Search Results for: win him back

How to Keep a Man Interested: 3 Bulletproof Ways

Men lose interest all the time. It’s a fact. One day they are completely into you and the next day you’re wondering what you did wrong to make him become so distant. It’s natural for men to pull away a little, whether you are first dating or even if you have been in a relationship for a while.

You want to avoid taking this and micro analyzing your relationship, which can cause even further distance between you. Instead, use these 3 targeted strategies to bring him back where he should be, with you.

Used effectively, these strategies will serve the purpose of not only getting him to become interested again, but will have him wanting you even more, because you will be operating differently than most women he has ever dated.

Before I get into 3 things you can do to keep your man interested, I want to share with you one of the biggest mistakes women make when their man starts to lose interest and become more distant.

When he starts calling, texting, and contacting you less, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to start a campaign proving to him that you are still interested in him. This means calling him more, sending sweet texts about how much you miss him, or any other number of things you may do to show him that you are still interested.

Don’t do this, this will most definitely cause him to pull away even further and maybe even stop all contact with you all together.

One strategy to move him towards stronger interest is the complete opposite of this method.

1. Give Him Some Space

The best thing to do when he starts to pull back a little is to allow him his space. Trust me, I know this is tough but it this strategy works so well and I still use it with my husband to direct his attention back to me.

Allowing a man his space actually helps him to draw closer to you.

If you can’t seem to get him off your mind during this time, plan time with your family and friends or do something you enjoy doing to keep your mind off him.
Implemented correctly, this strategy is extremely effective.

The next strategy is more of a warning flag of what not to do. If you are doing this, eliminating this type of talk about yourself will help draw him closer to you.

2. Eliminate the Negative Self Talk

Sometimes you may get in the habit of putting yourself down. For instance, you might share with your boyfriend that you think that your thighs are huge or that you can’t believe that you said something so stupid. Putting yourself down does not benefit anyone, it makes you look less self confident and your boyfriend feel really uncomfortable.

If you need to vent, call up one of your girlfriends for a quick pick me up. Excessively talking about your perceived defects makes him start to believe you.

One of the things that attracts us to other human beings is their confidence in themselves. No one wants to be on a losing team or a team that doesn’t believe they can win.

The last strategy involves diversifying your life, so he maintains his strong level of interest.

3. Diversify Your Life

This is most important, if you want to keep your man interested, be sure not to depend on him solely for your happiness. This can be difficult if you find that you enjoy spending time with him.

You don’t want to become needy, depending on him for all your enjoyment. So you have to work hard at developing other areas of your life to maintain some balance.

When you are needy you put a lot of unwanted pressure on him. So have fun with your friends, go out with your family. Don’t make it a habit of canceling dates with friends or family because your man wants to see you. Make him work around your schedule, he will be happy that you have more on your plate than just him.

6 Hacks for Flirting With Men (3 Absolute Don’ts Included)

3 Ways Women Flirt That Actually Turn Men Off | 6 Steps To Doing It Right!

Flirting with men is really simple, but only if you know how to do it effectively.

There is a lot of inaccurate information about flirting circulating around and you don’t want to get caught up in the “quick fixes” of flirting. Quick fixes involve being confident and just asking the guy out (I’ll get to why this doesn’t work), wearing seductive clothing (you’ll get him but for a short time only), and playing hard to get (if you really aren’t hard to get, he’ll figure it out).

I’m not here to teach you any black hat techniques that use trickery or seduction to get a guy to ask you out. These techniques only work for a short time. But if you are looking for some solid, organic (real:) methods to flirt that flat out work and last long term, you’ll want to read on.

6 Steps To Flirting the Right Way

Tip #1: Do you have this?

Alright, I have to be very honest with you on this point. It will be very hard to complete this flirting technique if you don’t feel good about yourself. It will be necessary to have confidence when flirting because through your smile a man can sense nervousness and how you feel about yourself. You want to give off the vibe that you are comfortable in your own skin and that you are a “prize” to be won.

Another reason why you will have to have confidence is because every man you smile at will not smile at you back. Maybe he is married, maybe he is in a serious relationship, maybe he is just not that interested, maybe he’s gay, maybe you didn’t notice his girlfriend walking directly behind him. The possibilities are endless.

And that is ok, when you have confidence you understand that you are still a bombshell and obviously him not smiling back is a problem of his and not yours.

