3 Guaranteed Ways To Turn Your Husband On

The husband: check. The career: check. The house: check. The family: check. Raise a glass to yourself, you’ve gone and got it all. But alas, the day-to-day grind is starting to take its toll. The intimate snuggles on the couch have become few and far between. The sweaty and sensual sex is a distant memory. And the big comfy knickers seem to multiply daily in your underwear drawer.

But this is not the end—not by a long shot.

Every now and then, it’s time to take the pinny off, pick the prosecco up and inject a bit of va va voom back into the relationship.

And it’s easier than you may think! If you’re wondering how to turn your husband on or how to make your husband want you, these three ideas are about creating anticipation, communicating what you both want and feeling confident enough to enjoy your connection.

1. Build Anticipation

Who wants to just get it over and done with? Where’s the fun in that? Half the fun is the arousal. Building anticipation can give both of you something to look forward to and create a little excitement outside the bedroom.

Be as bold as you dare; you are your own person. Start small and work your way up.

Why not try slipping a note into his pocket before he goes to work saying that you think the two of you should put the kids to bed early that night. If you’re feeling particularly daring, tell him that you’ve got some very sexy underwear that you obviously need his assistance in removing. A playful message can keep the anticipation going until you’re together again.

If dirty messages aren’t your style, start with just a touch. A little affection or flirtation—a slow finger trace down his chest, a flirty squeeze of the top of his thigh, a cheeky bum grab—can make your interest pretty clear, as long as that kind of touch is welcome between you.

It’s often said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but food can also turn a boring night in front of the TV into something more playful. Play around with what food you can have the most fun with—etiquette is not always required, nor wanted.

Everyday life can seem hectic, and sometimes all you need to do is take your time. Enjoy the moment. Take in every part of him and revel in your partnership. That connection and appreciation can be just as important as the flirting itself.

If foreplay is something usually saved for birthdays, make a little extra effort to include it more often in your sex life. This will not only be extremely pleasurable, but make the whole sexual experience last longer and give you more time to enjoy being together.

Every person is different and you know your husband better than anyone else. The point isn’t to follow a formula guaranteed to produce a reaction. The key is to let this tension build in a way that feels fun and mutual for both of you.

2. Talk About What You Both Want

Be honest about what you want. Believe it or not, your husband is not a mind reader and sometimes you may think that you are giving off all the obvious signs and he will go about his day-to-day activities completely oblivious.

You don’t necessarily need to be blunt about it—although “fancy a quickie?” may in some instances do the trick—but being clear about your interest can prevent both of you from having to guess.

Actively discuss with your partner what his sexual desires are; if there are any scenarios, positions or toys he wants to try with you but has always been too scared to bring up to you. You don’t have to embrace every desire he shares, of course. The point is to make room for an honest conversation about what appeals to both of you.

In the same respect, be open about your own sexual fantasies. A relationship is a two-way thing. If there are certain interests that he does not know arouse you, how is he meant to act on it? Not only will this add variety to your normal one (or two) position routine, but it can give a new lease of life and excitement to your sex life.

Spontaneity and flexibility can help keep some excitement in a long-term relationship. This is not to say that he is not sexually aroused by you now, but there is no harm in mixing it up a little. But remember, you know your husband and know when such acts of spontaneity will be most appreciated.

But let’s be honest, it’s not all about the sex. Don’t get me wrong, these intimate times between husband and wife are a huge factor in many relationships, but I think we’re past the stage of just seeing men as walking, talking sex machines. They deserve more credit than that.

All the sexual anticipation and wild sex moves diminish in meaning if the relationship itself feels disconnected. Sometimes all it takes is taking a genuine interest in his day or activities and showing appreciation for him. The same goes both ways: feeling wanted, appreciated and considered matters for both of you.

3. Feel Sexy in Your Own Skin

Confidence can be a big part of attraction, and that all starts with you. Take yourself out of your comfort zone when it feels good to do so—not because you need to perform for your husband, but because enjoying your own sexuality can be part of enjoying each other.

Showers are a great place to reignite your sex life. Sharing a sensual shower can be an easy way to create a little intimacy and playfulness in an otherwise ordinary day.

You are with the man you love, the man you chose to marry, perhaps the man you chose to have your children with. This far surpasses any other aspect of your sex life.

No one is perfect. Most of us have parts of our bodies we feel less confident about. But the key is embracing your imperfections rather than believing you need to look a particular way before you can feel desirable.

Instead of assuming what your husband thinks about your body, focus on being comfortable enough to let yourself be seen and enjoy the moment. Remind him of how sexy you are because you feel sexy, rather than treating your appearance as something you need to use to win his attention.

A seductive dance or sultry strip tease is a great way to express that confidence if it appeals to you and fits your relationship. And, funnily enough, it links back to the anticipation aspect I mentioned earlier. You want to make the encounter as sexually enticing as you can for the both of you.

You don’t have to throw every inhibition out the window. Confidence can also mean knowing what you enjoy, what you don’t and what makes you feel comfortable enough to be present with your husband.

How to Make Your Husband Want You: Focus on the Relationship You Share

Ultimately, I cannot tell you how you can turn your husband on, just pretty good ideas. However, in truth, you already know more about your relationship than any generic advice can tell you. It is not by pure accident that the man lying next to you is your husband. That is a choice you made together and sometimes that is taken for granted—perhaps due to everyday expectations, or dare I say sometimes laziness.

So, take the time to re-engage with your husband: listen to him, add sparks of excitement and accept your own sexual prowess. Pay attention to what you want as well, talk openly and let intimacy be something the two of you create together rather than something you have to perform correctly to guarantee a response.