Robyn Lee

How To Get Back With My Ex Boyfriend: 4 Helpful Tips

Even If He Broke Up With You

When a boyfriend breaks up with you it is one of the most hurtful feelings you may experience. Especially if he has left you for another woman or seems to have lost all interest in you. You may feel that it is difficult to go on or you may even experience some physical pain from the break up.

Firstly, as tough as it may be, you will need to relax. It will be impossible to get your ex boyfriend back if you are overly emotional or have anger in your heart. It will just push him farther away.

I’m going to share with you exactly what needs to be done not only to get your boyfriend back but also to get him to pursue you. I am also going to share with you the number one mistake that you may be making that causes him to hold firm to his decision of not wanting a relationship with you.

Now before we start getting your ex boyfriend back I want to think back in the relationship and see if there were some warning signals that the break up was going to happen. Were there any concerns that your boyfriend expressed to you over and over again that you might have ignored or deemed unimportant? If you remember some concerns your ex boyfriend had, keep them in mind.

Now I want you to think about whether these were valid concerns or things you would be willing to change or do differently? If so, you may want to work towards getting your ex boyfriend back, but if you think the issues you were having in your relationship were serious and you are not willing to make the changes, it’s really not worth it getting him back. You may just feel hurt that he dropped the ball before you, in this case you will have to move on from the break up.

If you feel that you and your boyfriend were a great match and you want to get him back, here are three things that are necessary to warm his heart towards you again.

Let him breath

If he has broken up with you, give him a chance to breath. He likely feels that he had a good reason to break up with you. Give him a chance to see what life is like without you. A lot of times just giving him a week off or so will cause him to call you or contact you and want to go out with you again. Sometimes a break up is a way to get a break from the relationship for a while. It may not be that he is cheating or doesn’t want you, he just might want some breathing room, give it to him.

Use this time to focus on yourself and re-access your goals. Don’t continuously text or call him and let him know he made a big mistake or try to make him jealous by taking pictures of yourself with other men and posting it to your Facebook page. Let’s be civil about this. If you love him, you will give him the space he needs.

Fill it up

Along with giving him his breathing room, I want you to fill up your schedule with some things that you like to do. Hang out with friends, but be careful not to spend the whole time complaining about your break up, this will cause friends to want to create distance between you also. Create a full schedule so you have little time to think about the break up. Thinking about the break up will only cause you to want to contact him and pressure him into changing his mind or even contacting him to express your anger which both makes him move farther away from you.

Change your mindset

Now this is going to be the most difficult. You may feel that your ex is the only man for you. But you will have to move out of that mindset. You will have to start thinking, “He could be the man for me or God could have someone better for me”. You have to be open to the fact that you may not get back together. You have to trust that everything will work out for the best whether you get back together or not.

You can love your ex boyfriend and still entertain the possibility there might be a better person for you in your future. When you start thinking in this way you are helping the situation because you are not dependent on him. You start working from a different perspective and your ex boyfriend will notice that you are calm and not “needing” him in order to be happy in life. This actually makes him want you more.

Ready to get your ex back? Sign Up for My 5 Lesson Mini Course on Getting Your Ex Back To Find Out How

He Doesn’t Believe In Love

Mini Blog Post Series – Are You Giving Too Much??

Occasionally, I will answer relationship questions for readers of my 10 Lesson Mini Course on Men (it’s free, btw).

And as I was answering a question for one of my readers, I realized that a lot of women may have issues with the same thing and decided to post a mini blog post on giving too much in a relationship.

About My Reader

My reader was telling me about how she has been dating a guy for 7 months and how the relationship is great but….he does not want to commit because he doesn’t believe in love.

Hmmm….doesn’t believe in love.

What We Tend To Do

Oftentimes when dating you may respect a guys decision to only want to see you on certain days or the fact that he has been hurt in the past and wants to take the relationship slow. You may be very accommodating because you don’t want to scare him off.

But what about you? What do you want? Is he accommodating you? What are your standards?

If you are not getting the things you want in a relationship, you shouldn’t be giving like you are. If you are giving him everything he wants, there is actually little desire for him to give you what you want. Why? He’s getting everything he desires, why should he change anything.