Tip #2: At your best

It’s just a fact, the better you look the better you will feel about yourself. The more comfortable you are the more relaxed you will be. When you are walking around in clothes you don’t feel good in, it will be difficult to flirt. Have you ever noticed that your attitude changes depending on what you are wearing. That is why schools make kids wear uniforms, because putting them in that dress says it is time to work. That is why people where business suits, when you are dressed in that way you know it’s time to work.

So when you are flirting you want to feel sexy and feminine while still being completely comfortable. This doesn’t mean going out and buying new clothes it just means looking the best you can.

Mega Tip: Men love women who wear dresses and skirts. Because not a lot of women wear these outfits nowadays. Men like women because they are women. They love to see curves and legs. That’s what makes you different from them. This doesn’t mean dressing with all your assets out. It just means looking nice and feminine.

Tip #3: What’s your decision?

The first part of this flirting technique is deciding who you want to flirt with. If you want you can go ahead and choose the easy target at first. But eventually you will have to choose the man you really want. You don’t want to make it a habit of flirting with guys you have not interest in. You run the risk of confusing the man since you clearly gave him the “green light” and go ahead.

Tip #4: Catch him

When you decide which guy you want to flirt with, you will need to catch his eye. Give him some eye contact while giving him a warm smile. The smile should say “welcome”. Be careful not to grin or cheese. You want him to know that this smile is specifically for him. Hold eye contact with your warm smile for a good 3-5 seconds. I know this may seem like a long time, but you want it to be obvious that this smile is for him.

Tip #5: Look Away

Next you will have to look away slightly. Either tilt your head down a bit or look at something else briefly, not your watch. This should be done for a couple of

seconds and then look up again and give him another smile. If he is really interested he is probably already interested in you.

Tip #6: Let him lead

The final part is probably the hardest. When he approaches you, let him lead the conversation. Let him do the talking. Let him ask you for your contact information. Trust that he will know the right things to say.

This technique works time and time again for women.

Flirting Really Isn’t Difficult

Flirting is not all that difficult to do if your ONLY goal is to get the guy to come over and talk to you. Just flash him a warm smile and if he’s into you he’ll come over and talk to you, period. But what really hurts is attracting him and not knowing how to talk to him when he approaches you, not knowing how to have an effective teasing conversation on the phone so that he automatically asks you out, and not knowing what to do and say on dates when you go out to make him want to call you back.

The Flirting Technique That Has Worked Time & Time Again

I’ve always been interested in how people meet and it’s not uncommon for me to ask someone how they met their mate.

I remember a time when I asked my granddad how he met my grandmother. His answer was really straight-forward and simple. He told me that a lot of women smiled at him but when my grandmother smiled at him, he smiled back.

And when he told me this, I really have to admit I thought he was kind of crazy, it couldn’t be that simple to meet someone. I had tried for years to attract the type of man I wanted without avail.

As I began delving deeper into relationships and actually helping thousands of women with their relationship issues I found very early on why this technique worked for grandma.

You see, my grandmother wasn’t the type of woman to turn heads, she wasn’t super skinny or super attractive. She didn’t wear the latest trends nor was she super sociable. She was just an average woman who knew an extraordinary secret. Maybe by accident or maybe she knew what she was doing.

My grandfather on the other hand was actually a very handsome man. He was very fit and and unlike my grandmother, he did turn a lot of heads. A lot of women most likely threw themselves at him to no avail because at the end my grandmother got the ring.

But what is amazing is how my grandmother’s simple flirting technique actually works as well as it did back then as it does today. See, I’m kind of like my grandmother, not super attractive, not really sociable either, although some might disagree. And the thing about it is I like a lot of men who are “out of my league”. I like men with muscles and an attractive face although you could probably search for hours on me and not find one trace of a muscle. I also like men that dress nice although I could probably count the number of “nice” outfits I have in my wardrobe on one hand.

So one day I just decided to mess around and flirt. The first time was in a coffee shop. I said if I’m going to put myself out there I’m going big. Go big or go home, right? So I saw this attractive man in a suit come into the coffee shop. I looked him in his eyes and gave him the warmest smile. He looked at me and gave a flirtatious smile back. I didn’t implement the second part of the flirting technique that causes a man to approach you because I was in a relationship but it amazed me at how great it worked. A simple smile and this tough man in a business suit who walked into the coffee shop was rendered defenseless with my smile.

Since then, I’ve done it a couple more times, without the second part of course and found it to work time and time again.

Why is this?

Well, you have more power than you think as a woman. With a simple smile, done the right way, you melt a man’s heart. He becomes sort of defenseless and you get into the heart of a man. Really it seems kind of unfair because once you effectively catch his eye he really can’t help the actions that follow. He will want to approach you and see you again. He won’t want to miss the opportunity.

