Robyn Lee

The biggest mistake that any woman can make in dating and relationships is thinking that a man operates in the same way she does. This is by far the biggest reason women have trouble getting the man they want.

For example, a woman may write a man a letter, bake him cookies, offer to take his clothes to the dry cleaners, because that’s what she would want from a man. But often times this just turns a man off because men enjoy the chase. If you make it too easy for him, you become very boring, this is one of the reasons you may not be attractive to the man you want, you’re just too easy.

Let me explain.

He’s Not Interested Because You’re Too Interested In Him

But doesn’t he want me to be interested in him? Yes, men like for women to be interested in them but in a different way than women think.

A lot of times women approach men like a job application, you may pick him out and determine that he’s the man you want regardless and you are going to work to get him. You almost fail every time when you have this attitude.

Men are turned off by women who will do anything to get their attention. Writing him letters, flirting with him aggressively, or making it obvious that you would do anything to get with him, takes away the chase.

Sure, he may take you up on your offer but the chance of you creating a beautiful, healthy relationship is minimal. And most likely sometime throughout your relationship you will find that the shy boy that you didn’t think was capable of approaching you, will be more than ready to approach another woman.

Don’t take away the chase from the man. It makes him feel good as well as you.

He’s Not Interested Because You’re Not Interested Enough

Wait, but didn’t you just say that you could be too interested? Yes, you can be too interested but you can also stop him from approaching you by not giving him some clear signals that you want him to start his pursuit.

This does not mean throwing yourself all over him, he just needs to know that if he approaches you he won’t be rejected.

This means that you should be giving good eye contact to the man you are interested in and a warm smile. But the key here is when you smile, look away briefly, and then smile again. One smile just won’t do it, he’ll think that you are being friendly and not necessarily that you want him to approach you.

This light flirting is very effective.

You’re Just Not His Type

What is his type? I don’t know, it’s different for every man. Make no mistake, men ARE NOT attracted to attractive women, but RATHER women they find attractive. This means that you can be beautiful and he still may not find you attractive.

Or you can feel that you aren’t the type, but actually you are exactly what he is looking for.

Choose from the men that find you attractive. If he doesn’t find you attractive initially, there is really nothing you can do within reasonable limits, unless it’s a weight issue, in that regards you can either gain a few pounds or lose a few pounds.

But if he is the only motivation for changing your appearance, you go back to being a woman who is too interested.

Men have a choice, don’t get angry at him or call him shallow if he is not attracted to you. Move on, men who are not attracted to you are not good mates. Pick from the pool of men who see you as beautiful, they’ll work harder to get you and keep you.

Next Page

I know how disheartening it can be to go out on a date with someone and have a good time only for them to be fickle about what they really want or to play games with you until you lose all attraction for them.

I wanted to share with you three simple ways you can make it virtually impossible for him to play games with you and how you can become so irresistible, he can’t help calling you for another date.

First things first, the number one killer for a great date is too much emotion involved. If you have a lot of emotion tied to finding “the one” or having a boyfriend and getting married before a certain age, your efforts at entering into a healthy relationship are already thwarted. It makes it so much more difficult when all your hopes and dreams are riding on your next few dates. You have got to release your need to find “the one” RIGHT NOW and then relax. I’ll be telling you how to make that easier as well.

Do You Have The Right Mindset To Date?

You’ve got to have the right mindset for dating initially. I have been very successful at interviewing in the past and my secret was that I went into the interview not caring what the outcome was either way. I even took it to another level; being more concerned about whether I was going to be interested in the job rather than if the job was interested in me. In my heart, I knew that my credentials were excellent and at some point they would match perfectly with an employer, so interviewing just seemed like a fun time for me to get to know the company to see if our goals matched. Because of that mindset, I have had numerous job offers and a couple of companies even wanted me to sign to be a part of their organization before I even left their office.

It’s the same with dating. Every man you date is not going to be “the one”. You are being open to someone who is kind to you and where your goals match. If you want to be in a monogamous committed relationship then you won’t want to waste precious time continuing to date someone where your goals don’t match. It’s going to be an uphill battle and changing someone is nearly impossible unless they are already on that road.

1. Scheduling Is Everything

This has worked for me time and time again. This strategy is so effective and I use it all the time for business meetings, dates with friends, and even with my husband.

What really makes this strategy fun is that it helps you to put yourself first and prioritize your life. You want to practice filling your calendar. If you already have a lot going on this will be easy, but if you are less busy, practice filling your calendar with the routine things you do daily or weekly. If you workout, put that in your calendar. You enjoy cooking dinner or reading a book, put that there too. Do you have a time when you play with your kids? Add that as well as any doctor’s appointments, scheduled conversations with friends, etc… The point is to fill your calendar so you aren’t available 24/7.

When he asks you out, check your calendar and give him two to three dates that work for you. Try to avoid making them all at night, especially on the weekend. I would give him two dates at first and then one that you may be able to do if you juggle some things around.

One of the things that increases attraction is limited availability of something, and in this case it is you. If you execute this strategy effectively, it’s going to increase his interest and you are becoming irresistible in his eyes.

