Men lose interest all the time. It’s a fact. One day they are completely into you and the next day you’re wondering what you did wrong to make him become so distant. It’s natural for men to pull away a little, whether you are first dating or even if you have been in a relationship for a while.
You want to avoid taking this and micro analyzing your relationship, which can cause even further distance between you. Instead, use these 3 targeted strategies to bring him back where he should be, with you.
Used effectively, these strategies will serve the purpose of not only getting him to become interested again, but will have him wanting you even more, because you will be operating differently than most women he has ever dated.
Before I get into 3 things you can do to keep your man interested, I want to share with you one of the biggest mistakes women make when their man starts to lose interest and become more distant.
When he starts calling, texting, and contacting you less, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to start a campaign proving to him that you are still interested in him. This means calling him more, sending sweet texts about how much you miss him, or any other number of things you may do to show him that you are still interested.
Don’t do this, this will most definitely cause him to pull away even further and maybe even stop all contact with you all together.
One strategy to move him towards stronger interest is the complete opposite of this method.
1. Give Him Some Space
The best thing to do when he starts to pull back a little is to allow him his space. Trust me, I know this is tough but it this strategy works so well and I still use it with my husband to direct his attention back to me.
Allowing a man his space actually helps him to draw closer to you.
If you can’t seem to get him off your mind during this time, plan time with your family and friends or do something you enjoy doing to keep your mind off him.
Implemented correctly, this strategy is extremely effective.
The next strategy is more of a warning flag of what not to do. If you are doing this, eliminating this type of talk about yourself will help draw him closer to you.
2. Eliminate the Negative Self Talk
Sometimes you may get in the habit of putting yourself down. For instance, you might share with your boyfriend that you think that your thighs are huge or that you can’t believe that you said something so stupid. Putting yourself down does not benefit anyone, it makes you look less self confident and your boyfriend feel really uncomfortable.
If you need to vent, call up one of your girlfriends for a quick pick me up. Excessively talking about your perceived defects makes him start to believe you.
One of the things that attracts us to other human beings is their confidence in themselves. No one wants to be on a losing team or a team that doesn’t believe they can win.
The last strategy involves diversifying your life, so he maintains his strong level of interest.
3. Diversify Your Life
This is most important, if you want to keep your man interested, be sure not to depend on him solely for your happiness. This can be difficult if you find that you enjoy spending time with him.
You don’t want to become needy, depending on him for all your enjoyment. So you have to work hard at developing other areas of your life to maintain some balance.
When you are needy you put a lot of unwanted pressure on him. So have fun with your friends, go out with your family. Don’t make it a habit of canceling dates with friends or family because your man wants to see you. Make him work around your schedule, he will be happy that you have more on your plate than just him.
love this….so insightful
I have been seeing this guy for a little over 10 months. He was amazing in the beginning. I made the mistake of letting him, move in with me, because he had no where else to go. We get our own place. About 6 months in, he starts to pull away. I, of course do everything wrong. I heard him say to his brother, she loves me like I’ve always wanted, and it’s to much. He tells/told me, “Your mouth is so disrespectful” I try my hardest to fix it. I’m good until he upsets me, then I loose it. He hardly ever comes home, he hardly ever tells me he loves me and recently we aren’t having $ex. He tells me, he can’t stay around me to long because I’m negative and needy. Plus I tell him all the time I know he has someone else. I feel he is ready to leave, I don’t want him to, but at the same time, I also don’t want him to stay if he’s unhappy. I have bought several online relationship programs. None seem to work. I just want to walk away. If I leave, my 4 children and I won’t have a car, or a place to live. Please help me. Cause I don’t know what to do. Hopelessly Crazy
Hi Steh,
Sorry to hear about your situation. It seems like this relationship has run it’s course. It’s impossible to go back and change things, but I would suggest in the future to wait on allowing someone to move in with you until they have made a clear commitment. Someone not having a place to live is not a good reason to move in together. The solution for that would be him getting a roommate or living with relatives or friends.
Now that you are in this situation, all is not lost. Since there are children involved, the best thing is to provide a healthy and safe environment for the kids. Can you discuss with him the possibility of him moving out within a few months? Is there a relative or friend that would be willing to allow you and your children to live with them temporarily? Not having adequate resources is not a good reason to stay with someone.
I would suggest trying to create an amicable relationship with him until either one of you can move out. It may be best to be friends at this point until you can get your living situation together. Work on being friends now, until you can live apart and at that point if you want to revisit being in a relationship, then do it with a clean slate.