I have been friends with a guy for over 6 years. Our families know each other and he has shared some of his deepest secrets with me. I care about him a lot but he doesn’t seem to know what’s standing right in front of him! I’m just trying to understand if I should pursue this relationship or just leave it alone. – In love with a friend
Dear In Love With a Friend,
Being in love with a friend can be difficult because you feel that you know your friend and what’s best for him, in this case you, but it seems like the friend has not realized it.
I always suggest dating other guys in these types of situations, because when your heart is solely focused on your friend, then you give off the “I would do anything for you” sort of feel to your friend and that only serves to push your friend further away.
This doesn’t mean that you have to give up on you and your friend being more than friends, it just means that you are seeing what else is out there so you won’t be putting so much pressure on your friend to be yours.
Sometimes him seeing you having fun with your life and dating is all it takes for him to see that, man, I might really miss out OR you may find that you find someone that is an even better match for you through dating.
I would suggest allowing him to see your true value by you just being yourself. If you want to bring up the prospect of being in a relationship with him without being too forward, I have a great tip that I learned from a friend.
Tell him that you had the weirdest or strangest dream. Tell him in the dream you saw you and him together. Then ask him, “Isn’t that crazy?” Then when he gives his answer, it’s going to let you know where his mindset is for a relationship.
No matter what, I wouldn’t put pressure on him to start a relationship with you. Sometimes you may believe that it is obvious that you should be together, but if you don’t allow him to pursue you and see that for himself, he will always be wondering whether he is in the relationship because you forced it or because he really wanted it. Remember, every woman deserves the feeling of being pursued and if your friend isn’t pursuing you, you will not have the true satisfaction of being wanted and desired by a man.
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Have you ever been in love with a friend? What has been your experience? Share below in the comments.