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Robyn Lee

I Want My Man Back! (Short & Simple)

I Want My Man Back

So you and your man broke up? And now you want him back. Maybe he left you for another woman, maybe he decided that you just weren’t the right woman for him, or maybe you even had a huge argument and both of you are too stubborn to make up. You might have even initiated the break up yourself.

Whichever is the case, I am going to help you to get him back.

The 1st Thing That Needs To Be Done:

During this time you may be tempted to give more of yourself. Maybe you want to call him to apologize, maybe you want to text him and tell him how stupid he is for breaking up with you, or maybe you are just so sad and you want to share this information with him through your voicemails.

All of these things will only push him farther away. He will start to think that you are CRAZY and even feel more firm about his decision to break up with you.

The 1st Thing That Needs To Be Done:

Note: You may have done some crazy things after your break up and that’s ok, you just need to make a commitment to yourself that you will stop doing them. Break ups bring out a lot of emotions you might not have known you had for him.

The best thing to do following a break up is give him the space he has asked for or that he needs.

Once you stop contacting him he will begin to wonder what is up with you. Are you dating someone else? Have you moved on already? What are you doing to fill up your days? — The less contact you make with him, the more he will curious about what you are up to.

The next technique that should be used to get your man back may be difficult for you to stomach, but it works more with your mindset than anything else.

Within a couple of weeks after the break up, you should consider dating other men. This does not mean having intimate relationships with other men it just means seeing what else is out there.

Well doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose? No, actually it helps, because it keeps your mind off your ex, which you will need to do to get him back – This will serve to boost your confidence and let you know that you are desired by other men besides your ex.

What If He Is Dating Other Women?

What If He Is Dating Other Women?

If you ex is dating other women, you shouldn’t worry too much about it. The same as it would be difficult for another man to come in your life and swoop you off your feet immediately after a breakup, it will also be difficult for another woman to take your place. This is because the two of you have a history together so you have the advantage.

Lastly, if you are seeing your ex on different occasions or if you work or go to school with him, keep your conversations to the bare minimum. His curiosity will get the best of him if you are not contacting him and he will want to know what is going on with you. Resist the urge to tell him every single thing that is going on in your life. Keep it short and simple.

How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back & Love You Again

how to make your ex boyfriend want you back

Even If He Has Lost All Interest In You

how to make your ex boyfriend want you backThere is a lot of anger and sadness when a break up first occurs. It can even linger for months or years. When your ex boyfriend has seemingly lost interest in you and is able to move on with his life without an interruption it even hurts more.

Maybe it seems like the break up hasn’t affected him at all or even worse he seems happier that you are not together. If this is the case, there are still things you can do to make him want you back and even want you more.

I’m going to share with you three things you can do to get your ex boyfriend to want you back and also some valuable information on why break ups happen in the first place.

Before I share with you how to make your ex boyfriend want you back, you will need to understand the reason break ups happen. Most often a man will break up with a woman because he senses that the grass is greener on the other side, meaning he feels that he can do better without you.

He may also break up with you because he needs a break. Or, he may have interest in someone else. Whatever the reason may be for him leaving, it only takes a little skill to get him back interested in you and want you back.

I’m going to be honest with you, it will be difficult to make your boyfriend want you back but simple. Let me explain.

Here’s the most important part in getting him back:

Firstly, you will need to exercise some self control. Often times just as a break up occurs or even months after, you may feel the need to “stalk” your ex lover. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you are driving by his home at 1:00 in the morning or that you happen to pop up at his job because you were “in the neighborhood”. Stalking most often happens by phone and text, because it’s easy to make a phone call and hang up and even easier to shoot off text messages out of anger and sadness.

The hardest part in making your boyfriend want you back is going to be exercising self control. If you can control your actions, you are more likely to make your boyfriend want you back.

If you are calling and texting him continuously, he has you right where he wants you. Because he knows that he was a big part of your life and that he can have you back at anytime he wants you, so there is really no rush.

