Relationship Blackbook

Stronger Connections, Happier Relationships

Robyn Lee

Husband Watches TV All Day? Here’s How to Get Him to Reengage in Life

By Robyn Lee

It’s not the TV. It’s the way you feel invisible.

You walk into the room, and he’s glued to the screen. You try talking, but he barely grunts in response. You plan things, suggest date nights, try to pull him into something—anything—but he just seems… checked out.

“I swear, I feel like I don’t even have a husband anymore—I have a roommate who just sits on his ass glued to a screen all day. I try talking to him, and it’s like I don’t exist. He just nods along but doesn’t actually listen. And don’t even get me started on weekends—if he’s not on his phone, he’s on the Xbox. Like, does he even like spending time with me anymore? It’s so different from when we were dating. Back then, we actually did things! Now, if I want to do something fun, I have to drag him out of the house, and he acts like it’s a chore. I feel like I’m begging for attention in my own marriage, and honestly, I don’t even know if it’s worth it anymore. He says he’ll ‘try’ to be more present, but nothing ever changes. I’m so sick of this.”

Sound familiar? You’re not just frustrated with the screen time—you’re feeling lonely in your own marriage. It’s exhausting being the only one trying, the only one planning, the only one who still seems to care about connection. And underneath that frustration? There’s sadness. Regret. Even questioning whether you made the right choice.

So what now?

Let’s talk about it.

Why This Problem Happens

I’ve been there—if your husband is glued to the screen like it’s his part-time job after working a full day, it’s easy to take it personally. (Is it me? Does he not realize he’s not even participating in this marriage? Would he even notice if I walked out the door?)

But before getting into this destructive story, let’s break this down. It’s not always about you. In fact, half the time, he might not even realize how checked out he looks. Here’s what could actually be going on:

1. TV Became a Habit (And He’s on Autopilot)

Ever scrolled your phone “just for a second” and looked up an hour later wondering where your life went? It’s not always a deliberate choice—According to experts with Psychology Today, habits form when new behaviors become automatic and are enacted with minimal conscious awareness. As they explain, ‘the behavioral patterns we repeat most often are literally etched into our neural pathways.’ Just think about how often you unconsciously check your phone —similarly, his routine of turning on the TV becomes a default behavior that’s hard to break.

And for some men? The screen is a convenient way to check out. Not necessarily out of malice—but because conversations, emotions, and effort feel like work after a long day. And if he’s already feeling overwhelmed, zoning out might seem easier than engaging.

2. He’s Exhausted (And TV is His Escape)

Long day. Mentally drained. Zero energy left to hold a conversation. Instead of saying, Hey, I’m wiped out and need to recharge, he just zones out. (Because, let’s be honest, emotional vulnerability isn’t exactly every man’s strong suit.)

3. He’s Avoiding Something (Even If He Doesn’t Know It)

Sometimes, TV is more than just entertainment—it’s a shield. If things have been tense or there’s an issue simmering under the surface (unspoken resentment, stress, feeling like he’s failing in some way), the easiest thing to do is… not deal with it. Enter: Sportscenter.

4. His Brain Works Differently (And Time Slips Away)

For some people—especially if ADHD or hyperfocus is in the mix—tuning out the world comes way easier than tuning in. He might fully intend to “just watch one episode” but blink and suddenly it’s 2 AM and he’s “lost track of time”. If this is the case, he’s not choosing to ignore you—his brain is just wired to latch onto one thing and ride it out until something (or someone) snaps him out of it.

Your Perspective

It’s hard not to take it personally. When he’s glued to the screen for hours, it’s easy to think, If he really wanted to, he’d just turn it off. If he cared about me, he’d make the effort. And honestly? I get it. It feels like a choice—like he’s choosing to ignore you, choosing the screen over connection, choosing to check out instead of tuning in.

But here’s where things get tricky. Sometimes, what feels like a deliberate decision is really just habit, exhaustion, or even a coping mechanism he’s not fully aware of. And while you have every right to be frustrated, the way you respond in those moments can actually make things worse—pushing him further into his routine instead of snapping him out of it.

For example: 

Response Type

Criticizing or Guilt-Tripping

Example Statement

“You never pay attention to me! You care more about your TV than our marriage.”

Likely Response from Spouse

Defensive, denies the problem, or argues that he deserves to relax.

Response Type

Trying to Control His Behavior

Example Statement

“You need to stop watching TV all day and actually do something useful!”

Likely Response from Spouse

Feels controlled and may rebel by watching TV even more or withdrawing further.

Response Type

Focusing Only on the Problem, Not the Solution

Example Statement

“All you do is sit on the couch. This is so frustrating!”

Likely Response from Spouse

Acknowledges frustration but offers no solutions, leaving the issue unresolved.

Response Type

Silent Resentment

Example Statement

(Stops initiating conversations or quality time, acts cold and distant.)

Likely Response from Spouse

Both partners become more distant, deepening the emotional gap.

Response Type

Passive Acceptance

Example Statement

(Doesn’t say anything, stops asking for time together, just accepts it.)

Likely Response from Spouse

No change; he continues watching TV because he doesn’t see a problem.

His Perspective

From his perspective, TV time might just be his way of unwinding—it’s not a problem to him, so he doesn’t get why it’s such a big deal to you. In his mind, he’s just relaxing, not ignoring you. And when you bring it up? He might hear it as nagging or feel like you’re overreacting. (I’m literally just sitting here watching TV—why is this an issue?)

He may even think his physical presence is enough—like just being in the same room counts as quality time. But for you, sitting next to someone who’s checked out isn’t a connection—it’s lonely. 

And that disconnect? That’s where things start to spiral. Because when he doesn’t see an issue, and you feel like you’re constantly asking for basic attention, every conversation about it either turns into an argument or a half-hearted “I’ll try” that never really sticks.

Moving Forward

With both perspectives in mind, finding a resolution involves reframing the conversation about emotional connection—presenting it as a genuine need rather than just a complaint.

Strategies That Work

If you want real change, the way you approach this conversation matters. Before diving in, take a second to think—what does a win actually look like for you? Not perfection (because let’s be honest, that’s not happening overnight), but something better than where things are now.

Maybe it’s committing to a one-hour walk together every weekend without screens. Maybe it’s having dinner at the table without the TV on at least three nights a week. 

Once you have that in mind, here’s a step-by-step guide to help you start the conversation in a way that actually leads somewhere—without it turning into another argument.

1. Choose the Right Timing

Why timing matters: If he’s mid-game, watching a thriller, or just walked in from work, bringing this up right then is setting yourself up for frustration. The goal is to catch him at a moment when he’s relaxed and more likely to actually listen.

Instead of this:

Bringing it up while he’s actively watching TV: “Can you turn that off for one second? We need to talk.”

Try this:

Picking a calmer moment, like during dinner or on a walk: “Hey, I’ve been thinking about something and want to talk when we have a minute. No stress, just want to get your thoughts.”

Why it works:

It signals that this is an intentional conversation, not just a frustration-fueled outburst. It prevents him from feeling blindsided or forced into the discussion at a bad time. It also removes the pressure of an argument and makes it more of a two-way discussion.

2. Open with a “Soft Start”

Why it matters: Leading with frustration puts him on the defensive before the conversation even begins. Instead, start with a softer, more inviting tone—something that reminds him of the connection you both want.

Instead of this:

“All you do is sit and watch TV. You never make time for me.”

Try this:

“I was thinking about how much fun we used to have going out on Friday nights. I miss that. Do you?”

Why it works:

Nostalgia triggers positive emotions and makes him want to engage. It avoids blame, making him more likely to reflect instead of react. It starts the conversation from a place of connection, not conflict.

3. Express Your Feelings Without Blame

Why it matters: If he feels attacked, the conversation becomes about defending himself, not about actually hearing you. The key is shifting from your statements (which sound accusatory) to I statements (which focus on your feelings and needs).

