The husband: check. The career: check. The house: check. The family: check. Raise a glass to yourself, you’ve gone and got it all. But alas, the day-to-day grind is starting to take its toll. The intimate snuggles on the couch have become few and far between. The sweaty and sensual sex is a distant memory. And the big comfy knickers seem to multiply daily in your underwear drawer.
But this is not the end – not by a long shot
Every now and then, it’s time to take the pinny off, pick the prosecco up and inject a bit of va va voom back into the relationship.
And it’s easier than you may think! Follow these three simple steps to get your man hot under his starched white collar and begging for your touch.
I See You Shiver with Antici….patron
Who wants to just get it over and done with? Where’s the fun in that? Half the fun is the arousal. Making him want you. Making him need you. You have the power and the ability to do it, and he is waiting for you to make that move.
Be as bold as you dare, you are your own person. Start small and work your way up, this way by the time it comes to it he will be like putty in your hand.
Why not try slipping a note into his pocket before he goes to work saying that you think they should put the kids to bed early that night. If you’re feeling particularly daring, that you’ve got some very sexy underwear that you obviously need his assistance in removing. His mind will be a whirlwind of sexual tension all day as he counts down the minutes until he can have you in his arms.
If dirty messages aren’t your style, start with just a touch. Your sexuality is your main asset in situations like this and the key is to use this to your advantage. A slow finger trace down his chest, a flirty squeeze of the top of his thigh, a cheeky bum grab will send electric currents pulsing through his skin.
It’s often said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the same can be said as a way into his pants. Food can change a boring night in front of the TV into a night of raw, sexual passion. Play around with what food you can have the most fun with – etiquette is not always required, nor wanted. The anticipation could reach boiling point, especially if you’re having your evening meal with no underwear on.
Everyday life can seem hectic, and sometimes all you need to do is take your time. Enjoy the moment. Take in every part of him and revel in your partnership. This connection and appreciation from his wife will leave him reeling in sexual arousal and desire.
If foreplay is something usually saved for birthdays, make a little extra effort to include it more often in your sex life. This will not only be extremely pleasurable, but make the whole sexual experience last longer whilst affirming the sexual relationship between you and your husband.
Every person is different and you know your husband better than anyone else. But the key is to let this tension build just long enough without it just seeming like inane teasing. If he knows that all the build-up will lead to something more, the end result could be explosive; in more ways than one.
We Need to Talk
Be honest about what you want. Believe it or not, your husband is not a mind reader and sometimes you may think that you are giving off all the obvious signs and he will go about his day-to-day activities completely oblivious. This isn’t to say that you need to be blunt about it, ‘fancy a quickie’ may in some instances do the trick and turn him on but I think you owe yourself a bit more creativeness than that.
Actively discuss with your partner what his sexual desires are; if there are any scenarios, positions or toys he wants to try with you but has always been too scared to bring up to you. Your willingness to embrace his own desires will go a long way in strengthening your sexual and romantic relationship and ultimately bring you closer together.
In the same respect, be open about your own sexual fantasies. A relationship is a two-way thing and his main focus during sex is to ensure your pleasure. If there are certain interests that he does not know arouse you, how is he meant to act on it? Not only will this add variety to your normal one (or two) position routine, but it will give a new lease of life and excitement to your sex life.
Spontaneity and flexibility are vital in ensuring the passion remains in a relationship, so you turn him on just as much as you did in the beginning of your relationship. This is not to say that he is not sexually aroused by you now, but there is no harm in mixing it up a little. But remember, you know your husband and know when such acts of spontaneity will be most appreciated.
But let’s be honest, it’s not all about the sex. Don’t get me wrong, these intimate times between husband and wife are a huge factor in a lasting relationship but I think we’re past the stage of just seeing men as a walking, talking sex machines. They deserve more credit than that.
You are his Queen and you need to remember that. His end goal is your happiness and sometime this can be forgotten or overlooked. All the sexual anticipation and wild sex moves diminish in meaning if he does not feel appreciated or wanted. Sometimes all it takes to turn him on is you taking a genuine interest in his day or activities, embracing his family and treating him like the King you know he is.
I’m Sexy and I Know It
The biggest turn on for your husband is you. The sooner you realize this, the better. Confidence is a huge turn on and that all starts with you. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and watch your sex life blossom.
Showers are a great place to reignite your sex life, you have got nowhere to hide, nor should you want to. A sensual shower with your husband will have him skipping merrily on his way to work without having to clean up any of the post-coital mess.
You are with the man you love, the man you chose to marry, perhaps the man you chose to have your children with. This far surpasses any other aspect of your sex life.
No-one is perfect. If someone tells you that there is not one part of their body that they are not completely satisfied with, they are lying. It is that simple. But the key is embracing your imperfections and loving them. They make you who you are.
Your husband loves you, wobbly bits included. Why would you try to hide any part of yourself from him? It is widely accepted that men are visual, so show yourself off. Remind him of how sexy you are, what he’s got and be proud of yourself.
A seductive dance or sultry strip tease is a great way to not only boost your own self-confidence, but make you husband insanely turned on. And, funnily enough, links back to the anticipation aspect I mentioned earlier. You want to make the encounter as sexually enticing as you can for the both of you – this is a great place to start!
In his article ‘3 Ways To Sexually Reconnect With Your Partner’, Clifford N Lazarus Ph.D. sums marital sex up quite aptly; ‘Dive right into sex again’. Although it may not sound that simple, it really is! Throw those inhibitions out of the window, and give them a little wave goodbye. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your relationship or your life.
Fear only prevents sexual liberation, and that’s not fun for anyone. Not only will your confidence result in him being turned on like hell, but it will increase your own self-esteem. And who knows, hopefully this boost in ego will radiate into other areas of your life.
Ultimately, I cannot tell you how you can turn your husband on, just pretty good ideas. However, in truth, you already know the answer. It is not by pure accident that the man led next to you is your husband. That is a choice you made together and sometimes that is taken for granted – perhaps due to everyday expectations, or dare I say sometimes laziness.
So, take the time to re-engage with your soul mate; listen to him, add sparks of excitement and accept your own sexual prowess. I can guarantee, neither of you will be left disappointed.