But if you discontinue calls, texts, and communication, he has no idea what you are up to. Could you be ok with the break up? Was this something you wanted all along too? Could you be dating someone else? Could you have already had someone else throughout the relationship? He has no freakin’ clue, so automatically he is going to shift from having fun and moving on to trying to figure out why you aren’t trying to get him back, especially if you had wanted to get back together with him so much before.

How to move on to get back together…

Next, you will want to keep your mind off the break up. You will need to fill your time with things that you like to do. Get in contact with some friends that you might have lost touch with because you were “too busy” with your relationship. But be careful not to use them to talk about how horrible you feel about the breakup.

Your focus should be figuring out what life is like without your man. This is a great skill because you will be able to define yourself without him.

Are you the gift or are you the giver?

Lastly, since you have stopped contacting him and have started your own life you will need to have a different mindset. Your new mindset involves knowing that you are the prize to be pursued. You will also need to entertain the possibility that your ex boyfriend may be the guy for you or he may not.

I know if you really love your ex, you really don’t want to entertain the possibility that he may not be “the one”, but adopting this new mindset puts you in a much better position in actually getting him to want you back.

You won’t be “easy” anymore and he will see that you know that you are valuable and he will have to really do some work and pursuing to get you back. He will want you even more because he sees that you now have options, you could be with him or you could move on a date other men.

BEWARE: Not contacting your ex boyfriend may cause him to quickly pursue you and want to be back in your life. He may start chasing you again and want to be intimate again. But you should never be intimate with your ex boyfriend without a commitment. Just let him know that “you aren’t into casual intimacy anymore”. You need more. You will only get hurt worse if your boyfriend comes back to fulfill his needs only to leave again.

Sign up for my 5 lesson mini course on how to get your ex back, for additional tips on how to get him back.

 

How To Get Back With My Ex Boyfriend: 4 Helpful Tips

how to get back with my ex boyfriend

Even If He Broke Up With You

When a boyfriend breaks up with you it is one of the most hurtful feelings you may experience. Especially if he has left you for another woman or seems to have lost all interest in you. You may feel that it is difficult to go on or you may even experience some physical pain from the break up.

Firstly, as tough as it may be, you will need to relax. It will be impossible to get your ex boyfriend back if you are overly emotional or have anger in your heart. It will just push him farther away.

I’m going to share with you exactly what needs to be done not only to get your boyfriend back but also to get him to pursue you. I am also going to share with you the number one mistake that you may be making that causes him to hold firm to his decision of not wanting a relationship with you.

Now before we start getting your ex boyfriend back I want to think back in the relationship and see if there were some warning signals that the break up was going to happen. Were there any concerns that your boyfriend expressed to you over and over again that you might have ignored or deemed unimportant? If you remember some concerns your ex boyfriend had, keep them in mind.

Now I want you to think about whether these were valid concerns or things you would be willing to change or do differently? If so, you may want to work towards getting your ex boyfriend back, but if you think the issues you were having in your relationship were serious and you are not willing to make the changes, it’s really not worth it getting him back. You may just feel hurt that he dropped the ball before you, in this case you will have to move on from the break up.

If you feel that you and your boyfriend were a great match and you want to get him back, here are three things that are necessary to warm his heart towards you again.

Let him breath

If he has broken up with you, give him a chance to breath. He likely feels that he had a good reason to break up with you. Give him a chance to see what life is like without you. A lot of times just giving him a week off or so will cause him to call you or contact you and want to go out with you again. Sometimes a break up is a way to get a break from the relationship for a while. It may not be that he is cheating or doesn’t want you, he just might want some breathing room, give it to him.

Use this time to focus on yourself and re-access your goals. Don’t continuously text or call him and let him know he made a big mistake or try to make him jealous by taking pictures of yourself with other men and posting it to your Facebook page. Let’s be civil about this. If you love him, you will give him the space he needs.