You see, a lot of women go through the day not making eye contact with men, let alone smiling because of low self confidence or they feel they need to do more to flirt. But flirting is simple. You can modify this technique for whatever situation you are in. You can use it at work, while at a nightclub, or even at a library.

Allowing the man to approach you starts a relationship the right way because he is doing the pursuing. A lot of relationships fail because the woman is trying to pull the relationship along by trying to “convince” a man why she is right for him. It just doesn’t work. Men will always want to be the one who pursues and most likely be turned off by women who throw themselves at them.

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Two Behaviors That Cause Men To Pull Away

Two things that will cause good men to pull away after initially being interested:

Guest Post by James Taylor

Neediness

You will appear needy to a man if you seem overly nervous or tense when you are in his presence, or alternatively if he feels that you are trying hard not to screw things up and are desperate for him to like you.

What these things tell a man is that the relationship means too much to you.

As a woman, you have probably been in the situation where you had the “Uh-oh” response to a guy who was obviously too into you, too early. This is exactly what I’m talking about here, but in reverse.

The appearance of being needy is often the outward manifestation of an inward condition, in which you feel lack in your life and need a man to come and rescue you (eg. by taking away your loneliness, making you happy and giving you security).

The thing is that you often don’t even have to verbalize this neediness as it can come out in your facial expressions, body language and actions (eg. as nervousness and desperation as I have just mentioned).

On the other hand, people who are not needy come across as a lot cooler. They seem more relaxed and less concerned as to whether things work out with a potential partner. They certainly don’t depend on this or any other relationship working out for them as they already have a good life and don’t need any other person to make them happy.

I have a saying that I’ve come up with, which is the following: “You are only ready for a relationship when you don’t need one.”

When you have no need in your life and come from a place primarily of giving and trying to enlarge another person (as a parent does with their child), you will appear very attractive. [But don’t make the crucial mistakes of giving in order to get or giving too much up front, otherwise things won’t go well for you.]

And if you find someone else who is coming from a similar place (don’t settle for anything less, otherwise you will end up being used by guys) with whom you have a lot of common beliefs, values and aspirations in life, this is the basis of a loving relationship that is going to last for many, many years.

This is because there are then two compatible people who are already complete and whole human beings, who are seeking only to give their unique gifts to each other and help the other person grow and live to their potential.

There will therefore be a healthy balance between giving and receiving, lots of love is likely to flow, and everyone will happy. The two people complement each other such that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts (ie. it is a win/win scenario).

However, people who are genuinely needy are a drain because they are usually trying to get a lot more than they actually give, and their needs are always paramount. And when these needs are consistently not met they will often blame their partner or act like a child (eg. have tantrums).

When you appear needy to a guy, he feels that if he develops a relationship with you, you will end up suffocating him in life. In other words, he thinks that instead of it being a win/win relationship it is will be a lose/win one – with him being the one to lose.

If you are feeling needy at the moment, the way to stop being needy is to work on your own self-esteem and take responsibility for your life. Make the decision to like who you are and create an amazing life for yourself that does not rely on having a man around to support you in any way.

The paradox of this is that once you don’t need a man in your life, men will invariably turn up from nowhere and offer you everything you could ever want. This is why people sometimes say that you are more likely to find someone when you’re not looking for anyone.

Having a Strong Agenda

The second big thing that can make guys pull away is the woman appearing to have a strong agenda right from the get-go. This can take the form of things like marriage, children, living an extravagant lifestyle, or her being a very inflexible person (everything is “my way or the highway”).

For example, women who are ready to settle down and start a family as soon as possible can turn a lot of guys off.

This does not mean that most men never want to marry a woman and have kids – the majority of men do want to have a family. But they want to do when they’re ready, rather than feel pressured into it.

Furthermore, they don’t want to feel that they are being used. They want a woman to actually love them for who they are, not just what they can do for her (be a means to fulfill her agenda).

What a strong agenda means to a man is that he is going to forced to sacrifice his dreams and desires in life for what the woman wants. Obviously, this would not be too appealing.

In addition to this, men are far more attracted to women who are laidback and just want to have fun, which is a much more feminine way of viewing the world.

What I teach women is that one of the most effective ways to attract masculine men is by just being a feminine woman (since the feminine attracts the masculine and vice versa). [If you would like to learn more about being a feminine woman who is highly attractive to men, please check out my article, “How to Be Sexy” ]

But being goal-oriented (having an agenda) is a masculine way of operating, rather than a feminine one; and therefore it is not going to help you been seen as attractive to highly masculine men.

