It’s common for women to find themselves thinking, “My boyfriend has no time for me because of work.” It’s no secret that today’s professional world is cut-throat and demanding. According to the American Sociological Review, around 70% of Americans today struggle to find a realistic balance between work and personal life.
There is more pressure than ever on men (and women) to provide for themselves and their families. The business world sometimes turns into a competition of who can spend more hours at the office, and bosses seem to value quantity of time worked rather than quality of work produced. The lack of work/life balance in today’s working world can leave us feeling unfulfilled in our relationships and yearning for more attention from our partners.
How can we keep this imbalance from affecting our romantic relationships? Keep reading for expert tips on how to keep your relationship a priority for your workaholic partner.
3 Bulletproof Ways! Read this article by clicking on the link below:
Could It Be A Phase?
Don’t panic. The first question I ask myself when my boyfriend doesn’t make time for me is could this be a phase in our relationship? Some periods of time are just busier than others. Whether it’s work, school, or family obligations, these things seem to come in phases.
Maybe your man is up for a promotion or working on a demanding project at work. Despite long hours and weekends at work, it is healthy to have professional aspirations that may take dedication. If this is the case, there could be an end in sight. Try taking an interest in your partner’s work. Ask questions about what is he working on and what his professional goals are. This way, you can have a better idea of when he will have more time to give.
Does your partner have a lot on his plate outside of work? Maybe he’s using work as an escape from other things that are stressing him out. Many men (and women!) throw themselves into their work when they are handling stress.
Be Your Own Best Friend
A good friend of mine once told me that the best advice he ever got was to be your own best friend. I think this is one of the most underrated (and best) pieces of advice I ever got, and it really stuck with me throughout some hard relationship moments.
But what does it mean, to be your own best friend? Let’s be real. In order to have a healthy and happy relationship, the person you need to love the most is yourself. Instead of focusing on the thought, “My boyfriend has no time for me because of work,” figure out what you like and what is important to you. The happiness and confidence you feel with your newfound “best friend” will likely make you more attractive to your man.
Spend the “alone time” cultivating your most important relationship – the one you have with yourself. Pick up an online class in something that interests you. Develop your own passions and professional network. Explore self-care and experiment with doing things by yourself – Dining or seeing a movie alone is one of the scariest, yet most invigorating experiences. Create a life you love and feel totally comfortable with.
17 Signs You Might Be a Workaholic
Read this article by clicking on the link below:
Talk It Out
Before you jump to conclusions, like “My boyfriend never wants to spend time with me,” consider your partner’s career choice. Make your concerns and wishes known, but be reasonable. Maybe the lack of time spent together is bothering him, too, but the only way to know is to ask.
If your boyfriend truly has a demanding or
high-pressure job, it might (unfortunately) be part of the deal for right now. What does a typical career path in his field look like? Will he “pay his dues” and then be able to back off on the hours, or is it a permanent situation?
Talk to him about his stress levels and how you can help him decompress at the end of a long day. If warranted, help your partner explore other career options that could transfer his skills to a more balanced life. If work-life balance is important to you and not to your partner, it might be a lifestyle difference that will cause lasting problems.
Manage Your Expectations
Communication is key to managing expectations. Unfortunately, much of adulthood is spent at work, making it critical to find a career that satisfies you, too! If you are expecting your stock broker boyfriend to be home by 5:00 p.m. every day, you’re setting yourself up for failure! Be realistic and communicate with your partner about realistic limits to place on their time spent at work.
Check out the following article for signs that your partner is only committed to his work:
Check out the following tips on how to deal with a partner who is truly a workaholic:
Check in with your man. Make sure he doesn’t have unrealistic expectations about his own work. He doesn’t have to be the first one in and last one out of the office every day in order to get his promotion. Encourage him to foster relationships with mentors and people who can help ground him.
If you’re still thinking, “My boyfriend has no time for me because of work,” he could really be a workaholic. It might be worth consulting a psychologist or therapist to create healthy habits and work/life balance.
Be Efficient: Set Routines And Priorities
What tasks are your partner and you spending too much time on? How can you can make the mundane more efficient? Use Amazon or PeaPod to have groceries delivered instead of spending time at the grocery store. Hire someone to clean your shared space every two weeks. Try to minimize or alleviate the time-consuming tasks that distract from the precious time you do have together. The time you win back with your partner could be worth the money.
Before I acquiesce to thinking my boyfriend doesn’t spend time with me anymore, I like to set some routines that allow for daily, or even weekly, interaction. For example, wake up 30 minutes earlier so you can go to the gym or have coffee together. Meet at your favorite bar for happy hour on Fridays. Get in a habit of going for a 10 minute walk around the block every night after dinner (and consider even leaving your phones at home!). Take a romantic bath together at the end of the day to get clean and unwind!
Set aside time together that is non-negotiable. Block off time for uninterrupted togetherness. Is it really important to you that you relax together on Sundays and catch up on your favorite show? Let him know that! Carve out time, especially on the weekends, to prioritize time spent together.
You can use technology to feel “together” even when you aren’t really together. If your partner is on a business trip, try FaceTiming with him before bed so you feel like you’re together. Texting during the day is another great option to stay in touch and in sync without physically being in the same room.
Practice Work/Life Balance Together
Introduce him to things he might like to do outside of work. Be thoughtful and intentional! Check out this article on the importance of work/life balance for both you and your partner:
MUST READ: Importance of work/life balance for both you and your partner
Show him that there are exciting parts of life that don’t revolve around work. Maybe he would like to go together to see his favorite college basketball team play. Plan a vacation together somewhere that interests him. Finding a vacation spot with physical activities you can do together will help him to really separate from work (hiking, biking, sailing, etc.). Sometimes it takes a few days of really “unplugging” helps to see what you are missing in everyday life.
On a more scientific note, the lack of work/life balance could have a profound negative affect on your and your partner’s mental health. It’s important to be able to find joy in things that are not financially compensated. For example, exercising has high physical reward that heighten mood and ultimately improves work performance, too!
Accept Him For Who He Is
Some people simply thrive on busy schedules. Maybe your partner stays organized by keeping busy. There are worse things in life than having a partner who is interested in and motivated by their career. If you truly love him, you might want to consider allowing him to flourish in his career. On the same token, accept yourself for who you are and what you want in a partner. If the busy lifestyle isn’t for you, it might be time to find someone who has similar life goals.
Try to be patient as you travel through the cycles of life and talk to your partner about what role he wants his girlfriend to play in his busy lifestyle. You both deserve to be who you are and find happiness in the right partner.
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