The biggest mistake that any woman can make in dating and relationships is thinking that a man operates in the same way she does. This is by far the biggest reason women have trouble getting the man they want.
For example, a woman may write a man a letter, bake him cookies, offer to take his clothes to the dry cleaners, because that’s what she would want from a man. But often times this just turns a man off because men enjoy the chase. If you make it too easy for him, you become very boring, this is one of the reasons you may not be attractive to the man you want, you’re just too easy.
Let me explain.
He’s Not Interested Because You’re Too Interested In Him
But doesn’t he want me to be interested in him? Yes, men like for women to be interested in them but in a different way than women think.
A lot of times women approach men like a job application, you may pick him out and determine that he’s the man you want regardless and you are going to work to get him. You almost fail every time when you have this attitude.
Men are turned off by women who will do anything to get their attention. Writing him letters, flirting with him aggressively, or making it obvious that you would do anything to get with him, takes away the chase.
Sure, he may take you up on your offer but the chance of you creating a beautiful, healthy relationship is minimal. And most likely sometime throughout your relationship you will find that the shy boy that you didn’t think was capable of approaching you, will be more than ready to approach another woman.
Don’t take away the chase from the man. It makes him feel good as well as you.
He’s Not Interested Because You’re Not Interested Enough
Wait, but didn’t you just say that you could be too interested? Yes, you can be too interested but you can also stop him from approaching you by not giving him some clear signals that you want him to start his pursuit.
This does not mean throwing yourself all over him, he just needs to know that if he approaches you he won’t be rejected.
This means that you should be giving good eye contact to the man you are interested in and a warm smile. But the key here is when you smile, look away briefly, and then smile again. One smile just won’t do it, he’ll think that you are being friendly and not necessarily that you want him to approach you.
This light flirting is very effective.
You’re Just Not His Type
What is his type? I don’t know, it’s different for every man. Make no mistake, men ARE NOT attracted to attractive women, but RATHER women they find attractive. This means that you can be beautiful and he still may not find you attractive.
Or you can feel that you aren’t the type, but actually you are exactly what he is looking for.
Choose from the men that find you attractive. If he doesn’t find you attractive initially, there is really nothing you can do within reasonable limits, unless it’s a weight issue, in that regards you can either gain a few pounds or lose a few pounds.
But if he is the only motivation for changing your appearance, you go back to being a woman who is too interested.
Men have a choice, don’t get angry at him or call him shallow if he is not attracted to you. Move on, men who are not attracted to you are not good mates. Pick from the pool of men who see you as beautiful, they’ll work harder to get you and keep you.