There comes a time in every woman’s life when she looks at a friend, maybe even a best friend, and thinks – is he the one? Do I want to be more than friends?
It’s a crazy thought that after all the bad dates and fooling around, maybe your perfect partner is right in front of you – right in your inner circle of friends. Maybe he is someone you already know and trust. Or, maybe he is someone you suddenly see in a different light.
It’s important to handle this sentiment with care – after all, there is a friendship at stake. You could end up with an awkward situation or damaged crew of friends if you don’t act carefully. But, the switch from friends to partners can be done – after all, isn’t it an age-old adage that you’re supposed to “marry your best friend?”
If you decide it’s time to make the move toward a romantic future, follow these steps to ensure you’re putting your best foot forward.
Be Confident
The best way to get any guy’s attention is to flaunt your confidence. It’s going to take a lot of guts to get out of the friend zone, so prepare yourself by believing in yourself.
Putting yourself out there in the dating world can be intimidating at the best of times. When you want to date one of your friends, it can be downright terrifying. Think about all of the positive attributes you bring to the table in a relationship. Your friend would be lucky to date you!
You may still be thinking, “But, how to make him want me more than a friend?” Practice self care and give yourself daily pep-talks. If you believe you’re awesome and worthy, other people will believe it too. Even if you don’t win the guy, you’ll reap the benefits of channeling your inner self-confidence.
Keep Some Mystery
When you’re talking to your crush as just your guy friend you might share more with him than you would as a potential romantic partner. Don’t treat him like one of the girls! Some things are better left unsaid – for example, the food poisoning you got from dinner last night, or your last visit to the gyno. Save the girl talk for the girls when you’re trying to “woo” a friend.
Be careful not to divulge too much, too soon – it might scare him away. For example, even though he may know a little bit about your past dating record, don’t overshare about the men of your past or why your previous relationships failed. Of course, this is a conversation you could have down the road once you are more seriously dating.
Don’t be afraid to be a little bit sultry. If he is always thought of you as a friend, he will need to think of you as a woman in order to be romantically attracted to you. An added plus – being mysterious can come off as being flirty, which will ultimately work in your favor.
Show Effort
If you want him to think of you as more than a friend, you’ll have to put forth some effort in your physical appearance. Be your best self. Work out, take a bath, do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel great.
Dress up for him! Dress in a way that flatters your body and shows off your personality. Take time getting ready when you know you’ll see him out. Wear your favorite pair of jeans that you know you look good in.
You can also show effort in your social life. Get together a group of friends (including him) for a weekly trivia night. Make sure he’s invited when your group of friends makes dinner plans. Better yet – host a dinner party at your house and invite your crush.
Use Body Language
You can show your crush you like him without ever saying a word. Lean in and make eye contact when he talks to make him feel like the center of your attention. Check out this article to find out subtle ways you can use non-verbal cues to tell him how you feel:
Your body language should tell him, “I want to be more than friends.” If you’re feeling brave, you could even try a flirty touch on his shoulder or rub his back when he says something funny. Try a subtle smile or even a wink in his direction.
Consider His Dating History
When you first have the thought, “I want us to be more than friends,” you may want to take some time to think about your crush’s dating history. Although he is not his past, it can give you insight into what kind of dater he is and whether you have a shot at making a romantic relationship work.
Does he have a reputation for being a player, or does he generally stay in committed relationships? Knowing his dating history could help you decide if it’s worth taking the leap to romance without getting your heart broken.
Don’t Talk About Other Men
When you’re around him in a group, don’t talk about dating or liking other guys. Make sure he knows that you’re available and not seeing anyone else.
Despite their unwillingness to admit it, men can be sensitive. If he hears you talking about going on dates, he might sense that he has competition and resist making the first move. He may also get the impression you’re just not interested in him if you’re constantly bringing other guys around or talking about previous dates.
Talk To Mutual Friends
The last thing you want to do is set yourself up for failure, or create a potentially awkward situation between you and your friend. Ask your friends what they think about the potential pair. Is he truly single and ready to date? Is he recently out of a relationship and on the rebound? Friends can serve as important sources of intel when you’re looking to take the leap out of the friend zone.
Talking to mutual friends could even help you discover if you’re compatible, too. What does he value? Do you have similar interests? More than likely, if your friend is supportive of the potential relationship, he/she will mention something to your crush.
Ask Him Out – Just The Two of You
If you normally hang out in group settings, try asking him out and mention that it will be just the two of you. You could invite him as your date to a wedding, or plan something slightly romantic, like a picnic in the park.
Capitalize on your shared interests or similarities. If you both love basketball, ask him out with an extra ticket to a college game! Suggest that you try a yoga class that you both like together. If the romantic gesture fails, you will still have a nice time together as friends.
Tell Him How You Feel
Most of the time, honesty is the best policy. If you really feel attracted to your friend, you may not be able to continue the friendship without getting it off your chest.
Try to ease into the conversation, but be direct. You don’t have to be as explicit as saying “I want to be more than friends,” but you might want to tell him you have a crush on him, or would love to hang out just the two of you. He may have noticed chemistry between you already, too. Click here to check out 14 clever signs that he’s into you, too:
Prepare For Rejection
Unfortunately, there is always the possibility of rejection. There can be serious complications and difficulties getting out of the friend zone.
If he isn’t interested, don’t allow things to become awkward between you. Stay confident and continue to value your friendship with him. Timing is everything and there could be a chance down the road that his feelings may change.
The friend zone is a tricky place from which to navigate toward a healthy, romantic relationship – but it can be done with some flirting, tactical moves and self-confidence.
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