What You Should Do

1) Firstly, you have to decide what you want in a relationship. If you want a committed relationship full of love and someone who believes in love, you should not be settling for anything less.

2) Once you figure out what you want in a relationship, I would suggest not giving a man everything he wants (for example: sex, cooking for him, cleaning for him, living together) if you are not getting the things you require or need.

You should save these things for a committed relationship. And if he is not ready for that, you should not be ready to give to him like you are already receiving everything you want.

I would also recommend taking a look at this site, What’s He Really Thinking? You will start to understand which men are most likely to commit before getting into a relationship.

How To Move On After A Breakup

The 4 Best Ways to Help You Get Over Your Break Up Fast!

It’s hardest on the weekends.

If you have just broken up with someone and you are still in love with them, it is toughest when you can’t fill up your time spending time with them.No matter how much it hurts, moving on past heartbreak is essential in order to rebuild your life and remain sane.

Here are four additional strategies you should use to move past heartbreak:

1. Acknowledge that it happened – As much as you might want to, ignoring the fact that you just broke up won’t help. It will make it harder to heal. Don’t pretend that it hasn’t happened.

2. Realize it’s going to take time – Be patient with yourself, you will not get over the person in one day, although we all wish we could. Give yourself time to get the person out of your system. This may take weeks or months. Don’t rush yourself to get into another relationship right away especially if you aren’t ready. Take small steps.

Take some time for yourself and focus on some things that you like to do. Rebuild your brand and who you are. Often times in relationships we stop doing some things we like to do in order to carve out more time to spend with our significant other. Get back to those things and what you like to do and keep busy doing them. The more time you spend focusing on things you like to do, the less time you spend thinking about the break up.

3. Release that person – This can be done in different ways. But if you still hold on to that person and the hurts that they have caused, it will be impossible for you to move on to a healthy relationship. You have got to let go.

4. Slowly get back into the swing of things – Sometimes a lot of women get stuck in phase two where they are realizing it will take time, but at some point you have got to get back out there.

Take it slow, but do SOMETHING.

A Friendly Kiss & Now I Love Him

Dear Robyn,

I have been in love with someone since the day I’ve met him.

It sounds corny and cliché but I know myself and my heart. I’ve never told him, though I’m sure he’s noticed.

He just started dating someone else. We are really great friends and hang out all the time so I brushed it off to enjoy our time together.

The other night we were hanging out as usual but he was flirting with me more than usual. He laid down beside me and for a while we were tangled up in each other, just lying there. He kissed me that night, on my cheeks, and forehead and then on my lips, not like a friend but passionately.

We’ve never been this close before and the entire night keeps running through my head over and over, like I’m reliving every second to feel our connection again.

He knows me very well and he knows better than to play with me, especially my emotions but I can’t help but think he thought of it as a friendly kiss. I feel like it was so much more but I won’t let myself believe it because I don’t want it to hurt if the truth comes out that it is not.

Any advice you have would help me so much Robyn.

Nadia

Note: If you want to learn techniques on how to turn your crush into a relationship when the attraction is hot, I would highly recommend taking a look at From Flirting To Forever. This comprehensive flirting guide not only gives some great flirting tips but guides you step by step on what to do in the different stages of attraction.

Nadia,

Don’t fool yourself now! That does not sound like a friendly kiss. Whether he admits that he is into you or not, you guys shared an intimate moment.

The litmus test of friendly kisses: If you were dating someone and they kissed their best friend like he kissed you, would that be ok with you?

Now, since we have established the kiss at the very least was a little more than friendly you can plan your next moves.

Here’s what I would suggest:

Talk to him: Normally, I would suggest that after a kiss you let the guy take the lead and guide the relationship. I would suggest waiting until he called you.

In your case, I would actually recommend that you initiate a conversation with him about what happened, especially since he is dating someone else.

If you don’t say anything about the kiss, he will believe that it is ok to kiss you or touch you without having to give anything in return in form of a relationship or any explanation.

By not saying anything you are communicating that you are free for his advances whenever he’s feeling like “he wants to get to know you better”.

Tell him that you are a little confused about what happened that night, especially since he is seeing someone else.

Just ask point blank “What was that all about?”

