Everyone knows that breakups are hard. It’s not always clear what you should do as it becomes clear that your relationship is over. Do you try to make amends? Or should you cut ties so that you can move on with your life?
There’s no simple answer, but one technique that more and more women are employing is the no contact rule.
Let’s explore the 30-day no contact rule psychology. This rule can be used in many different ways, and it has some big benefits to offer those who are hoping to move on from – or back to – their ex!
What Is The 30-Day No Contact Rule?
The 30-day no contact rule is exactly what it sounds like.
For 30 days following a breakup or separation, you cut off all contact with your ex. This includes phone calls, text, emails, and all types of communication. Some people even go as far as to stop posting publicly on social media so that their exes cannot keep tabs on what they are up to.
Every situation is different and warrants a different level of no contact, but the basis is that you should no longer be relying on your ex as a source of communication, comfort, or affection during this time.
Why Do People Use The 30-Day No Contact Rule?
There are a lot of different reasons that people enact a no contact rule. Let’s go through some basics of the 30-day no contact rule, why people use it, and what these 30 days are meant to do for you.
Time For Healing
The main reason that some people choose to follow a no contact rule is to give themselves time to heal and regain their confidence. Breakups can be hard, and people often say harsh things in the heat of an emotional moment.
Taking 30 days for space and to heal before you decide what the next steps are can be very important for both sides of any breakup.
Time For Feeling
In addition to healing, you also need time to sort out what you’re feeling for your ex after a breakup.
In a relationship, there’s true affection, and there’s also affection that simply builds up over time. Sometimes, true affection disappears, but you never notice it until you break up.
Taking some time with no contact after a breakup can help both parties to figure out what they really feel (and felt) for their ex. Do you still love them? Or is it time to move on?
This video can give you some more insight on the real purpose of a no contact period:
This time is particularly important whenever breakups happen very unexpectedly or due to a single argument. After all, couples sometimes do break up whenever they still have strong feelings for each other, but they need to work on how to communicate and resolve conflict better.
For people that feel they broke up without a good reason, it can be good to implement a no contact rule. This will push you to see if you broke up without a reason or if there was something more going on. Do they miss you? Are they trying to contact you? Or has your time together ended?
Taking time after a break up with no contact can make it clearer if they miss you or not, and that can help you decide what you are feeling as well.
Will My Ex Come Back After No Contact?
There are some women who use a no contact rule to get him back after a breakup. For years some women have believed that cutting off a man after a breakup can make them realize their mistake and bring them back. After all, people want what they can’t have, right?
However, using the no contact rule to get him back is not a game that you should play. And you should never use this rule to get revenge.
While it’s okay to hope that the relationship can be repaired once you both have had some time to work on your personal feelings, the no contact rule should always be about figuring out what you want, not about manipulating your former partner.
Real people’s emotions cannot be guaranteed by playing games with each other. Take the 30 days to truly sort out what you feel, and then communicate with your ex if you still want to try again.
What Do I Do Once It’s Over?
Wondering about what to do after the 30 days of no contact rule?
It can be confusing. You’ve made it through the hardest days of the breakup, but now you have to decide where to go from here.
By asking yourself these questions after a 30-day no contact period, you’ll be able to figure out where your path should take you next:
- Do you feel confident in yourself and your feelings?
- Do you believe that your relationship is over for good?
- Does your ex still value you and your relationship?
- Are you willing to work on improving your relationship if you get back together?
- Did you miss them, or did you miss having someone as a support system?
Whether you reconcile with your ex or reconcile with your new, single self, it’s okay. The point is that you will discover your true feelings and you are moving on to a bigger, brighter future (even though it might not feel this way at first)!
It’s Time To Start Your 30 Days
No matter which category of post-breakup feelings you fall into, you can benefit from giving the 30-day no contact rule a try. If nothing else, 30-day no contact rule psychology guarantees that you’ll have the space and time you need to better understand your feelings, expectations, and hopes for the future of your love life.
Do you have advice or experiences about the 30-day no contact rule that might help other women in a tough situation? Share it with us all below so we can learn from each other.