A Friendly Kiss & Now I Love Him

Dear Robyn,

I have been in love with someone since the day I’ve met him.

It sounds corny and cliché but I know myself and my heart. I’ve never told him, though I’m sure he’s noticed.

He just started dating someone else. We are really great friends and hang out all the time so I brushed it off to enjoy our time together.

The other night we were hanging out as usual but he was flirting with me more than usual. He laid down beside me and for a while we were tangled up in each other, just lying there. He kissed me that night, on my cheeks, and forehead and then on my lips, not like a friend but passionately.

We’ve never been this close before and the entire night keeps running through my head over and over, like I’m reliving every second to feel our connection again.

He knows me very well and he knows better than to play with me, especially my emotions but I can’t help but think he thought of it as a friendly kiss. I feel like it was so much more but I won’t let myself believe it because I don’t want it to hurt if the truth comes out that it is not.

Any advice you have would help me so much Robyn.

Nadia

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Nadia,

Don’t fool yourself now! That does not sound like a friendly kiss. Whether he admits that he is into you or not, you guys shared an intimate moment.

The litmus test of friendly kisses: If you were dating someone and they kissed their best friend like he kissed you, would that be ok with you?

Now, since we have established the kiss at the very least was a little more than friendly you can plan your next moves.

Here’s what I would suggest:

Talk to him: Normally, I would suggest that after a kiss you let the guy take the lead and guide the relationship. I would suggest waiting until he called you.

In your case, I would actually recommend that you initiate a conversation with him about what happened, especially since he is dating someone else.

If you don’t say anything about the kiss, he will believe that it is ok to kiss you or touch you without having to give anything in return in form of a relationship or any explanation.

By not saying anything you are communicating that you are free for his advances whenever he’s feeling like “he wants to get to know you better”.

Tell him that you are a little confused about what happened that night, especially since he is seeing someone else.

Just ask point blank “What was that all about?”

Listen: Then listen to what he has to say. Don’t interrupt him just listen and he will most likely give you the answer to your question.

If you want to continue being friends you have to allow him to explain without punishing him for what he says.

He could say that he really likes you and he wants to start a relationship with you but he can also say that he doesn’t know what happened and he’s sorry that he misled you.

If you want to be a good friend you have to prepare yourself for either response.

If he says something to the effect that he made a mistake, then you should make it clear to him that it is not fair to you that he play with your emotions like that.

He should not be taking advantage of the fact that you are into him.

If he says in fact that he is interested in you, you have to take things slow. Besides the fact that he is already seeing someone and he would have to end the relationship,

You mentioned that it was love at first sight. I’m sorry Nadia, but I don’t believe at love at first sight. I do believe that you felt chemistry.

A lot of women get into huge trouble with believing that they have found their prince charming based on one interaction or just seeing him walk down the street.

Here’s why:

If you believe him to be the man who will provide everything you need in a relationship, you start giving like he is already providing everything you need.

You will always lose if you do this because the way a man becomes more interested in a woman is if he is the one giving and making her happy.

If you are super interested in him you don’t give him any room to pursue you and he will need that room in order for his attraction to grow.

If you find yourself in this situation or you are interested in a man and want to know how to close the deal, I highly recommend From Flirting To Forever by Kara Oh. Honesty, the best flirting techniques to attract a man and actually keep him that I have seen.

Have you ever been in a situation similar to this? What did you do? Post your comment below.