Instead of this:

“You don’t care about me. You never make time for us.”

Try this:

“Lately, I’ve been feeling disconnected, and I miss spending real time together. I know you like to unwind with TV, but I’d love to find something we can enjoy together. What do you think?”

Why it works:

It puts the focus on your feelings rather than his behavior, making him less defensive. It invites him into the conversation instead of making him feel like the problem. It opens the door for collaboration rather than demanding change.

4. Ask for His Input (Make Him Part of the Solution)

Why it matters: People are more likely to follow through on something when they feel like they had a say in it. Instead of telling him what he needs to do, bring him into the conversation and let him be part of the decision-making.

Instead of this:

“You need to spend more time with me instead of watching TV.”

Try this:

“What’s something small we could do together each week that we’d both enjoy? I don’t want to take away your downtime, but I also want to feel like we’re connecting.”

Why it works:

He feels involved in the solution rather than just being told what to do. It keeps the conversation from feeling like an attack and makes it more of a team effort. It creates a sense of ownership, making him more likely to follow through.

5. Make a Small, Specific Suggestion

Why it matters: Big, vague requests (“Just be more present!”) don’t work. Small, concrete changes do. Instead of asking for an overhaul, suggest something manageable and realistic.

Instead of this:

“We need more quality time together.”

Try this:

“What if we do a screen-free night once a week? Just one night where we cook together, play a game, or do something fun that doesn’t involve a screen.”

Why it works:

A small task feels doable, so he’s less likely to shut it down. It removes the pressure of big change, making it easier to say yes. It frames it as an experiment, not a demand, giving him more willingness to try.

6. Reinforce the Positive and Express Appreciation

Why it matters: People repeat what gets rewarded. If he makes an effort, even in a small way, notice it. Let him know it matters.

Instead of this:

Ignoring small efforts or focusing only on what still needs improvement.

Try this:

“I really loved how we had dinner without the TV last night. It felt so good to actually talk and connect.”

Why it works:

Positive reinforcement makes him more likely to keep doing the thing. It helps him see what actually matters to you. It shifts the focus from what he’s not doing to what he is doing.

Remember, every relationship is different, and no one knows your husband better than you do. You know his personality, what he responds to, and what tends to make him shut down. These strategies aren’t meant to be a one-size-fits-all script—they’re a starting point. Adjust them to match your style while keeping the essence of what makes them effective.

The goal isn’t to guilt-trip, control, or force him into change. It’s to open up a conversation in a way that invites him to actually hear you, rather than getting defensive or tuning you out.

None of this is about changing him—it’s about changing the dynamic. When you approach the conversation with connection instead of conflict, you increase the chances of actually being heard.

And if nothing changes? That’s worth paying attention to, too. Because at the end of the day, you deserve a relationship where you feel valued, seen, and connected—not just like someone sitting next to him on the couch.

When to Seek Therapy

When It Might Be Time for Outside Help

If this has been an ongoing battle—with months (or years) of frustration, endless conversations, and nothing really changing—you might be wondering: Is this just how it is? Or is it time to get help?

Therapy isn’t about placing blame or forcing someone to change. It’s about breaking unhealthy patterns and making sure both partners feel heard. If you’re exhausted from feeling like the only one trying, it may be time to bring in a neutral third party.

Here are some signs that outside support might be worth considering:

  • Nothing Ever Changes.
    You’ve had so many conversations about this. He promises to “do better,” things improve for a few days, but then—right back to square one. If you’re stuck in that loop, a therapist can help create real accountability.
  • You Feel More Numb Than Upset.
    Frustration means you still care. But when you stop feeling anything—when you’re no longer mad, just detached—that’s a serious red flag. Resentment and emotional distance don’t show up overnight, but once they set in, they can be hard to reverse without outside help.
  • You’ve Started Fantasizing About Leaving.
    You catch yourself thinking, Wouldn’t it be easier to just be alone? Or maybe you imagine what life would be like with someone who actually wants to spend time with you. Those thoughts don’t mean you’re done—but they’re a sign that something needs to change before the distance between you becomes permanent.

What If He Refuses Therapy?

So, you bring it up, and he shuts it down. “I’m not talking to a stranger about my marriage.” Sound familiar?

That doesn’t mean you’re out of options. You can still:

  • Start individual therapy. Even if he won’t go, you can get support in processing your emotions and deciding what’s next. Sometimes, when one person shifts, the entire relationship dynamic changes.
  • Set firmer boundaries. Instead of saying, “I wish you’d spend less time on the TV,” try:
    “I need to feel valued in this marriage. If I keep feeling ignored, I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.”
  • Make it clear this isn’t just about TV. It’s not about the screen—it’s about connection. He doesn’t have to care about watching less TV, but he should care about how you feel in this marriage.

Sometimes, change starts with one person deciding what they will and won’t accept. If nothing changes—if he continues to tune you out, dismiss your feelings, and make you feel invisible—then it’s worth asking yourself:

“What does a happy, healthy relationship look like for me? And am I willing to keep living without it?”

Because at the end of the day, you deserve to feel seen.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Be Seen

This isn’t about TV. It never was. It’s about feeling like you matter. Like you’re seen, heard, and valued in your own marriage.

Maybe you’re tired of feeling like a background character in his life. Maybe you’ve tried talking, tried waiting, tried compromising—and nothing has changed. Maybe you don’t even know what else to say at this point. And I get it. Feeling like you’re the only one fighting for connection is exhausting.

But here’s the truth: You don’t have to beg for attention in your own marriage.

You’ve already taken the first step by acknowledging how you feel. Now, the next step is deciding what you want—a small shift in habits, a real conversation, or maybe even outside help. Whether your husband is open to change or not, you have a say in what happens next.

Maybe that means setting a boundary. Maybe it means speaking up in a way that makes him actually listen. Or maybe it means asking yourself the hard question: What do I need from this relationship to feel happy again?

Because at the end of the day, this isn’t just about getting him to turn off the TV. It’s about making sure you don’t disappear in a marriage that’s supposed to be a partnership.

You deserve love that feels like love—not like a one-sided effort to be noticed.

How to Get Your Husband to Help Around the House (Without Fighting)

It was the weekend, and I’d just finished washing several loads of clothes, starting the process of folding the family’s laundry, and putting everything away in each room. I made breakfast and lunch for the kids, cleaned the kitchen, and even tackled the refrigerator. I’d also managed to squeeze in 15 minutes of reading instruction for my daughter.

My husband was off that day and had been lounging in the living room, watching football as I powered through my to-do list. I kept reminding myself, I can’t control anyone else, only myself. If he chooses to watch the game, that’s his decision. He’ll help me later, once he’s relaxed, I told myself.

Then, as he walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat—something I had made—he noticed that our son had left his food out on the table. He came into the bedroom, where I was folding his clothes, and asked, “Do you have plans for the food on the table?”

I told him, “No. Can you put it away?”

His response? “Why can’t you do it?”

I was so angry that I booked a hotel for the night. I couldn’t be around him. My thoughts were racing: How can he not understand? How can he watch me do everything and still ask me to do more? I let him have it—probably said more than I should have—then grabbed my bags and walked out.

Why Your Husband Doesn’t Help with Chores

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything while your partner sits comfortably on the couch, you’re not alone—and it’s more common than you may think.

You’re feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the unequal division of household tasks, and it’s starting to take a toll on you.

You’re tired of doing it, and it’s making you unhappy.

For some, the emotional labor of constantly asking for help, keeping track of household needs, and managing childcare creates deep resentment and exhaustion. And when that resentment builds, it can lead to emotional disconnection in a relationship.

So why does this happen? Several factors are at play:

  • Traditional Gender Roles: Even if both partners work full-time, many women are still expected to handle the bulk of domestic responsibilities, a phenomenon often referred to as the second shift.

  • Lack of Awareness: Many men don’t fully recognize the invisible workload of managing a home and kids, especially if they were raised in environments where women handled most household tasks.