Okay, I understand that everything I’m saying here may sound a bit unfair, as though the man is forcing the woman to fit his agenda (while not allowing her to have one of her own).

But a better way to look at this is that for a mutually beneficial and fulfilling relationship to exist, both people need to get what they want out of it. [Ideally, there will be a lot of common wants if the man and woman are compatible with each other.]

Also, we must keep in mind that it is not romantic to approach the beginning of a relationship as though you are negotiating some business deal.

This applies to a man too; he should not be bringing a strong agenda to the table either – otherwise you’re probably going to be turned off him as well.

For example, when a man displays the clear agenda of only wanting to get laid, many women would end the relationship right there (and rightfully so).

[Incidentally, sleeping with a guy early on is also a big reason why men pull away after only a few dates. This is because either sex was all they wanted (they leave once they achieve that goal), or they don’t view you as special since you gave up the most intimate part of yourself too easily.]

Right, so my advice is to relax any strong agenda that you may have and focus more on being a fun person who has a lot to give a man. Even if for example you want a child and don’t have a lot time left, it is going to be counterproductive to push such an agenda hard – men are just going to run.

This of course doesn’t mean that you have to completely hide what you most want out of a relationship – there will be time to discuss the more important things a bit further down the track (without being pushy).

Putting It All Together

There are obviously a lot of similarities and crossover between neediness and presenting a strong agenda, as they both relate to having a focus on what you can get out of a relationship as opposed to what you can give.

The main difference between the two of them however is that neediness relates to needs and a strong agenda relates more to a person’s wants.

The bottom line though is that you don’t want to come across as trying to get too much from a relationship with a man, otherwise you will not appear so attractive and there is a very good chance he will pull away. It is far better to be seen more as a giver rather than a taker.

Therefore, I suggest that you work on developing a great life of your own which doesn’t depend on having a man around. And also when you are dating, learn to relax a bit more and just enjoy the process of meeting new guys without bringing too many expectations to the table.

Once you get to this place, you are then going to start hooking really great guys and will have the new problem of making a decision as to which one you like the most and want to continue seeing!

About our Guest Poster:

James is a dating and relationships author and coach who specializes in teaching women how to attract the man of their dreams, make him fall madly in love, and then keep him interested over the long haul. He runs a website Attract Men Easily which provides cutting-edge information on these topics.

The Answer To All Your Man Problems

Alright, maybe I went a little bit overboard on the title but what I’m about to share with you is extremely important in relationships and attraction. If you don’t know how to do this properly, it will be very difficult for you to keep the attraction going in a new relationship or even a more seasoned one.

This concept that I’m about to share is so simple, yet so extremely effective. It’s extremely effective – no it’s not a typo, it’s just that important that I had to repeat it twice.

Here it goes…

The following technique is so vital to relationship success that if you completely ignore it, you WILL be labeled as “needy” or “easy”.

Neither term is flattering.

Last week, I actually received an email from a woman thanking me because she had used this technique effectively to bring attraction back into her relationship.

After she had implemented it in her dating life, the guy she was dating took her out to a nice restaurant and created a very romantic evening for her. But the kicker is – he didn’t even live in the same state as her.

What would cause a man to travel across state lines and wine and dine a woman he is dating?

Ok, as I’m writing, I’m thinking of a couple of things that would make a man do that, BUT that wasn’t the reason.

He did it because she implemented the following technique effectively.

It’s simple, it’s called space.

She gave him space.

I remember her contacting me in frustration telling me how the guy she was dating was into her one minute and then when she reciprocated what she felt, he would pull back a little.

If you dated anyone for some time, you know that this happens, even when you are in the relationship with the person.

I actually recommended a book to her that explained how to pull back effectively. It’s one by Sherry Argove, Why Men Love *itches. Most libraries and bookstores carry it, but if you want to read it I suggest you check out or buy yours now, this information gets sent to a lot of women.

He Was Flattered At First…Now He’s Pulling Away

I feel like I’ve been chasing a guy, at first he seemed flattered but now he’s pulling away. How do I get a guy to be interested in me again?

This is a great question! I talk about chasing and pursuing in my 10 lesson mini course. This is because I feel that it is vital in attraction and continued attraction.