Fill it up

Along with giving him his breathing room, I want you to fill up your schedule with some things that you like to do. Hang out with friends, but be careful not to spend the whole time complaining about your break up, this will cause friends to want to create distance between you also. Create a full schedule so you have little time to think about the break up. Thinking about the break up will only cause you to want to contact him and pressure him into changing his mind or even contacting him to express your anger which both makes him move farther away from you.

Change your mindset

Now this is going to be the most difficult. You may feel that your ex is the only man for you. But you will have to move out of that mindset. You will have to start thinking, “He could be the man for me or God could have someone better for me”. You have to be open to the fact that you may not get back together. You have to trust that everything will work out for the best whether you get back together or not.

You can love your ex boyfriend and still entertain the possibility there might be a better person for you in your future. When you start thinking in this way you are helping the situation because you are not dependent on him. You start working from a different perspective and your ex boyfriend will notice that you are calm and not “needing” him in order to be happy in life. This actually makes him want you more.

Ready to get your ex back? Sign Up for My 5 Lesson Mini Course on Getting Your Ex Back To Find Out How

 

He Doesn’t Believe In Love

He Doesn't Believe In Love

Mini Blog Post Series – Are You Giving Too Much??

Occasionally, I will answer relationship questions for readers of my 10 Lesson Mini Course on Men (it’s free, btw).

And as I was answering a question for one of my readers, I realized that a lot of women may have issues with the same thing and decided to post a mini blog post on giving too much in a relationship.

About My Reader

My reader was telling me about how she has been dating a guy for 7 months and how the relationship is great but….he does not want to commit because he doesn’t believe in love.

Hmmm….doesn’t believe in love.

What We Tend To Do

What We Tend To Do

Oftentimes when dating you may respect a guys decision to only want to see you on certain days or the fact that he has been hurt in the past and wants to take the relationship slow. You may be very accommodating because you don’t want to scare him off.

But what about you? What do you want? Is he accommodating you? What are your standards?

If you are not getting the things you want in a relationship, you shouldn’t be giving like you are. If you are giving him everything he wants, there is actually little desire for him to give you what you want. Why? He’s getting everything he desires, why should he change anything.

What You Should Do

1) Firstly, you have to decide what you want in a relationship. If you want a committed relationship full of love and someone who believes in love, you should not be settling for anything less.

What You Should Do

2) Once you figure out what you want in a relationship, I would suggest not giving a man everything he wants (for example: sex, cooking for him, cleaning for him, living together) if you are not getting the things you require or need.

You should save these things for a committed relationship. And if he is not ready for that, you should not be ready to give to him like you are already receiving everything you want.

I would also recommend taking a look at this site, What’s He Really Thinking? You will start to understand which men are most likely to commit before getting into a relationship.

How To Move On After A Breakup

how to move on after a breakup

The 4 Best Ways to Help You Get Over Your Break Up Fast!

It’s hardest on the weekends.

If you have just broken up with someone and you are still in love with them, it is toughest when you can’t fill up your time spending time with them.No matter how much it hurts, moving on past heartbreak is essential in order to rebuild your life and remain sane.

Here are four additional strategies you should use to move past heartbreak:

1. Acknowledge that it happened – As much as you might want to, ignoring the fact that you just broke up won’t help. It will make it harder to heal. Don’t pretend that it hasn’t happened.

2. Realize it’s going to take time – Be patient with yourself, you will not get over the person in one day, although we all wish we could. Give yourself time to get the person out of your system. This may take weeks or months. Don’t rush yourself to get into another relationship right away especially if you aren’t ready. Take small steps.

Take some time for yourself and focus on some things that you like to do. Rebuild your brand and who you are. Often times in relationships we stop doing some things we like to do in order to carve out more time to spend with our significant other. Get back to those things and what you like to do and keep busy doing them. The more time you spend focusing on things you like to do, the less time you spend thinking about the break up.

3. Release that person – This can be done in different ways. But if you still hold on to that person and the hurts that they have caused, it will be impossible for you to move on to a healthy relationship. You have got to let go.

4. Slowly get back into the swing of things – Sometimes a lot of women get stuck in phase two where they are realizing it will take time, but at some point you have got to get back out there.