  • Power Dynamics: Some men believe their financial contributions outweigh household work, leading to an imbalance in effort and decision-making.

How to Shift Your Mindset When Your Husband Doesn’t Help

That night, as I sat in my hotel room, I realized something important—my husband wasn’t suddenly going to wake up and start seeing things from my perspective. I had spent so much time hoping he would just get it, but he wasn’t wired to notice the same things I did. If I wanted change, it had to start with me.

And no, that didn’t mean I needed to take on even more. It meant I had to stop seeing myself as someone who needed help and start seeing myself as an equal partner in managing our household.

Once I valued what I brought to the table, my approach changed. Instead of wanting “help” from him—because this wasn’t my responsibility alone—I started framing conversations differently. It was no longer about me needing help; it was about how we could better support our family based on our bandwidth.

How to Get Your Husband to Help with Household Chores

You May Have to Ask—And That’s Okay

I used to think my husband should just see what needed to be done and do it. But the truth is, if he’s never had to pay attention to these things before, it won’t suddenly become second nature.

Instead of expecting him to just notice, I started asking the way I would a friend or colleague—someone I respect and want to maintain a good relationship with. Not in a frustrated, passive-aggressive way, but with the assumption that he simply didn’t realize.

And when he followed through, I made sure to acknowledge it. We all respond better to positive reinforcement than to criticism. It’s not about rewarding someone for doing their part—it’s about reinforcing the effort so that, over time, it becomes automatic.

Present the Problem as a Team Issue

Instead of pointing fingers or telling him what he wasn’t doing, I started framing household management as something we needed to solve together. For example, I’d say: “I really want us to have home-cooked meals, but between work, the kids, and everything else, I feel exhausted. What do you think we could do?” This approach led to actual solutions instead of defensiveness.

Stop Using the Word ‘Help’

If you think about it, saying “I need you to help with the house” already puts you in a weaker position—it implies that the responsibility is yours, and he’s just assisting. Instead, I started seeing our household responsibilities as a shared effort. I no longer framed it as me needing his help but as us figuring out what worked best for our family. This shift changed everything. Now, my husband will clean the kitchen without me asking (at times), not because I nagged, but because he sees his role in keeping our household running.

Take Home Insights: Creating a More Balanced Home

  • Most of the time, your husband isn’t intentionally trying to hurt you. Men and women think and communicate differently, and learning how men process things can be a powerful tool in building a better marriage.

  • If you’re struggling with this right now, know that you’re not alone. This is a common issue in marriage, and small changes in communication can make a huge difference.

  • Try assuming he doesn’t know, rather than assuming he’s ignoring you. This mindset shift alone can lead to more productive conversations and fewer feelings of resentment.

  • It took me two years of therapy to get here, but with the right therapist, the process of learning and adjusting can be a great experience for you and your marriage.

  • If therapy isn’t an option right now, I highly recommend these books for understanding your partner better:

    • Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray

    • Beyond Mars and Venus by John Gray

    • Why Mars and Venus Collide by John Gray

What Has Worked for You?

Have you struggled with household imbalance? What has worked for you? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re navigating this in your own relationship.

How Long Should You Date Before Getting Married? Is There A Magic Number?

Well, it’s finally happening. Cupid has really done it this time. After all the false starts and failed relationships, you have met Mr. Right. But there is one question that keeps hounding you: how long to date before marriage?

What’s the point of waiting? Especially if you are in love with someone. Why not just get it over with as soon as you can? 

Well, it’s not this black and white. The truth is, couples that date longer before marriage have lower chances of filing for divorce. For example, couples that date for at least four years before tying the knot lower their divorce rate to 40%!

So what is the reason behind this? It’s simple; just think of marriage as a battle. It’s you and your partner against everything that would break your union. In this context, dating is like a sparring session, getting ready for the real thing. Maintaining a strong relationship while dating drastically increases the longevity of your marriage. 

So how long should you wait to tie the knot? As long as it takes. I know, dating for a long period is not a walk in the park. But remember, the more you sweat in practice, the less you will bleed in battle. 

If you want to find out more on this sensitive issue (of course you do!), then read on. 

Why Date Longer Before Marriage?

Check out these convincing reasons why you should take your time before tying the knot. 

Get To Know Your Partner Inside Out

Be honest. How well do you really know your man? Well enough to spend the rest of your life with him? If the answer isn’t a definitive yes, then you should hold off on marriage for a while longer. 

I know what you are thinking: your love for him is strong. But who is he exactly? One thing you have to accept is that we all have modular personalities. This means that what you see now isn’t necessarily what you’ll get down the road. 

Use yourself as an example. In the first stages of meeting someone, you want to impress. Do you let them know everything about you? Unless you are the world’s most open woman, I doubt you will. 

Instead, you are going to do what most of us do: put your best foot forward while holding your cards to the chest. And there is nothing wrong with this approach. It’s natural to want your special someone to see only your best self. 

So what’s stopping your partner from doing the same exact thing? Nothing at all. This is why you have to play the long game when it comes to dating. The more time you spend with him, the more you can learn about him. 

It’s hard not to see the reasoning behind this. Like yourself, your partner has a complex personality. It will take a while before you can truly know him. Anyone who tells you otherwise is taking you for a ride. 

Marriage isn’t child’s play, it’s a serious partnership. For it to work, you have to fully understand the kind of person you plan on spending the rest of your life together with. 

Now, how long should you wait to get married? I believe “long enough” is the word you may be looking for, based on this factor. 

Marriage Isn’t A Magic Pill

Marriage Isn’t A Magic Pill

Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? If not, let me burst your bubble. Maintaining it is hard work. Of course, you already know this if you have ever been in one. 

And guess what, it doesn’t get easier. Marriage is a whole other ball game. I know, this isn’t the news you want to hear. It’s like a punch to the gut, especially if you thought marriage is bliss. 

It’s not. 

Here’s the thing. When things get worse while you are dating someone, you can check out at any time. No one is stopping you and you don’t have that much to lose anyway. This isn’t the case when it comes to marriage. 

Yes, you can get a divorce but it’s not as straightforward as it seems on paper. The process is complex and strenuous. What’s more, the psychological turmoil you will go through might leave you jaded and emotionally drained. 

Where am I going with this? Well, here’s my point: you should deeply evaluate your reasons for getting married. If you are doing it in the hopes that it will magically transform your relationship, just don’t go ahead with it. 

We all love keeping scores, after all. It’s how we measure progress. The problem is approaching marriage as the ‘next level’ for your relationship. 

Take me at my word. There is nothing but disappointment and disillusionment down that road. Marriage isn’t a level you need to get to fix an unstable relationship. Marriage is a state of being, it happens long before you even say ‘I do’. 

Think about that. What does a wedding ceremony really change? It’s nothing but a formality. Once the pomp and fanfare die down, you will be back to reality. 

If you had a strong relationship before tying the knot, then it will be business as usual. Nothing will faze either of you. After all, you took the time to learn the ropes while you were dating. Past victories during tough times will light your way when things get dark, and believe me, things will get dark. 

But if you had fundamental problems you never addressed, then I am sorry to say your marriage will be nothing but a sham. It won’t survive the hits and jabs that life will definitely throw your way. 

So, how long should you date before getting married? As long as you can. Don’t rush it; you have all the time in the world to get it right. 

Experience Is The Best Teacher

Can you ride a bike? You probably can. How did you learn? 

I doubt you just jumped on and cycled away like a pro. First, you had to use trainer wheels. When those came off, you had your share of painful falls and ugly bruises before you could balance properly. 

But you didn’t give up; you took it all within your stride. In time, you were able to ride your bike without even thinking about it. What can you take away from this? 

Experience is the best teacher you will ever have. The bottom line is that you can only learn through experience. All the advice in the world is useless if you don’t go through something first hand. How does this apply to marriage? 