It may be hard to do this, but the best thing you can do is take some time and focus on yourself. It may seem by not continuing to pursue him that he won’t know that “you like him”. This is not true. One of the mistakes that women make in dating and relationships is believing if they aren’t continuously showing a man that they “like him” or that they are “into him” than he will lose interest. This is what is effective with women, not men.

As women, we like for a man to continuously chase and show his affection for us. Men are different in that respect, if you continuously do these things for men, HE WILL LOSE INTEREST, no matter how interested he was at first.

Another thing that gets in our way of bringing the attraction back is the idea that “I don’t want to play games”. It’s not playing games, it’s doing what is effective. If you want to lose weight, it’s a known fact that you have to exercise. Because you really DON’T want to exercise or you don’t “feel” like doing it, are you playing games to lose weight? Heck no, you’re doing what’s effective. So here is what’s effective at bringing his attraction back IF he liked you in the beginning.

Focus more on yourself and the things you like to do. Don’t change your schedule for him and don’t interrupt what you are doing to accommodate him. I personally have a TV show that I love to watch and anyone short of the President or the actual people in the show coming into my living room to meet me would get completely ignored.

Allow him to be the one to pursue. Don’t call him or “accidentally” run into him. It may take a couple of weeks, but when he contacts you again his attraction will be stronger and you would have cooled down a bit because you have been too involved in your own life to think about him. This works amazingly.

He’s With Her But He Say’s He Wants A Relationship With Me

I have had a crush on a man for many years now. We actually dated briefly some years ago, but things didn’t work out.

After our relationship, he got married, but we still remained friends. Things started to go downhill with his marriage and he told me that when he got his divorce that he wanted me in his life.

I got really excited because it was like a dream come true.

He did divorce his wife and now he is in another relationship (not with me) and claims that he is in love and is ready to remarry.

I have doubts about this relationship because he still calls me and talks about our attraction to each other and sends flirty text messages and asks for pictures of me.

He’s currently out of state on work and I want to do as much as I can to bring his heart closer to me before he comes back and into the arms of his new woman.

I’m thinking I should send a daily email to remind him how I feel about him, but I feel I’ve already done all I can.

What would you suggest I do?

Guest Poster: Marvin Barrett

Marvin helps single women identify and avoid dating non-committal men and find their Mr. Right. He coaches women to identify the best places to meet the right men for them, read the signals men display when uncommitted and how to attract the right guy to approach them. Learn how to meet and find the right man for you.

This man is testing you to the hill and if you can’t see that then you’re in big trouble.

He is basically seeing whether he could still have you if he wanted and you are playing right into his little trap.

I don’t want to invalidate the feelings you have for this man because what you feel is probably real and comes from a sincere place but I gotta tell ya…

Leave this situation alone or pay the price later.

I believe you’re probably worth more but you are selling yourself short here and I think this man probably doesn’t value you enough to want to marry you. He wants to marry some other woman but not you. So regardless of the doubts you have about him remarrying, he’s not made you his number one. Instead, he wants pictures and flirty messages, he sees you as fun.

Let’s break this down for a second.

1. You dated briefly in the past but didn’t work out. (Cool, no problem here, these things happen)

2. Then he got married and after problems in his marriage, he got divorced. (Again, not a major problem, unless his wife divorced him because he cheated!)

3. After his divorce he told you he wanted you in his life. (Whatever that means!!! Where’s the ring for you? BIG PROBLEM HERE.)

4. Then you get excited because he was available again and describe this as a dream come true (fair enough, it’s understandable, no problem)

5. Following his divorce, he gets into ANOTHER relationship (not with you, although he had the option to) and plans to REMARRY. (Put another ring on another woman’s finger despite he’s pledge that he wants you in his life. He may say he wants you in his life but he sure doesn’t want to marry you.)

Can you see the problem here?

This man isn’t serious about you in the way that you are about him. I want you to GET this because if you continue entertaining this man, you’re going to get hurt.

After his divorce, he could have got with you, after all, he said he wanted you in his life but his actions tell a complete different story – he’s marrying another woman but wants you to send him sexy pictures of you -if the alarm bells aren’t ringing right now, they should be.

You’re falling for the sweet words and flirty text and picture messaging. You’re falling in love with the idea of being in love and that’s not good.

This man is running game on you and you need to see it for what it is.

This man just told you he’s in love and plans to remarry but sends you flirty texts and requests pictures of you…and you really WANT that to be your man? It’s up to you.

You need to see yourself being worth more and more deserving than that. This guy will never see you in the way you deserve because if he did, he would be backing up his words with actions (i.e. remarrying with you, not another woman)

Two words…..move on.

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