After you’ve gone on a few dates with a guy you like, it’s easy to feel a little insecurity start seeping in. You find yourself overthinking everything, reading into even the smallest interactions to see if he feels the same way you do. When you’re looking for a serious relationship, you definitely don’t want to waste your time investing in someone who might just be caught up in his initial feelings of lust – instead, you want to get inside his head and look for signs he wants to be exclusive.
The tricky thing is, men are afraid of rejection, too – it’s hard to be honest and tell someone how you feel about them. Knowing how to tell if he wants a relationship can give you the confidence you need to initiate that conversation and go from being his casual date to his exclusive girlfriend.
There are some telltale signs he wants a serious relationship with you – but you’ve got to know what to look for.
1. He starts introducing you to the important people in his life.
Whether that’s his friends, his mom, his kids, or his coworkers, when he’s not afraid to bring you along with him when he spends time with these people, he’s thinking of you as a partner. This is an opportunity for him to see how you interact with the other people he cares about, so he can get a better idea of how you might fit into his life on a long-term basis. If you’re still not sure if he’s thinking about you as a potential girlfriend, you can take this as a sure sign.
2. He talks to you about his future plans – and includes you in them.
When his goals and dreams involve “we” instead of “me,” you can feel confident that he wants a serious relationship with you. He’s hoping that months or years from now, you’ll still be an important part of his life – and he’s making plans around that hope. When he brings up possibilities for the future and asks for your opinion or advice, it’s a sign that he wants you to be his girlfriend. He probably also wants to see what a life with you might look like – do you have similar goals and values?
3. He makes you a priority.
Of course, other parts of his life will be important – he’s not going to stop spending time with his friends or wanting some private down-time now and then – but you’ll know where you stand. If you’re looking for signs he wants a relationship, pay attention to the way he treats you.
A guy who wants a serious girlfriend is going to invest in the relationship by spending time with you, and he’ll want to keep in touch with you throughout the day. This doesn’t mean he’s going to text you constantly, but he’ll respond to your messages promptly and check in if he hasn’t heard from you in a while.
This article in Glamour brings up a good point – while it might be tempting and even empowering to make the first move and initiate conversations or future dates, by taking the progression of the relationship into your own hands, you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to see how he feels. Instead, give him some space and let him show his interest. If he wants a serious relationship with you, he wants to court you – so let him!
4. He does everyday things with you.
“Netflix and chill” doesn’t have to mean that he just sees you as a potential hook-up. When a guy is comfortable with you and wants to be exclusive, he’ll take a step back from the busy, expensive dating scene and look for opportunities to relax. That doesn’t mean he won’t still want to treat you to a nice dinner or a night out dancing, but he’ll also want to spend more time at home – getting take out, hanging out in his sweats, and seeing you in a more natural setting.
Grocery shopping and running errands don’t have to be a chore – if he’s taking you along with him while he does these everyday things, he’s showing signs that he wants to take his relationship with you a step further.
5. He wants you to depend on him – and shows you that you can.
When a man is serious about his relationship, he starts to feel protective of his partner. If your guy is willing to be a source of emotional support for you, it’s a great way to tell that he’s ready for a girlfriend.
Guys who aren’t interested in anything more than a casual fling won’t want to hear about your stresses at work or drama with your family – but a man who wants to be in a relationship with you will encourage you to tell him about what might be upsetting you, and he’ll want to help fix it. And not only will he want you to depend on him, he’ll give you a reason to. Showing you that he is consistent and reliable, he’ll go the extra mile to make sure you know you can count on him.
These little behaviors are a helpful way to tell if a man is interested in a serious relationship, but keep in mind that every guy will express himself differently. If you’ve looked for these signs in your relationship and you’re still not sure if he’s ready to make you his girlfriend, Mathew Boggs has a great YouTube video that talks you through how you can open up a conversation with your man to figure it out.
An important thing to remember is that it really never hurts to just be honest about it – if you ask your man if he’s looking for a serious relationship with you and it scares him off, that’s not the kind of guy you want to be with, anyway. A good man won’t run from a question like that. The man you want to date will want to talk to you about this stuff, so you can build solid communication skills right off the bat and develop a strong foundation for your budding relationship.
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