Well, a committed, long-term relationship is the closest thing to a marriage. In fact, you can argue that marriage is only a formality after you have been with someone long enough.

Look, committing your life to someone is not a joke. How can you make such a monumental decision without knowing your partner in and out? The answer is you shouldn’t, at least if you want your marriage to stand the test of time. 

Remember when I mentioned having modular personalities? It’s why you should take your time getting to know your man before tying the knot. 

The longer you stay together, the more experiences you will both share. What are his expectations from life? Does he share the same values you do? Can you count on him when a crisis arises? Does he want a family? Is he good with money? You get the idea. 

Like you, your partner has many layers making up his personality. Is he like a sweet cake? Where every layer is nothing but sweetness. Or is he like an onion? Where every layer you pull back just makes you cry. 

The only way you can find out is through shared experiences. As I said earlier, a long-term and committed relationship will get you prepared for the real thing. 

If you are wondering how long you should wait before getting married, the answer is long enough to see your partner at his best and at his lowest. 

Realistic Expectations

Realistic Expectations

Quick question, how happy do you think your marriage will be? I am pretty sure you’re hoping it will be a blast. After all, optimism doesn’t hurt. But the reality is, we can’t predict the future. 

Hoping for the best is fine, but you have to learn how to gauge your expectations. How can you expect a great marriage with your partner if your relationship is going to the dogs? The truth is, you can’t.

Life is what you make of it. Wishing the future will be better is pointless if you aren’t improving your current situation. The same applies to marriage. If you want a great marriage with someone you love, then you have to work on your relationship. 

This is why dating for a short time before marriage isn’t a good idea. 

I won’t lie, the first phases of a relationship where you are heady in love are awesome. But as you know, things won’t stay this way for long. As I said, we put our best foot forward during this period. 

What’s more, you will likely ignore blatant red flags since you are deep in the love sauce. What happens if you get married during this phase? You’ll end up setting unrealistic expectations for your union. 

The problem is that once the honeymoon phase comes to an end, you will end up feeling short-changed. However, this isn’t the case at all if you have dated someone long enough. You know that relationships peak and dip every once in a while. 

Experiencing this with your partner will prepare you for the roller coaster ride that is married life. Instead of throwing a tantrum when things hit rock bottom, you will roll up your sleeves and face the challenge head-on. 

Instead of getting lost in the moment when things are going great, you will make preparations for a rainy day. 

Ask any expert how long do people date before getting married, and they are likely to use this point as an example to illustrate that long enough is better.

Dating your partner for a sufficient period of time will teach you perseverance and ground your expectations. 

You will better understand that for you to have a blissful marriage, you have to constantly nurture and fight for your relationship. 

Individual Growth

Focussing on your man is easy when you are thinking of tying the knot. But take a second to ask yourself, are you ready for marriage? 

We live in a time when divorce rates are going through the roof. This shows two things. One, most people aren’t ready for marriage. Two, our society doesn’t take marriage seriously anymore.

Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the days when the terms ‘through thick and thin’ and ‘for better or for worse’ actually had meaning. 

Divorce isn’t a new concept; it has been around for a long time. I will admit that the law made it difficult to get a divorce, and the idea was frowned on by society at large. But dissolving a marriage was not impossible. 

I know that comparing past marriages and modern ones is a dead end. But one thing remains the same in both scenarios: emotional maturity and individual growth are ever-present in lasting marriages. 

Hear me out. Life won’t play out as you want it to. This is a sad but true reality. People you love and care for deeply will fall short of your expectations at some point. 

Accepting such hard facts is what separates a child from an adult. Taking disappointments and hardship in your stride is part of growing up. Only by reflecting on such moments can you mature into a better version of yourself and reach your potential. 

So what does this have to do with long-term relationships before marriage?

Everything!

How can you learn how to compromise if you have never disagreed on serious issues with your partner? What happens when he won’t come to your side of the road? Do you feed your ego by sticking to your guns? Or do you come up with a solution that ensures you both meet halfway? 

How will you react if your partner loses his job or falls sick? Do you have the perseverance and grit to hold everything together through raging storms and during dark times? Can you find it in your heart to forgive him for a grievous mistake? Can you overcome the crushing disappointment of dealing with infidelity or addiction? 

The truth is, you can’t answer these questions if you have only been with someone for a short period of time. Committing to a long-term relationship and sticking through the hard times is what true love is all about. 

Now, here’s a quick question based on this point: How long do you wait to get married? Your guess is as good as mine but a reasonably long time is a good start!

The phase where you are both romantically in love is great. It serves its purposes. But a marriage based on such a relationship won’t survive when misfortune comes knocking. 

As mentioned earlier, marriage is a state of being. Like a plant, you sow the seed when you first meet someone you want to be with. You nurture your love by both working on your relationship and personality. 

Sticking together and finding solutions through hard times ensures that your union grows ever strong. Like a tree with deep roots and a hardy trunk, you won’t be uprooted when the winds of misfortune blow your way.

Back to the earlier question on how long to date before marriage, you can clearly see that the longer you take, the better it is for both of you.

FAQs

How long is too long before marriage? 

Just how long should you date before marriage? Well, it all depends on you. 

Do you feel ready for such a commitment? If you do, then by all means go for it. However, you have to be honest with yourself and consider your partner as well. 

Look, true love more often comes around only once in your life. Jumping into a marriage half-baked will end in disaster. You will lose someone you truly loved just because you couldn’t wait. 

On the other hand, time waits for no man. Waiting around for your partner to propose is not a good idea, especially if you have been together for long enough and marriage is a priority for you. If you feel you have waited long enough, then raise the issue with your partner. 

It might not be romantic, but it will clear the air. You will get his perspective and understand whether marriage is in his/her plans or not. 

How long is too long before marriage?

Does the length of courtship guarantee a lasting marriage?

Not necessarily. It does increase the chances that your marriage will last, but it’s not a given. It all depends on how well you both work as a team. 

There are couples who get married after six months and guess what? They have the most successful marriages of our times. 

At the end of the day, all that matters is how much your relationship and marriage means to the both of you. 

Final Thoughts

So how long should you date before marriage? Well, as long as it takes for you to understand the burden and responsibility that comes with committing your life to another. Hopefully, all these points have helped things into perspective for you. All the best as you go through this phase of your life. 

6 Reasons Why Your Husband Isn’t Affectionate Anymore [+ What You Should Do]

Why doesn’t my husband show me affection? If I am being honest, this is a complex and sensitive question. And as you’ll soon find out, there are a good number of reasons why he has become less affectionate.

Do you remember what it was like when you first met your husband? Those first years were like something straight out of a romance movie. He would go the extra mile just to make you feel valued and happy. From romantic dates and trips to scenic locations and unexpected gifts, you were living the good life. 

Now, the fact that you are reading this means your marriage has kind of hit a slump. Let me guess. Off late, your hubby seems remote, solitary, and uncaring. So why this sudden change in behavior? Why doesn’t your husband show you affection anymore? 

Such a sudden lack of affection from a hubby is enough to drive anyone crazy. So, should you hit the panic button? Not yet, for you are in good hands. 

In this blog, I cover the main reasons for reduced levels of affection in your marriage. What’s more, I won’t leave you hanging. You will find tips on how to revert your hubby from ice-cold to warm, approachable, and romantic. 

Let’s get started. 

Reasons Why Your Husband Isn’t Affectionate

Before you can solve this puzzle, you must first identify the cause of the problem. Here are the main reasons your husband has dialed down his affection for you:

He Is Way Deep In The Comfort Zone

Let me let you in on a little secret. Men have one-track minds. When they focus on something or someone, they give it everything they have. 

However, once they achieve the desired result, they shift their attention someplace else. Make no mistake, your husband isn’t an exception to this rule. 

When you first started dating, he had to pull out the stops just to get you to notice him. Since competition for your love was fierce, he had to stay on his toes to keep you interested. However, this slowly changed once you tied the knot. 