For this strategy to work well, don’t just make up things, really put yourself first. When you do this it will be authentic and truthful and he will see that he needs to value you as well.

I used this strategy in my last interview and the employer wanted to grab the first time that I had available because they were afraid that if they waited until next week, I would not be available. They ended up presenting me an offer on the spot.

2. Fill Your Funnel

You know how a funnel is large at the top and then gradually allows a smaller amount of liquid to seep through at the bottom?

That’s what needs to happen during dating. Dating is easier to enjoy when you have a few prospects. If you are just going out with ONE person, then everything depends on whether you like him or he likes you.

But if you allow yourself to date several people, not be in a relationship with, but date, you will find that the process is a lot more fun and you are more relaxed and easy going on dates. As you date the person more and more you will be able to determine whether he keeps moving through the funnel or if you need to pour him out.

Also, there’s something about a girl that has options. She becomes more attractive.

3. Be True To Yourself

This may be the most important. You have to be honest and clear about what you want. But you want to be creative in how you disseminate the information. You don’t want to make it seem that you are looking to him specifically to provide everything you want; you are just describing your perfect candidate, whoever it is. You want to get your picture clear so he can see if he is willing to fit in it or not and more importantly so he wants to fit in it.

It’s the same thing that companies do when they tell you about a position. They rarely reveal the annoying parts of the work or things that may not attract the best talent. They keep it positive and appealing.

How can you make your picture appealing? “I’m really just looking for someone that enjoys life like I do that wants to work together to support each other in our goals.” What does your picture look like?

Don’t waver on what you want, this is the part that eliminates the game playing. You don’t always have to tell a man what you want; actions are more powerful than words. If he calls you at 3:00 in the morning, if you answer, you are communicating to him that it is o.k.

Dating is supposed to be fun, but with that you shouldn’t compromise the things you want just to be likable.

Top 4 Secrets To Attract Men Fast: Which should you try?

If you want to discover the secrets to how to attract a man that is perfect for you, you have to understand that each woman has different assets, talents, and capabilities.

It is just not practical or healthy to want to be someone you are not. Each one of us was born with specific features, talents, and capabilities that no one else can match.

Each woman has her own unique character and in order to find out how to attract a man, you have to be comfortable with what you have to offer and also know what you want in a man.

If you want to learn how to attract a man naturally, please read this 4 tips on how to attract your soul mate:

What Brand Are You?

We are all familiar with certain brands. They let us know what a certain product is about and what we can expect from that product. T.J. Maxx is known for having inexpensive but fashionable clothing. Walmart is known for having the lowest prices in the market. BCBG is known for it’s quality of clothing and it’s forward fashion sense.

So what is your brand? What makes you special and stand out from the crowd? The important thing here is the understand that all of these aforementioned stores have their very own clientele, and all are successful in their business. The key point here is that they ALL MAKE SALES. So even if you don’t believe you have the best body type, or are the most witty lady out there, there is something you possess that makes you unique.

These positive unique features are what is going to make you stand out, if you work them correctly. The first key step if your goal is to learn how to attract a man is to take inventory of yourself and write down all the wonderful things about you. After you have compiled a list of about 20, cut it down to 5 and carry these in your purse or post them on your mirror so you are reminded of what a wonderfully unique human being you are and how lucky the world is to have your contribution.

Is Attitude Really Everything?

Your attitude has a lot to do with how many men will have the guts to approach you. Are you smiling at people you meet? Are you stand offish or lack the proper self confidence to get him to make the first move? Examine your attitude. Survey a few of your friends and see how you are coming off to other people. You might feel that you are being cordial to people you meet but your friends will be able to let you know better how you come across to other people if you are seeking honest answers.

If you want to learn how to attract a man effectively, it might just be a slight change that needs to be made to get more attention from the guy you have your eyes on. Women with attractive attitudes smile at other people, even if they don’t think they will smile back, they are confident enough to know that their self worth is not defined by how many reciprocal smiles they get. Women with attractive attitudes also make others feel good about themselves by giving genuine compliments and showing a genuine interest in others. If you do these two things you make men more comfortable to come up an talk to you.

Are you really perfect the way you are now?

There are a million things we would all like to change about ourselves but we must come to a place where we appreciate ourselves for who we are and if there are things that need to be changed, we take initiative and write an action plan to reach our goals. Beyond that you shouldn’t beat yourself up over past hurts and failures. If you want to learn how to attract a man, don’t let your past control your wonderful future.

Keep on moving forward and decide that you love yourself just the way you are, even if you don’t meet a man, or lose 30 pounds, or reach your career goals in the next six months. People who love themselves are always surrounded by people who enjoy their company. Be the best you. People will love you for it.

What is it that you want?

If you don’t have a clear vision written down of you want out of a relationship, how will you ever find it? You have to be clear about what you want in a relationship in order to learn how to attract a man. Knowing what you want will not only help you find your perfect match but it will also alleviate a lot of hurt and pain caused by getting involved with the wrong person and going through an uncomfortable breakup.