Listen: Then listen to what he has to say. Don’t interrupt him just listen and he will most likely give you the answer to your question.

If you want to continue being friends you have to allow him to explain without punishing him for what he says.

He could say that he really likes you and he wants to start a relationship with you but he can also say that he doesn’t know what happened and he’s sorry that he misled you.

If you want to be a good friend you have to prepare yourself for either response.

If he says something to the effect that he made a mistake, then you should make it clear to him that it is not fair to you that he play with your emotions like that.

He should not be taking advantage of the fact that you are into him.

If he says in fact that he is interested in you, you have to take things slow. Besides the fact that he is already seeing someone and he would have to end the relationship,

You mentioned that it was love at first sight. I’m sorry Nadia, but I don’t believe at love at first sight. I do believe that you felt chemistry.

A lot of women get into huge trouble with believing that they have found their prince charming based on one interaction or just seeing him walk down the street.

Here’s why:

If you believe him to be the man who will provide everything you need in a relationship, you start giving like he is already providing everything you need.

You will always lose if you do this because the way a man becomes more interested in a woman is if he is the one giving and making her happy.

If you are super interested in him you don’t give him any room to pursue you and he will need that room in order for his attraction to grow.

If you find yourself in this situation or you are interested in a man and want to know how to close the deal, I highly recommend From Flirting To Forever by Kara Oh. Honesty, the best flirting techniques to attract a man and actually keep him that I have seen.

Have you ever been in a situation similar to this? What did you do? Post your comment below.

Dating Without Commitment (And How To Get Him to Commit)

3 Simple Ways To Deal With A Man Who Won’t Commit

Dear Robyn,

I’ve been seeing this guy for 9 months now and he still hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend.

Over the summer, I found out that he had a girlfriend, and they had been together for 5 or so years.

He explained to me his situation: he wasn’t emotionally or physically attached to his LONG-DISTANCE GIRLFRIEND. He broke up with her, but I recently found out that he is still talking to her!

I love this guy, but don’t know what to do. Maybe he hasn’t moved on? If that’s the case, should I drop him? I don’t know what his plans are but he tells me everyday that he loves me very much.

Help me.

Note: If you are dealing with a man who doesn’t want to commit, it may be helpful to be able to understand what’s on his mind and even if you will ever be the type of woman he will be able to commit to. That’s why I also recommend that you check out my advanced attraction techniques.

Dear A,

Dating is like a good game of chess. You don’t have to be a chess fan to know that in order to win you have to think strategically and two or three moves ahead.

This doesn’t mean that you are playing games with the other person, but it does mean that you should have a clear image of what you want before you start giving of yourself. You have to have an end goal in mind.

Whether that end goal is a relationship moving towards marriage or just a committed relationship is all up to you. But you have to know before you start getting emotionally involved.

A lot of women get in trouble because they meet a man and instead of listening to what he actually says about where he is on the relationship spectrum, we listen while all the time believing we can change him to our liking.

This will always fail, and you will always be unhappy if you do this.

It sounds like in your situation, he is very comfortable not having a commitment with you and still being able to communicate with his long time girlfriend.

I’m not sure if your “significant other” told you before that he wasn’t ready to settle down, but if a man says that he most likely means it. You should run fast if a committed relationship is what you want.

If this is not the case and he has expressed an interest in being exclusive with you, here is what you need to do.

1.Decide on what you want – What do you want from him? Do you want a committed relationship or are you fine with you guys just hanging out and without a title? Chances are since you wrote the letter that you want a commitment.

2.Commitment Conversation – Have a conversation with him. This conversation should be held in during the daylight hours. If you are having the conversation at night while kissing or more, it is less likely that his answer will be honest. You should say something like this…

Ex. “I am willing to be in a long term, committed relationship that has the possibility of ending in marriage that does not include regular communication with your ex girlfriend.” And then ask him. “ Are you?”

Or, if you are not looking for a marriage relationship just a committed one you can say…

Ex. “I am willing to be in an exclusive, committed relationship that doesn’t include regular communication with your ex.” “Is this something that you want?”

This might seem very forward but it gets to the point. There is no room for misinterpretation.

Before becoming intimate with someone (having sex), you should make clear what your goals are.