His thought process went something like this: since he got you, is there any need for overt displays of affection?

Of course, you don’t agree. But put yourself in his shoes for a moment. As you know, marriage life comes with a lot of responsibilities. From career issues to raising a family, his focus probably shifted to pressing matters. This doesn’t mean your man doesn’t love you, far from it. 

As you’ll soon find out, making subtle changes will reignite the spark of romance in your marriage. 

He Is Dealing With Something

He Is Dealing With Something

There is a high chance that your husband is the strong and silent type. You might not have picked on this at any point in your marriage. But the truth is, even if your man is a chatterbox by nature, a personal crisis will cause him to retreat inwards. 

Yes, this probably makes no sense to you. As women, we tend to talk about our problems with people we love. But men are not the same. 

The truth is, personal obstacles will crop up no matter how great your marriage is. It could be anything, from problems at work to financial difficulties. When this happens, your husband will shift his focus from you to what’s troubling him. The result? He will seem cold and less approachable. 

As I mentioned earlier, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you anymore. As long as he is dealing with what’s troubling him, then it’s likely that your husband won’t show you the affection you are used to. 

He Has A Lot On His Plate

There is a high chance that pressure from work is the reason behind your husband not being affectionate. If this is the case, don’t be surprised when all he wants to do when he gets home is fall on the sofa and take a nap. 

While it’s easy to be offended at this, put yourself in his shoes. After dealing with colleagues and work-related issues all day, he will have nothing left in the tank. What’s more, like most men, your husband is only social to a point. 

Can you really blame him if he needs some time alone to reset after a hectic workday? 

He Is Seeing Someone Else

Yes, you probably don’t want this to be true. However, your husband having an affair could be the reason he no longer shows you affection. Unless your husband is a natural-born player, he will have trouble feigning commitment to you while he is having an affair. 

If your husband is unfaithful, you will notice a tremendous drop in his level of affection for you. 

The first place to suffer will be the bedroom. Does he show little to no interest no matter how hard you try? Unless he is under a lot of pressure, or he is dealing with something, there is a high chance that he is seeing someone else. 

While this is a heartbreaking development, I will walk you through how you can best approach it and come out stronger than before. 

A Troubled Childhood

Like the rest of us, your husband is a product of his environment. Not all families are close-knit and full of affection. If your husband had a troubled childhood, he won’t know how to show you affection. 

If this is the case, then you should consider therapy since he could have deep issues that require professional attention. 

So what if your husband is not affectionate, even though he comes from a loving home? Well in this case, it’s likely you are both reading from different scripts. For example, if your man grew up with only brothers for siblings, then his way of showing affection might not be what you are used to. 

Think about it, unlike men, women have no problem displaying their emotions. It’s why your husband will have less trouble being affectionate if he had sisters growing up. 

Different Needs For Affection

I know, you are proud that you have a lot in common with your husband. But, you might be surprised to find that affection levels vary in couples. I am serious. In fact, the reason your husband isn’t showing you affection could be because he has low needs himself. There are many reasons for this, including how he was brought up.

Of course, this imbalance will generate a lot of tension in your marriage. Unless you figure out the cause for it, you will end up feeling neglected or, worse, needy. 

My advice? Talk to your husband if you suspect this is the case. He should have no problem adjusting once you explain what you need from him.

Back to the earlier question: why doesn’t my husband show me affection? Well, I believe you are all set to start investigating the cause. No matter the outcome, keep in mind there are still so many ways you can use to turn things around, if that’s what you desire. 

To start you off, we have some tips.

How To Make Your Husband More Affectionate

Now that you are familiar with the reasons why your husband isn’t affectionate, you can effectively tackle the problem. Read on to learn how you can get him to turn his charm back on and make him fall in love with you again.

Get Your Flirt On

Get Your Flirt On

Quick question, do you flirt with your husband anymore? If not, then you should start right away. Here’s why.

Flirting often with your husband will throw him off balance. Think about it. Getting too comfortable is natural, especially if you have been married for a long time. And the problem with this is that your husband will come to think of you as his friendly roommate instead of a romantic partner.

Trust me, you don’t want this.

Flirting with your husband will remind him why he was crazy about you in the first place. What’s more, it shows that you are still interested in him. Apart from boosting his self-confidence, such a move will make him start flirting back. Before you know it, he won’t be able to stay away from you. 

Compliment Him

My husband is not affectionate, yet I compliment him daily. Why should I? That’s yet another common question I feel compelled to address in this context.

I know this is hard to hear, but your attitude could be the reason your husband isn’t being affectionate. Maybe he has been trying, but for some reason, you haven’t noticed. If this is the case, you need to reevaluate the situation and be more attentive to what your husband does for you.

If he goes out of his way to make you happy or comfortable, honestly compliment him for his effort. Even if it’s something simple, make a point of thanking him. Instead of coming off as ungrateful, he will be motivated knowing that you appreciate him. 

Think of it as reinforcing positive behavior. One thing is for certain, he will open up and become more affectionate over time.

Give Him Space

Unlike women, men are not naturally affectionate. So, when a husband is not affectionate, maybe you should give him space. 

Think about that. Unless you make an effort to hide your emotions, it’s not that hard for someone to tell how you feel. But this is not the case with your husband. He probably plays his cards close to the chest. With this in mind, there is a high chance you are moving too fast for him.

Yes, it’s true. In your eagerness, you might be beating him to the punch when it comes to expressing his love for you. If this is the case, one of two things will happen. 

He will become overwhelmed, causing him to retreat further inward. Or he won’t put a lot of effort into showing you his affection.

Give him space. All he needs is a little freedom; in time he will get creative in showing you that he loves you. All it takes is patience on your part.

Talk To Your Husband

Talk To Your Husband

Clear communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. It’s in your best interests to talk to your husband if you feel that he isn’t showing you affection. 

In my experience, an honest discussion will remedy almost any issue in a marriage. A word of caution though: you should be mindful of how you approach the discussion.

Going in guns blazing is never a good idea. Remember, you don’t know what has triggered the change of behavior from your husband. As I mentioned earlier, he could be going through something personal. 

A confrontational approach might trigger a fight or, worse, cause him to stonewall you completely. Talk to him as a friend. Calmly explain how his indifference is negatively affecting you. 

Unless your hubby is being malicious, there is no way he won’t listen to your concerns. Here’s the funny thing.

You might be surprised to find out that he thought nothing was wrong. But if he is dealing with something, then a discussion allows him to bring his issues to light. 

Be Patient

It pays to be patient with your husband. After all, you can’t hurry affairs of the heart. Don’t be in a rush to press the panic button if you feel your husband is not being affectionate enough. Love is patience and resilience. 

Now, your husband might have his own thought process when it comes to showing affection. So give him time to take in all your signals and consider the best response to them. 

Note that men can be very deliberate when it comes to displays of affection. What’s more, your husband won’t be oblivious to your patience. He will appreciate that you are giving him to figure things out and he will love you more for this.

Figure Out Your Methods Of Affection

Figuring out your methods of affection will save you a lot of grief. You might be mistaken in thinking that your husband isn’t showing you affection. Maybe you both have different ways of displaying affection. 

Think about that. Your husband might not be into hugging and cuddling all the time. Of course, this could become a problem if you expect these things from him.

Taking time to understand your husband’s style of expressing his love is in his best interest. Not only will you be at peace, but you will know when your husband is being affectionate, even if it’s not how you expect.

FAQs

I know you may have so many other questions, besides why does my husband show me no affection? Here are some answers to the most frequently asked questions about this topic.

Why is my husband suddenly cold?

Your husband suddenly becoming cold towards you is no doubt a cause for concern. There are a good number of reasons for this change in behavior. 

More often than not, having a candid talk with your man should be enough. But if he is not receptive despite your best efforts, then you should be worried.

