I started to send you a quick email as to why many women fail in relationships and end up in “BTA” situations. What is a “BTA” relationship? It means “better than alone”. I wish I could coin this term but it actually came from a guy named T.W. Jackson, more on him later.
But what I want to get across today is WHY many women fail in relationships and end up in “better than alone” relationships.
Which honestly, a bad or unfulfilling relationship can NEVER be “better than alone”. You agree, right?
But as I have been teaching women about relationships for over 3 years, I have realized what the women who succeed have that women who have little success don’t.
Are you ready for this? Because I believe it’s going to help you in ALL areas of your life, not just relationships.
I have come to find out that the people who truly succeed in relationships and life are those people that have the ability to truly believe the RIGHT information and run with it. And unfortunately, a lot of times these are not the highly intelligent individuals.
How Intelligence Screws You Up
If you are highly intelligent or even just a little, it’s hard for you to believe certain things because you have a lot of questions and people who are intelligent are usually the ones that can figure out all the reasons why something will NOT work. I know, I’m one of them.
For instance if I gave you the statement “You can meet a man and get married within one year’s timeframe” – if you are highly intelligent you’ve probably already thought of 5 or more reasons why that CAN’T work.
It’s really tough to make a change in your life, especially if your current beliefs have been put in your head and supported for most of your life.
Let me give you an example in my own life.
From a very young age, I was always told that my sister was a better dancer than me. When I was younger, I kind of brushed it off, or so I thought.
As I got older, I made the mistake of believing I wasn’t that great of a dancer. And my beliefs made me not even try. It’s even gotten so bad now that close members of my family tell me that I flat out “can’t dance”.
Luckily for me, I’ve never aspired to be a great dancer, BUT think about those beliefs that have been put in you from a very young age. “You’ll never find anyone because you’re too pudgy”, “No one will want to marry you because you are too selfish”, “The only men you are going to attract are really old ones.”
I have no idea WHAT you are hearing from friends, family or so called loved ones, but these things SHAPE your beliefs. And when they are said over and over again, they take over your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words, so you might find yourself saying “All men cheat” or “All men are dogs” not because you necessarily initially believed them yourself BUT because you have heard it so many times.
Your words dictate your actions and your actions determine your success. So if you’ve been hearing some negative things about relationships for a very long time, you can see how that might have had a negative impact on your actions and ultimately your results right?
So my question to you is, what other beliefs have you held on to?
And how hard are those beliefs to change?
In my case I’m still working on changing my belief that “I can’t dance”. You can’t just read ONE book or listen to ONE program and have your beliefs that you have had until you were very young eliminated.
The secret to getting rid of beliefs and STAYING ON TRACK is continuous education and putting that education into action. You need to also hang around people who support your beliefs, because guess what?
The people that support your NEW beliefs talk differently to you and instead of “There’s no good men out there”, you will hang around those that say, “There’s so many good men out there, I’m having trouble choosing ONE” – Do you see the change there? If you hear that enough, your thoughts are going to change as well.
THIS is the reason why many people fail in things they want to do whether it is getting in a good relationship, losing weight, starting a new business. The initial EXCITEMENT is not enough. If it was everyone would be different and achieving new levels of success.
How many times have you had a friend tell you they were excited about something NEW they were doing in their life and then a couple months later, they had given up?
It happens more often than not.
This is key to success in anything. This is why I pointed out in the beginning that intelligent people have a hard time at changing belief systems. People who are able to take the RIGHT information and believe it easily are the ones that make DRASTIC changes in their lives.
So once you decide what you want out of your life, start educating yourself regularly, hang around those people that support your beliefs and most importantly – keep on doing it until it is second nature.
I want you guys to check out this video by T.W. Jackson (the guy who coined “BTA” relationships) about relationships, it’s called Girl Gets Ring and I think it’s going to challenge some long standing beliefs you have had about relationships.
Be sure to watch the full video, because at the end he shares one of the most important things you need to have to move a guy more towards commitment, whether you have a crush on him or have been dating for a while.
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