This list should not be what you think your family of friends think will be best for you, it should be what you truly want.

I spoke before about a 7 year “crush” that I had at one point in my life. It was pretty much ridiculous and in hindsight I should have known at the very least that this guy was not “available” to like me, he had a girlfriend. But I am grateful for the experience, because after this crush, it was difficult for any guy again to “trick” me into allowing them to dominate my thoughts for an extended period of time.

It’s so funny how life works because to this day we are still very good friends and what I wanted in the past as far as him initiating contact, us going out, and him being a part of my life has all happened for me. And by getting to know him more deeply, I found that if we had gotten together in a romantic way, I would be a nervous wreck right now and we probably would have greatly stunted the other’s growth and made each other completely miserable.

If you are reading this post, chances are that your love interest has at least been friendly to you in order for you to question whether he sees you as relationship material. I know how frustrating it can be for a man to give us mixed signals as to whether he is into us or not. I want to share with you the top 5 ways to tell if he attracted to you and whether he sees you as more than a friend. In addition, I want to give you a couple of tools to move things along if you are still unsure, and how to clear your mind of him if you determine, “he’s just not that into you”.

5. Stare Down

He can’t stop looking at you. Although you can’t take this sign and run with it, if you catch a man looking at you in an amorous or loving way, this could be a sign that he sees you as more than a friend. Maybe you have turned around and caught him staring at you more than once. Unfortunately, you can’t count having a face to face conversation as him staring.

But you do want to be careful with this sign. A man can be attracted to you but not necessarily want a relationship with you. He could just want to be intimate, which should not be mistaken as him wanting something long term.

4. Are you listening?

Another way to tell if he sees you as more than a friend is if he repeats your thoughts and desires back to you. One of the things my husband did when we were first going out was to point out houses to me and say, you wouldn’t like that house because it looks too much like the house next to it. Or, that’s a nice apartment building, but I know you would never live there because you don’t like the neighborhood. This not only signaled that he was listening to me, but it also suggested that he saw me in his future, because he made it clear that if I didn’t like it, he didn’t see himself there either.

If he is repeatedly expressing your thoughts back to you, he may be interested, but you will need other clues as well because good friends do the same thing.

3. Are you taken?

When you first meet him, he may find clever ways to see if you are attached to someone or if you are taken. He may come right out and say, “Do you have a boyfriend?”, my husband asked “Are you married?” Or he may be a little bit more clever with his approach by assuming you do and letting you correct him.

If he never asks you about your relationship status or doesn’t care, this is a red flag. It’s not flattering for someone to try to initiate a relationship with you when you are attached to someone else. What is this saying about his morals? Does he believe it is ok to cheat? So what will he do when he is with you?

Even if you are in a horrible relationship, a man who is open to the type of commitment you want, will not try to save you from your relationship. He will expect that you value yourself enough to end the relationship without a promise of a relationship from him.

2. Initiation

The scales will be greatly uneven for a man who sees you as more than a friend. He won’t mind contacting you two or three times before you contact him. He will want to get to know you more. He won’t be able to help talking to you.

Here’s a fatal mistake a lot of women make, and of course I know, because I’ve made it too. Just because you are contacting him and he is happy to hear from you doesn’t mean that he is necessarily into you. Actually contacting him too much can decrease his attraction for you. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that he is really shy or he’s too busy to pick up a phone or log onto the internet to contact you.

The worse way to find out that he really wasn’t that into you, is to expend all your energy trying to make it easy for him to know that you are a worthy candidate, only to see him in action with someone he truly likes. For example, you’ve been contacting him and asking him to go places with you and then you find out that he’s purchased a bouquet of flowers for the woman that he really likes or he asks you for your advice on what another woman might like. Don’t fall for it! Even shy men won’t let the love of their life get past them or even someone that they are really attracted to.

1. The Most Sure Fire Way

If he sees you as more than a friend, he will ask you out. Yes, he will ask you out on a date. I’m not talking about going out with a group of friends. I’m talking about you and him together, that’s it. I’m not talking about discussing a term paper over coffee because you’re the best student in the class, I’m talking about a date.

Well, what if he’s showed me other signals that aren’t mentioned here? There very well may be other reasons why you feel that he is into you and my suggestion is to always find out for sure so you aren’t spending your time allowing him to occupy your mind if he has no interest in you.

A couple of things you can do depending on your comfort level is, you can ask him out. You can say “We should go out sometime”. What is his reaction? Does he try to help you schedule the date or does he say “Sure” and then not mention it again. After you go out, is he the next one that requests a date or does he try to forget it ever happened?

Or, and this is the way that I found out my 7 year “crush” had no interest is, you can point blank ask him. Do you like me? This was one of the most freeing days of my life, because that was the day I could release myself and my mind so I was able to allow someone else to occupy the picture of Mr. Robyn.

My suggestion is to not let the unanswered go on for too long because you want to avoid keeping viable prospects out of your life because you have saved a space for someone is not interested in occupying it.