Evaluate your marriage. Could it be something you have done? Are there unresolved issues between the two of you? Maybe something from your past has come to light? 

If so, you should do what’s necessary to resolve the issue. However, if you feel that everything is fine on your end, then there is a chance that he doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. 

I don’t have to say it. Of course, this is heartbreaking. But the earlier you come to terms with it, the better. 

Here’s my advice. Confront him straight up if you feel that this is the case. If he still loves you, he will quickly dispel your fears, since he won’t want to lose you. If he doesn’t, then you have your answer. Moving on is in your best interests. 

Is his lack of affection proof of an affair?

Not really. 

Look, I get it. Assuming the worst is easy if your husband suddenly becomes indifferent towards you. But you shouldn’t quickly jump to conclusions. As I have mentioned earlier, he could be focusing on personal struggles of his own. Marriages go through ups and downs. 

Just because your husband isn’t being affectionate anymore, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. 

Well, what if he is having an affair? I would advise you to be thorough. Exhaust all your options before entertaining that thought. The truth is, once you open that door, closing it won’t be as easy. 

Assuming that your husband is having an affair means that you no longer trust him. Do you really want to take that leap? First, make sure that his change in behavior isn’t the result of something unrelated. 

Is his lack of affection proof of an affair?

When should I seek professional help?

Your husband could have deep issues that hinder him from fully expressing his love for you. In my experience, children from troubled backgrounds find it hard to receive or show affection. 

More often than not, it’s a subconscious defense mechanism. Your husband could be in a similar predicament, closing himself off to avoid being hurt again. 

If this is the case, you shouldn’t blame him or let him suffer in silence, especially since a professional will help him resolve his issues through reflection and honesty. 

It won’t be an easy journey. But at the completion of his treatment, your husband will attain the inner peace he deserves. In time, he will have no problem being affectionate with you. 

Final Thoughts

Armed with all these tips, you will have an easier time making the correct judgment on why your husband doesn’t show you affection anymore. Even though this is a huge cause for concern, it may not be as serious as you thought. Even better, you can still make him love you madly again. 

Take your time analyzing the situation based on everything we have talked about so far. And remember to put the remedies into action as well. I know you’ll do great at whatever you put your mind to. Best wishes!

Make Your Husband Miss You In 9 Simple But Powerful Ways

Remember what it was like in the initial stages of your relationship? You most probably knew how to make your husband miss you. Your man could barely get his mind off you. He did everything with you in mind. After all, you were the center of his universe. 

So what changed? Has he become indifferent to you now that you are married? Or is his love for you fading? Should you be worried? 

Honestly, there is no reason for alarm. Unlike women, men have a one-track mind. It’s true, your husband won’t focus on something unless he feels he has to. I know this sounds cold and inconsiderate. But the truth is now that you are married, your hubby has probably slipped into a comfort zone. 

Why should he miss you when you are his wife? After all, you are going to be together for better and for worse, right? 

I am willing to bet a lot of money that this doesn’t sit right with you. It’s time to flip the script. Making him miss you like crazy again is not rocket science. Stick around. Let me show you how to nudge your husband out of his comfort zone 

1. Be His Best Friend

Men are solitary creatures. It’s why you will be hard-pressed to find a guy who has a large social network. So what’s the reason behind this? 

As men grow older, they tend to look within, becoming more self-centered over time. The result is, they find it hard to maintain old friendships, simply because it seems like too much work. Talk about low effort. 

This is where you come in. 

Your husband is not any different. On paper, it might seem that he is okay with focusing on himself and his interests. However, this is far from the truth. 

The reality is that your husband would love to let you into his world. Think about the first years of your relationship. You couldn’t stop him from letting you know everything he had been up to. It’s probably why you fell for him in the first place. This doesn’t have to change now that you are married. All you have to do is be his best friend. 

Look, men have horrible communication skills. This is why you should take time to figure out what makes your husband tick. Look at it this way: he is not the same person he was when you were dating. 

Just like you, his worldview is constantly evolving. Be his best friend, draw him out of his shell by showing that you are genuinely interested in him. Ask him questions about anything and everything. 

How was his day? Where does he see himself in a decade? Does he hate his job? What would he do if he had a week of Sundays? The results will shock you. Not only will he communicate more, but he will focus on you as well. 

That’s how to make your husband miss you badly when you are not around, and he won’t be afraid to show it. 

2. Rekindle Your Friendships

Rekindle Your Friendships

There is a high chance that your friendships took a back seat once you tied the knot. This is completely natural, especially since focussing on your marriage comes first. 

But the downside is that your social life will suffer as a result. Over time, there is a risk that you will cling to your hubby to compensate. With you being always available, the outcome is your husband won’t miss you as much. 

This is why you have to rekindle your old friendships. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Start out by reaching out to family and old friends. This simple step encourages you to leave the comfort of your marriage and explore other social circles. Before you know it, your husband will want to know what you are up to. 

Don’t stop at reaching out. Make plans with your friends. Start with something simple. 

When was the last time you had a lunch date together? The best part about this approach is that you get to kill two birds with one stone. Yes, you get to make your husband miss you more while breaking the monotony and routine of marriage. 

However, there is also an unintended (but welcome) result. Rekindling old friendships and expanding your social network will do wonders for your personal growth.

Spending time with your friends and finding out what they have been up to forces you to take a closer look at your life. Instead of being content with going through the motions, you will become more conscious of your actions. As a result, you will become less passive and more spontaneous over time. Trust me, your husband will have to be blind not to notice this change.

Not only will you become less predictable, but you won’t be available at his beck and call. And that’s exactly how to make your husband miss you more, pay more attention to you, and value your company. 

3. Break Routine

Let’s be honest. It’s easy to get used to a routine once you are married. While a familiar routine does have its merits, there is a high chance your marriage will become monotonous in no time. 

As I mentioned earlier, your husband won’t miss you as much unless you make an effort to be less predictable. 

Despite what you might think, men are very perceptive. Your husband will notice subtle changes you make, simply because it’s not what he is familiar with. 

A simple but effective example is changing your signature scent, especially if your husband is used to it. You might roll your eyes at this, but don’t underestimate the power that smell has over memory. Your new scent will break routine, reminding him of you even when you are not around. 

Of course, you can go further. Make the process more fun by involving your husband. Think of the things you are used to doing together, then introduce changes. 

Do you enjoy taking walks together? You can try out cycling for a change. Maybe he enjoys your cooking. Flip the script and teach him how to make his favorite meal. You will find that shaking up things you both love creates great memories. The result? 

Your husband will want to spend every single second with you. As you can guess, he will miss you badly when you are not around. 

4. Control The Conversation

I get it, your man is your best friend. Of course, this makes you want to be in constant communication with him. While it’s perfectly natural to feel this way, you have to check yourself if you want to make your husband miss you more. 

Like all men, your husband is a creature of habit. If he is used to you constantly calling and texting him, then he won’t have any reason to reach out. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that you should give your hubby the silent treatment; this isn’t healthy at all. You should instead control the flow of conversation. For starters, you can start by setting phone rules for yourself. A good example is that unless you have something important to tell him, you shouldn’t text or call him.

Don’t stop there, include your social media use as well. Think about it. Will your husband really miss you if his social media feeds are flooded with your posts and photos? Of course not. I know this is especially hard if you are a social butterfly, but the results are well worth it. 

By taking these steps, you are able to control the flow of conversation. Your husband won’t have easy access to you if you aren’t around, making him truly miss you. The outcome? The tables will turn and he will make the effort to contact you and know how you are doing throughout the day.

5. Invoke His Hero Instinct

Invoke His Hero Instinct

Invoking your husband’s hero instinct is an effective way of making him miss you more. Exactly what is the hero instinct? 

Have you ever asked yourself why men feel the need to provide, protect, and care for the women they love? You guessed right: the hero instinct. The best part is, you don’t have to do too much to get the ball rolling. 

