Help, My Boyfriend Has Cheated On Me And Now He’s Angry With Me!

Dear Robyn,

My boyfriend has done some things reeking of infidelity that caused me to be distrustful of him and spy. I forgave him for his infidelity but he hasn’t forgiven me for spying. Also he has recently became very flippant with me. I want us to move past things and move forward. – Ex Spy

Dear Ex Spy,

I’m sorry to hear about the strife that is occurring in your relationship with your boyfriend. Infidelity or thoughts that it has occurred is something that is not easy to get over because it breaks the trust factor.

Trust is essential in healthy relationships and if you don’t feel that you can trust him, it’s going to make you crazy inside because you’re going to feel the need to control what he’s doing or prevent it from happening again.

There needs to be a serious conversation had about what you feel comfortable with and what’s going too far. Example: Is it ok for him to talk to female friends but not text them at 2 in the morning? This conversation needs to be had because your feelings are valid.

As far as him not forgiving you for spying, I would have a conversation with him when you are both calm. Tell him that you feel that he hasn’t forgiven you for spying and you want to know what it would take to get this issue resolved because you feel it is keeping your relationship stagnant. Allow him some time to respond, and see if what he says is reasonable.

If he is becoming more and more flippant as of late, I always suggest my favorite relationship technique that brings couples closer and that is giving him some space. Use this time to re-engage in some things you have interest in or find some things that are interesting to you.

Don’t be mean about it, just worry less about him and more about moving yourself forward.

You also really need to think about if he is being unkind in this relationship, is that something you really want?

But this question is up to you to answer. You are the only one who has the full details of your relationship.