You are not alone. Many women experience a point in marriage where their husband pulls away or a separation happens. It hurts, especially when marriage is supposed to be forever. Whether your husband has slightly pulled away from the marriage, your marriage is close to divorce or your husband has become uninterested in you, there are 4 things you can do to get your husband back.
Are you getting predictable responses from your husband?
You may be getting frustrated because you feel that you have tried everything to get your husband back. You might get angry with him and tell him all the reasons he is making a mistake or you may be the complete opposite, doing everything for him in order to convince him that he should stay. How is that working for you?
If your husband is not responding positively to your behavior, you will need to change your behavior. You may believe that your husband is predictable and every time you do something to help with the marriage whether it is suggesting counseling or giving him advice on how the marriage could get better, he acts in a predictable way.
But what you may fail to realize is that he may believe that you are predictable when you come to him trying to improve your marriage. If you want different results you have to try new things.
Keeping a journal of what is working and what is not working when trying different techniques to improve your marriage is going to be vitally important. Your goal is to do more of the things that work and eliminate those things that aren’t giving you the positive responses you want.
Are you happy?
Although this might seem unimportant when you are trying to get your husband back, it is an essential part of the process.
You may believe once your marriage is better, you will be happy or that your happiness has nothing to do with the failed marriage.
Sometimes when you are not happy, your attitude changes and that sours the marriage. When you do the things necessary to keep yourself happy, you will have less time to focus on what your husband is not doing right. Your husband will have to spend less time arguing with you and more time looking at his personal issues.
The power of the pen
Writing handwritten letters can be effective in communication if you and your spouse have had difficulty communicating verbally.
When you write your letter it is not your time to vent and tell him everything that is wrong with him. You will want to write a loving letter, telling him how much you appreciate him but also letting him know about how you are feeling. Feelings are key here, because he won’t be able to deny how you feel about certain things but he can flat out deny accusations you may make in your letter.
Is your point the one that “always” makes sense?
Most of the time when we are engaging in an argument with someone or there is stress with the relationship we can only see one side of the equation. It will be helpful to try to understand and empathize with your husband regarding his issues as well.
A great way to do this is to repeat what he is saying back to him. Sometimes huge arguments are just misunderstandings. You may repeat something back to him that he has said and he may explain to you that it is not what he meant.
Usually marriage problems boil down to communication problems. Give him a chance to talk without interrupting and repeat what you hear him saying back to him “So, what you are saying is….”