The truth is, like most men, your husband loves a challenge. With this in mind, you can start by asking him to help you out with simple things. Is your husband good with his hands? If so, don’t call the plumber the next time your kitchen sink acts up. Instead, ask him if he thinks he can fix it. 

If he is good with tech, ask him for his opinion before buying a new phone. Yes, it might all seem simple on paper but it really works. The truth is, men are like peacocks: they love showing off. 

Your husband will jump at the opportunity to show you just how awesome he is. Guess what? Since your opinion matters a lot to him, he will miss you like crazy when you aren’t around. 

6. Give Him Space

Here’s another perfect way to make your husband want you. Give him his space. Being available all the time is not a good look. Like all men, your husband loves to spend time by himself. The irony is that the more time he spends alone, the more he will realize why he loves your company. 

Now, this is a hard thing to do, especially if you are used to spending most of your time with your hubby. 

However, for him to miss you more, you have to keep your distance. And the best part is, you get time for your own activities in turn. Here’s where you can put the 80/20 rule to your advantage. Use the time away from your husband to focus on yourself. You can catch up with friends, pick up a hobby, or just kick back and relax. 

What’s funny is that your husband will get bored with solitude in no time. Before you know it, he will come around wanting to spend even more time with you. The bonus is, you’ll have a lot to share with each other from your experiences apart. And this will eventually result in a strong and wholesome marriage. 

7. Take Care Of Yourself

Admit it, letting yourself go is easy once you tie the knot. Don’t beat yourself up once this happens. Getting comfortable in your marriage is completely natural. However, you shouldn’t settle into this phase if you want to make him want you more. 

Here’s how you can go about it: think of the ideal version of yourself, what is she like? 

Is she physically fit? If so, then join your local gym and start working out. Is she intellectual and knowledgeable? Then look up topics that you like and learn more about them. Is she outgoing and adventurous? Then try out an outdoor activity that is not within your comfort zone. 

The best part about this approach is that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. In fact, that’s precisely how to make your husband miss you without using too much effort.

Not only will your husband notice the changes you are making, but he will be challenged by your progress as well. As a result, he will get out of his comfort zone and improve himself. 

Not only does working on yourself increase your confidence, but it also makes you fun to be around. You can be sure your husband will be thinking about you round the clock. 

8. Show That You Appreciate Him

Show That You Appreciate Him

How do you make your better half miss you, even when you are in the next room? Show him that you care deeply for him. Unlike women, most men are not used to being the center of attention. Showing your husband you appreciate everything he does will balance your marriage, strengthening it in the long run. 

So how do you go about this? It’s the little things that count. A simple note reminding him why you think he is special will make an otherwise strenuous week easier to handle. What’s more, show him that you don’t take him for granted by thanking him every time he goes out of his way to do something for you. 

You can take it further by throwing him a surprise party where you can shine the spotlight on him by making him feel valued. Brag about his strengths to your mutual friends. Make sure he knows that his efforts don’t go unnoticed. 

Not only will your husband deeply appreciate the gesture, but his love for you will also become stronger. 

9. Work On Your Communication

Nothing kills a marriage faster than poor communication. This is especially true in times of conflict. You have to do your best to meet your husband halfway. Think about it. You can’t expect your husband to miss you if your disagreements always go unresolved. 

For starters, don’t let things simmer. Let your husband know if you don’t agree with something. However, don’t stick to your guns when you do raise a complaint. Instead, listen to your husband to fully understand where he is coming from. This way, reaching common ground will be much easier even if you don’t fully agree with his point of view. 

All in all, a marriage is defined by how well you handle your conflicts. A calm and level-headed approach will make your husband respect your opinion and miss you more whenever you aren’t around. 

Make Your Hubby Miss You FAQs

Turns out that how to make a husband miss me is not the only question many couples ask in regards to wanting their partners to want them more. Here are a few other related questions, complete with answers, you might want to check out.

How can I make my husband miss me like crazy?

Like all women, you want your husband missing you round the clock. Luckily, you don’t need to bend over backward to make it happen. It’s the little things that will have him going crazy for you. 

How can I make my husband miss me like crazy?

For example, don’t be coy about your feelings. Let him know how much he means to you. The fact that he knows you value him will make him think more about you. 

To add to this, you should tell him why you think he’s special, triggering the savior complex in him. When you are together, he will go out of his way to make you feel special. When you are apart, he will miss you badly. 

How do I get my husband to think of me when he’s away?

It’s true, absence might make the heart wander. So how do you make your husband miss you even when he is away? It’s simple, get him to look forward to your reunion. 

There are many ways you can go about this. For example, You can call out of the blue just to tell him you love him.

What’s more, you can leave a love note in his wallet or his coat pocket. He will miss you more when he reads it while you are away from home. 

Finally, you can hint that you have a surprise for him when he does come back home. He will have you in his thoughts even if he is far away from home for a long period of time. 

Final Thoughts

These nine points sum up how to make your husband miss you more. As you can clearly see, getting your husband to do that is not that hard. The trick is to make sure you are going about each step right. 

With these few tips, you can rest easy knowing that you have everything needed to rekindle his love for you. All the best! 

Learn What To Do And Cope When He Says He’s Done

Knowing what to do when he says he’s done is one of the hardest challenges to any relationship, but especially for a marriage. You may not believe him, you may become angry, or you may feel so sad you want to crawl into a hole and die, but you need to take action. 

You can cope, and you can win him back (if you so choose). Find out the why and how of dealing with it when your husband says he’s done.

How To Know He’s About To Say He’s Done?

When a marriage is going nicely, we tend to just sit back and enjoy the view. Yet, this is when we need to cement our relationship bonds and maintain healthy boundaries to ensure it’s an equal partnership. Knowing your marriage is in trouble is essential to pulling it back from the rocks and possible divorce. 

Signs that he is about to say he’s done with you include: 

Your Communication Becomes Vague

If he starts cutting off the communication lines, you can be sure he is withdrawing from your marriage. This includes not responding to text messages, emails, or conversations. While men tend not to be as communicative as women, we can see when they become distant. 

Your Intimacy Annoys Him 

A surefire sign that he’s about to boot you is when he doesn’t want to cuddle or pillow talk anymore. While the sex may continue, it won’t be as intimate as before. You will feel the distance as he becomes a stranger to you.

He No Longer Cares About You

He No Longer Cares About You

When my cat died and my husband only asked where I wanted her buried, I realized he was pulling away. He couldn’t be bothered to comfort me. Despite my tears and clear distress, his comfort was lacking or superficial. Emotionally, he had already detached from me. My pain made him uncomfortable. 

You may find your husband also follows this classic path of being vague, no longer cherishing intimacy and sensitive conversations, and no longer caring for your pain. Usually, this is not a sign that he’s an a-hole. Instead, it is a sure sign he is withdrawing. He is subconsciously moving you out of his life, and if you don’t pull him back, you will feel it when your husband says he’s done.

Why Would He Say He’s Done? 

There are a number of reasons why your boyfriend or husband may say he’s done. When he says he’s done with you, it may indicate that he has the following issues that are making him leave. 

He’s Tired Of Your Negativity 

This may be a bitter pill to swallow, but if you are constantly haranguing him, he will grow tired of that negativity. Being surrounded by negativity and criticism will cause him to walk out. 

He may decide he’s done with you simply because he doesn’t know how to tell you that your negativity hurts him. When he says he’s done, it may mean he’s tired of being brought down by you.

You’re Too Demanding

When you are constantly asking for things from your husband, you are placing emotional and psychological strain on him. It may be too overwhelming to meet all your demands. This can be overwhelming, and being unable to cope, he will feel he has no other choice but to leave.

He Has A Bigger Priority

If he is dealing with a bigger problem that is possibly pushing him to the limits and he doesn’t get your support, then he may have to limit other drains on his energy (aka you) by letting you go. 

