In Relationship Wilderness?

This past weekend I found myself feeling sorry for myself. And I debated a bit on whether I would share this personal story with you but in the end I felt that it would be more helpful to you and your relationships than me keeping my “nothing fazes me” persona.

I figured you needed to know the truth. And I believe society and the media does the world a great disservice when they don’t share real stories and what it actually takes to get to where you want to be.

Sometimes, honestly, it’s just not that easy. It takes a lot of inner focus and hard work.

So I’m going to start the change by sharing my story with you.

This past weekend I sat in my car and I yes, I cried.

But it was only for a moment.

I allow myself to release my frustrations, because I feel it’s a lot more dangerous to keep them bottled up inside.

And then I realized that I was in the wilderness! Are you in the wilderness? (Read more…)

What is the wilderness?

If you are religious or not you will appreciate this story. It’s the story of God bringing the Israelites out of Egypt where they were enslaved for years and bringing them to their promised land (a land that they would own and would no longer have to be slaves).

But God didn’t just fly them to their promised land, they had to walk through the wilderness (a very dry land) and TRUST. They had to believe that they could have the promised land.

Although God had promised them this land, they still had frustrations and had pity parties, probably similar to the one I was having in my car. They would say things like “It was better in Egypt, at least we had food to eat” or “It wasn’t that bad being a slave”.

Do you find yourself saying similar things to this? Looking back and thinking your past is better than your future?

“It was better when I was in the relationship with my ex boyfriend who wasn’t right for me, at least I had a date on the weekends” or “I should just stay in this unfufilling relationship, at least I won’t be lonely” or “I’m just going to date any man, it doesn’t matter how he treats me, it’s better than being alone”

If you find yourself having these thoughts or similar thoughts, you are probably in the wilderness, the in between point of where you have been and where you want to be.

In order to move from the “wilderness” to your “promised land” there are going to be a few things you will have to do:

1. Make a decision

You are going to have to make a decision of what you really want. No one can make this decision for you. If you know that you want a man who treats you well and that you connect with, you are going to have to sacrifice a bit. Be prepared, it might not be that easy but once you do meet your “promised” man he will be well worth the wait.

If you decide that the “promised” land is not for you and you are just happy with being in any relationship, that is also a decision but I don’t think it’s one that you will want to live with. This is because you will always wonder what would have happened if you had just trusted that you would be in a good relationship and made some little sacrifices.

So when I was in my car I made a decision, no matter how long it takes or how much hard work I have to do, I am going to get to where I want to be. I can’t promise that I won’t get frustrated again, and that’s not a promise you have to make either, but no matter how many times I fall, I’m utlimately going to get to where I want to be.

2. Believe

In order to meet your “promised” man you have to believe he’s out there. If you don’t believe that he even exists it’s going to be tough to walk through the wilderness.

Your belief has to be strong. What if you were Donald Trump’s daughter? Would you have any doubt that you would get a Christmas present?

That’s the type of belief you have to have when attracting the man that will be right for you, no doubt that it will eventually happen.

3. Keep moving and take some risks

Once you have made your decision and you have complete belief, it doesn’t stop there. You don’t get the luxury of sitting back and waiting. You have to keep moving.

Keep on doing things that are going to get you closer towards your goal. This may be a conscious effort at smiling at more men when you pass them or working out and eating right so you can feel better about yourself.

You may even have to risk being hurt a few times to finally meet your right man, but it’s all part of the wilderness.

What separates the people who get what they want and those who don’t is that the ones who are committed know that they will fall sometimes, but they keep on moving in spite of it! (I know this video is male dominated, but I feel you will find the message VERY inspiring!)

So keep on moving to you reach your promised land or man:)

What do you think? Are you in the wilderness? Comment below.