If he can agree to a relationship with ONLY you that is long term and ongoing, only then should intimacy be discussed.

If he just wants it to be a one time thing, then it is best to part ways. Usually it will be tough for a man to lie to you about wanting a long term commitment. Most men will disappear after a few days if this is all they want and you have expressed that you want a committed relationship.

If you have already been intimate with him, I suggest you have the same conversation and if he says that he is not comfortable with being in an exclusive, long term relationship with you, let him know that it is best for you guys to part ways because you do not feel comfortable giving of yourself without a commitment.

3.Playing the Waiting Game – After you have had your conversation, there is a chance that he will decide that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Respect his decision and give him time to think. If he has not called you after 2 months to tell you that he DOES in fact want a long term relationship, it is time for you to date other men.

Girlfriend to Girlfriend: Really, you have to ask yourself if the reason him and his ex broke up was just because of the distance. If it was, what happens if she comes back or moves into the same city.Without a clear commitment, you will be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

He Doesn’t Want To Get In A Relationship?! 3 Reasons Why

Are You Recognizing His Inability To Commit To A Relationship?

Dear Robyn,

I’ve been seeing a guy for almost 10 months and at first I didn’t really like him. He had a crush on me for 2 years and I finally decided to give him a chance and see if he was “the one”. We aren’t in a relationship and I have been single for 4 years.

He says the way his life is right now he doesn’t want to go down that road until he gets himself in order. Before we were just friends and we still are great friends. I really like him and I just want to know if I should stick around or should I give up? I don’t want to rush anything because we’ve been pretty good despite our arguments which stem from me wanting to be in a relationship with him, but I stopped once I had a talk with him about some things that were on my mind. So do you think I should let him go or continue pursuing? Andrea

Note: If you find that you are confused by the things that your man does, check out my advanced attraction techniques. Andrea, It seems that they always get us when they are super attracted to us and because we might be going through a dry dating period we decide to give them a chance when maybe otherwise we wouldn’t. As women part of what attracts us to men is their attraction to us.

There are actually different stages of dating that you must move through effectively to get into a committed relationship. “Prince Charming” (as they all are during the first stage of attraction) probably showed you lots of attention when he was trying to get you to date him.

But the next part of the dating process is sometimes difficult to handle and this is the part when both parties must decide if they want to spend additional time together or if it was just a little crush and they really aren’t compatible with each other. During this time, it is very common for a man after he has pursued you and has shown interest to pull back a little.

He might not call or contact you for days or weeks and he might not seem as interested as he once was. One mistake women make during this time is to question him about getting into a relationship or even worse try to pursue him. The best thing to do during this period is to occupy your time with other things.

This is how to do it effectively:

YOUR LOVE CURRICULUM:

Patience 201: This means that if he is not calling or contacting you, be patient. But at this time you should not pursue him any further. You should wait until or if he calls to set a date with you. Calls that are acceptable: Those calls that do not involve asking him about a relationship or asking him out on a romantic date. It is actually a good idea to call so he knows that you don’t hold any ill will towards him. Maybe you call him because you want to get his opinion on a subject he has expertise in or maybe you call because he left something at your house. Your call should be warm and friendly; you are just giving him an opportunity to ask you out again.

Friendship & Family 101: Spend more time with your family and friends to help the time fly by faster. If you are waiting for someone to ask you out, it might seem like everyday is a week or every week is a year. If you are consistently filling your schedule your focus won’t be on him calling you or him initiating a date.

Introspection 301: Most importantly, you should use the time to look inside yourself and see if you are truly compatible with this man or if this is a relationship YOU would like to continue. You might decide after reviewing everything that it is better to leave this guy as a friend.

Girlfriend To Girlfriend: If this guy actually told you he needs to get himself together before he enters into a relationship, I feel that you should do just that, give him time. But by giving him time he needs to understand that you won’t necessarily be there when he gets all his ducks in a row. You don’t actually have to tell him this; just continue to date other men. Some women confuse dating with intimate relationships and it is not that. Dating is an opportunity to meet other people to see if there is a chance that you could be compatible with each other. So if your “friend” doesn’t happen to be the one, don’t fret there are always opportunities to date other men.

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