This often happens when he feels like he is the designated driver in your marriage or relationship. He may be going through a job crisis, but he feels he can’t talk to you (since you keep spending his money like it’s Christmas all year), and so he feels he has no choice but to leave.

He’s An Introvert And Being Around People Is Too Much

Sometimes we all get the feeling like we want to go live on a deserted island, because we are just tired of people. What if he is feeling like that? Perhaps your nearness is too much for him, and you missed his signs that he needs a little space, so now he has to move you out of his life entirely. 

When he says he’s done, it doesn’t always mean it’s about you alone. It can also be because he simply can’t cope and you haven’t been supportive enough. 

3 Steps To Knowing What To Do When He Says He’s Done 

When you hear those dreaded words, “I’m done” from the lips of your husband, it can seem like the world has stopped. You have just heard the verdict no wife wants to hear, yet many do. So what now? What do you do now? You follow these steps and you cope.

Step One: Decide Whether You Want To Save Your Marriage Or Not 

Decide Whether You Want To Save Your Marriage Or Not

Evaluate your marriage, weighing up the good and the bad to decide whether you want to still remain married to your husband or not. Just because he has said he’s done doesn’t mean he is worth fighting for. You need to decide whether you want to keep your husband or not. You also need to accept that you may not be able to win him back, and you need to be okay with that if it happens. 

Whatever you decide, you need to take care of yourself first, so before you do anything else, do this!

Get Your Spark Back With Self-Care

You will feel like you’ve been through the grinder when you hear your husband say he’s done. It’s the worst insult, even if he doesn’t mean it like that, since you will feel like you aren’t good enough or that he doesn’t love you any more. This is when you need to take care of YOU.

Do at least three things each day that make you shine. Whether it is to take a long bath in the morning or listen to your favorite music while you get dressed, do something that makes you happy. 

This serves a dual purpose: If you decide you want to win back your husband, then your happiness will attract him. However, should you decide you don’t want to win him back and that divorce is the best choice, then this will help you cope by making you feel better about yourself.

Step Two: If You Want To Save Your Marriage 

Should you want to save your marriage, you should start by not doing any of the following: 

Don’t Tell Him It’s A Mistake

This is the best way to drive him further away! When you are telling him what to do or think, you are devaluing his experience, and it will only make him move further from you. Stop harassing him with text messages or calling nonstop. Respect that he feels what he feels and give him space. This is for you and him to figure out what is going on.

Don’t Buy Him Back

In our modern world, women are often the top earners in the family, and you buying him expensive gifts will only rub his nose in the fact that you earn more than him. This could be one of the reasons he no longer wants to be with you in the first place. A generous gesture may be well-meant, but it can also cause him to feel like you are trying to buy him back. 

Your husband may keep the gift, but not you if this is your solution to him being done with you. Rather work on your relationship than bring money into the equation.

Don’t Give Him Sex

Many women mistakenly believe they should instantly try to fix their marriage with sex. They are almost conditioned that if they give their husband as much sex as he could possibly want, he will stay. Newsflash: he won’t. 

While sex is something your husband may enjoy, it won’t change his mind, and it won’t keep him around past a few nights of passion. It will make you feel cheapened and won’t fix what is broken. 

So what do you do to save your marriage?

Do Limit Contact

This may sound counterintuitive, but it is quite simple. Your husband doesn’t want you, so let him see what life is like without you. Stop being present and supportive in his life. Combine this with generous helpings of being polite when you do have to interact. When you drop off the kids or you have to see him, be extra polite and kind, but don’t revolve around him. 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as the saying goes. Don’t sit there pining for him. Instead, continue with your life. Work on who you are, building a powerful character that is independent and strong. Men are attracted to strong women. It’s not about playing hard to get. Instead, it’s about being strong without him.

Do Win Him By Understanding His Love Language

Do Win Him By Understanding His Love Language

Each of us have our own love language. We choose to express affection in a certain way, whether it is by touching, speaking, or doing things. Find out what he likes. If he enjoys being touched, start by casually and comfortably touching him when you do meet. A flirting touch is going to turn his head more than asking that he comes back. 

If he is a rare man who likes to talk, then invite him for coffee and talk calmly WITH him. Avoid talking TO him. Avoid recrimination and instead practice listening to him. Express your gratitude with real and genuine acts like touching, hugging him, or a soft word. 

Do Listen To Him And Avoid Naysayers

We don’t live in isolation, and chances are that your husband and you have both been listening to the people in your circle: his friends and yours. They may not always understand what you are going through, and they may not offer the best advice for what is good for you or him. 

Start listening to each other. You are the one taking the initiative, so step up and listen to him. Listening takes courage and strength. He will value your commitment to really hear him out. Don’t listen with the intention to reply or change his mind. Instead, be what you were supposed to be from the start: his wife and best friend. Listen to him like you would listen to a dear friend, putting your hurt and emotional baggage aside for now. 

Do Propose To Him

This is not a marriage proposal. Instead, propose to enter into a contract of giving each other another shot. He may not want to commit, but this is okay. Instead of feeling pushed aside, ask him if he will give you a limited time period to see if you guys can still work things out. People are more willing to commit to something and work at it when there’s an end in sight.

He will be more willing to give your marriage another shot if you limit that trial to a period of a month or two. Be honest, promising you will both stick to the time frame. If it still doesn’t work between you two within that time, then do the honorable thing and leave.

Step Three: If You Don’t Want To Save Your Marriage 

Having engaged in self-care and rebuilt your self-esteem, you may decide you don’t want to remain in the marriage either. Don’t be surprised if your husband starts wanting you to stay with him when he had wanted you to leave. Your efforts to rebuild yourself will attract him. Don’t let this dissuade you. 

If you have decided that you are ready to move on, then stick to that decision. Don’t be a chew toy for his feelings to gnaw on. Instead, choose to leave. You deserve the best, and if that isn’t your husband, then you should leave.

What To Do When He Says He Is Done FAQs 

Having your husband dump you can make you feel confused and abandoned. Hearing him say he’s done with you can be humiliating, and you may not want to ask questions, yet you should.

How do you tell if he’s really done with you? 

If your husband is really ready to leave, you will notice a few signs that point to his disinterest and emotional disentanglement from your relationship. Look for these signs:

  • He becomes disinterested in spending time with you
  • When you ask him about his day, he becomes vague
  • He avoids intimacy and being close
  • When you ask him what’s going on, he will deflect your concerns
  • He is often away from home for no reason

Why do men lose interest? 

He may be unhappy or insecure in your marriage. Your husband may be detaching from you since he is not feeling satisfied and doesn’t know how to communicate this to you. He could also be having an affair to meet his needs, which means he is moving toward a new relationship.

How do I know if my breakup is final? 

There are a few signs that your breakup is indeed final:

  • When you separate, you both feel better
  • There is another person involved via an affair
  • You realize that you both have different values or ideals
  • There is emotional separation before physical separation
  • You remember the past and stressful events with your ex more than you remember good times 

Why do guys push you away when they love you?

In some rare instances, your husband saying he is done with you may indicate that he is actually struggling to deal with his love for you. Communication doesn’t come easily to us all, and he might be scared by his love for you, which is why he may be pushing you away. You will notice that he:

  • Fears he is failing you
  • The commitment scares him
  • He is dealing with stress that he fears will hurt you
  • There may be changes in your relationship, and he doesn’t know how to process these
  • He wants you to go for counseling, but he doesn’t know how to suggest this

The Final Moment Of Being Done 

The Final Moment Of Being Done

Hearing him break your heart by saying he’s done with you can be devastating. Don’t let this knock you down. Instead, rally your energy and make important decisions. 

  • Take care of yourself and rebuild your own self
  • Decide whether you want him back or not
  • Plan how you will win him back
  • Or move on toward your future without him if you don’t want to save your marriage

Have you or your friends survived a husband saying he’s done with the marriage? Do you know what to do when he says he’s done? Share your experiences in the comments below.