The dating game is a tough. First, you have to meet the guy. Cue the girls night out. The dating apps. The dreaded blind date with your co-worker’s brother’s best friend. Then, you’ll likely have to endure many awkward first dates before you meet someone you’re remotely interested in. Finally, the wooing begins. When you finally do make that connection, you want to know it’s for real.
You feel butterflies and can imagine yourself someday walking down an aisle with your man. But when, and how, do you know when it’s official? And, how do you know how to get him to commit? Keep reading for tried-and-true tips on how to make a guy want a relationship with you.
Keep It Fun And Interesting
If you are wondering how to make him want a serious relationship, show him how fun life with you can, and will, be. Try different date ideas, even if it means cooking at home or working out together. Test out what “real life” together as a couple would be like. This is the best indicator of what a relationship would be like, for you and for him.
Especially when you are in the early stages of dating, make an effort to keep things interesting. Try a unique restaurant across town, and sample everything. Go to a funky art museum that pushes your limits of creativity. Wear the slinky dress.
Be Honest
If a commitment is what you’re after, honesty is the best policy. If you really see a future with your partner, tell him. It will feel good to get it off your shoulders, and the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll know if you have a shot.
You already know, deep down, how to make a guy want a relationship. Be honest about who you are and your past experiences. As bleak as it seems sometimes, there is someone out there who loves you for exactly who you are, flaws and all. If you want someone to truly commit to you, you want them to commit to the real you, not some too-perfect image that is hard to maintain once you cohabitate.
Compliment Him
While you are being honest, compliment him! Just like us, men love to hear that they look good. They love to hear that they smell good. They love to hear that their bachelor pad looks like it could be featured in Architectural Digest. Be genuine when you give him compliments (which should be easy if you’re really into him).
Use some investigative work to find out what makes him feel excited. Find out what his favorite food is, or something his grandma used to make when he was little, and try out the recipe. Actions speak louder than words, and you’ll likely get a fun date night and some good laughs out of it.
Laugh Together
The way to a man’s heart is through humor. Don’t take everything so seriously. Laugh together! Find a show or movie you both love and have a good belly-laugh together. Laugh at yourself if you do something embarrassing. Laughter brings people closer and releases endorphins. It also makes for good memories and stories to tell your grandkids.
On that note, show your full range of emotions together. Cry together. Express anger. Showing emotion is one of the most important parts of creating a healthy relationship. I can promise that you will be thankful later.
If you’re wondering how to get him to make it official, the best (and almost too-logical) answer is to be yourself – the you that has many thoughts, feelings, and emotions – for better or for worse.
Write Love Letters To Each Other
You’ll discover how to make a guy want a relationship when you can find little ways to make him think about you during the day. This secret is as old as time. As archaic as it seems, express yourself in the way that lasts forever, through your writing.
I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more romantic than a love letter, or even a note on his kitchen counter in the morning. As much as men try to hide their sensitive sides from us, they also love to feel admired. Try sneaking a postcard of a city you’ve visited into his work bag. It’ll make him smile mid-stressful-workday and (better yet) think of you.
Talk About The Small Things
When you’re talking about a forever together with someone, the little things are the big things. Talk about, and observe, things like – are you a cat or a dog person? What is your sleeping pattern; are you an early bird or a night owl? Are you a healthy eater? As silly as this seems, making connections about trivial, routine parts of your day can show true compatibility.
Prioritize His Friends And Family
As long as he is comfortable with it, forge a relationship with his friends and family. Make nice with the girlfriends of his best friends (even if they aren’t your favorite people on Earth). It will make his life with you seem more natural and will encourage him to include you in his plans.
Remember his parents’ birthdays and send thank-you notes if they have you over for dinner. These little gestures go a long way with Mom and Dad.
Invite him along to your family gatherings, too. See how he interacts with your most important people. Does he seem natural and comfortable, or is the interaction forced? If he intends on having a future with you, he will likely make a great effort with the people you love most.
Go Away On Vacation Together
Getting out of your routine and experiencing new things together can form a closer bond. Traveling together tells you a lot about a person and can help you both discern if the partnership is permanent.
Get him outside of his comfort zone. Share an experience you will never forget, like zip-lining through the jungle or skiing a challenging slope together. You can also learn a lot about each other when there is nothing to do. Try a relaxing beach vacation together. Do your vacation “styles” jive? Do you enjoy spending down time with only each other’s company?
Confide In Him
Tell him what’s going on in your life, how you feel, and your likes and dislikes. Tell him about your hard day at work. Better yet, ask him for advice. It will make him feel valued and useful. Engage in conversation with him about his hopes and goals for the future. Ask and answer hard questions.
Sharing your deeper feelings with your partner can be valuable to him in forming a more serious connection. For some people (like me, the oversharer), this is easy. For other, it takes a bit of tact and thought.
On that same note, general, open, two-way communication is never a bad thing. It will set the stage for a healthy relationship. Communicate, and be honest. Tell him that you’d like to be in a relationship. Tell him that he is important to you, and that you only want to date him. Tell him why you like him so much!
Don’t Pressure Him
After all is said and done, you’ve done your best to get him to commit. Don’t pressure him. Maybe there is a reason he isn’t ready. He could be nursing wounds from a past relationship, or maybe his parents were recently divorced, leaving him hesitant to believe in love. Give him time to digest the idea of dating you exclusively.
That being said, decide how long you will wait. There is a fine line between a casual, fun dating and avoidance. Make sure you are getting what you want and need form the partnership, and if you are unhappy without a solid commitment, it might be time to say goodbye.
Consider His Past Patterns
How much do you know about your guy’s past relationships? Of course, people change. But, does he have a reputation of being perpetually single? A womanizer? A commitment-phobe?
While you can hope for the best, you don’t want to spend effort wondering how to get a guy to commit when the answer is that he will never commit. Some men (and women) are just not interested in serious or committed relationships. Especially with the rise in popularity of dating apps, the new age of romance allows young adults to “play the field” for much longer than back in the days of yore.
Give him a fair shot, be honest about your feelings, and if he isn’t interested, don’t push it.
Leave a Reply