When I was younger I even paid for it!
What I’m talking about is approval. And at 8 years old, Tasha said that she wasn’t going to be my friend anymore and she was popular, so I ran right in my house and emptied out my piggy bank.
Yes, I paid her to be my friend.
And shortly after that, we weren’t friends anymore. So even though I spent my life’s savings thinking I was making a smart investment in a friend, she still didn’t like me. And I was hurting my “friendship” with her rather than helping it when I paid for her approval.
And that’s what a lot of women do today with dating. Most of us don’t outright pay the guy to keep on dating us (although some do), but sometimes we’re guilty of hurting ourselves to get his approval. This means putting our wants and desires aside to make him happy.
The bottom line is that God made each one of us unique for a reason. No one can copy his design. And what attracts men or anyone else to you is YOU being yourself.
And when I say too easy, I mean too easy to please others, without putting your feelings and expectations first.
This is important because you teach the world how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. And if you are giving in to every single thing someone else wants, they have no reason to treat you differently.
Here’s a huge secret: Good men will pursue you to be a PART of your life, not to control your life.
Here are some warning signals that you are becoming too easy.
1. Low Expectations – It’s easy for a man to become a part of your life. All he has to do is compliment you or ask for your number and he’s in your life. Or you go out with him a couple of times and you really hate it but you continue to keep him around for fear you won’t get another opportunity.
2. Being An Actress – This means not being yourself. You think he will like you if you “act” like someone else. This might be the worse because you know in your heart that this isn’t you but you have to continue to play the part for him to like you.
3. Being Too Available – This means changing your plans too quickly to make them work with his. If you planned to workout on Friday at 5:00p.m., and he asks you out to a movie at the same time. Keep your date with yourself. Tell him you are busy at 5:00p.m. and you won’t be able to go. Make him work for it. Believe me, he will ask you out again if he’s interested.
So maybe you didn’t outright pay cash for a “friend”.
But you are doing something far worse. You are paying with your heart. Because if you are doing things just because of someone else, you really aren’t doing things that make you happy. And this is where heart break comes in.
And true happiness is what attracts the RIGHT man in your life.