Take it slow, but do SOMETHING.

 

A Friendly Kiss & Now I Love Him

Dear Robyn,

I have been in love with someone since the day I’ve met him.

It sounds corny and cliché but I know myself and my heart. I’ve never told him, though I’m sure he’s noticed.

He just started dating someone else. We are really great friends and hang out all the time so I brushed it off to enjoy our time together.

The other night we were hanging out as usual but he was flirting with me more than usual. He laid down beside me and for a while we were tangled up in each other, just lying there. He kissed me that night, on my cheeks, and forehead and then on my lips, not like a friend but passionately.

We’ve never been this close before and the entire night keeps running through my head over and over, like I’m reliving every second to feel our connection again.

He knows me very well and he knows better than to play with me, especially my emotions but I can’t help but think he thought of it as a friendly kiss. I feel like it was so much more but I won’t let myself believe it because I don’t want it to hurt if the truth comes out that it is not.

Any advice you have would help me so much Robyn.

Nadia

Note: If you want to learn techniques on how to turn your crush into a relationship when the attraction is hot, I would highly recommend taking a look at From Flirting To Forever.This comprehensive flirting guide not only gives some great flirting tips but guides you step by step on what to do in the different stages of attraction.

Nadia,

Don’t fool yourself now! That does not sound like a friendly kiss. Whether he admits that he is into you or not, you guys shared an intimate moment.

The litmus test of friendly kisses: If you were dating someone and they kissed their best friend like he kissed you, would that be ok with you?

Now, since we have established the kiss at the very least was a little more than friendly you can plan your next moves.

Here’s what I would suggest:

Talk to him: Normally, I would suggest that after a kiss you let the guy take the lead and guide the relationship. I would suggest waiting until he called you.

In your case, I would actually recommend that you initiate a conversation with him about what happened, especially since he is dating someone else.

If you don’t say anything about the kiss, he will believe that it is ok to kiss you or touch you without having to give anything in return in form of a relationship or any explanation.

By not saying anything you are communicating that you are free for his advances whenever he’s feeling like “he wants to get to know you better”.

Tell him that you are a little confused about what happened that night, especially since he is seeing someone else.

Just ask point blank “What was that all about?”

Listen: Then listen to what he has to say. Don’t interrupt him just listen and he will most likely give you the answer to your question.

If you want to continue being friends you have to allow him to explain without punishing him for what he says.

He could say that he really likes you and he wants to start a relationship with you but he can also say that he doesn’t know what happened and he’s sorry that he misled you.

If you want to be a good friend you have to prepare yourself for either response.

If he says something to the effect that he made a mistake, then you should make it clear to him that it is not fair to you that he play with your emotions like that.

He should not be taking advantage of the fact that you are into him.

If he says in fact that he is interested in you, you have to take things slow. Besides the fact that he is already seeing someone and he would have to end the relationship,

You mentioned that it was love at first sight. I’m sorry Nadia, but I don’t believe at love at first sight. I do believe that you felt chemistry.

A lot of women get into huge trouble with believing that they have found their prince charming based on one interaction or just seeing him walk down the street.

Here’s why:

If you believe him to be the man who will provide everything you need in a relationship, you start giving like he is already providing everything you need.

You will always lose if you do this because the way a man becomes more interested in a woman is if he is the one giving and making her happy.

If you are super interested in him you don’t give him any room to pursue you and he will need that room in order for his attraction to grow.

If you find yourself in this situation or you are interested in a man and want to know how to close the deal, I highly recommend From Flirting To Forever by Kara Oh. Honesty, the best flirting techniques to attract a man and actually keep him that I have seen.

Have you ever been in a situation similar to this? What did you do? Post your comment below.

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Robyn Lee writes about marriage, communication, and building better relationships. Obsessed with research, she combines insights from psychology, renowned relationship experts, and over two years of couples therapy to help women connect with their husbands in ways that actually work.

Learn more about Robyn’s story here.

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