We’ve all been there, and it is honestly the worst place to be. Whatever reason it may be that you are asking yourself this question and trying to work your way through these difficult, tumultuous emotions, we’re here for you.
It’s incredibly difficult to invest your time, thoughts and feelings into someone and then, for any number of reasons, have to mentally, emotionally, and maybe even physically cut yourself off from them. Depending on how close you were with this person, it can be painful and seem impossible for awhile.
Sometimes there is no blame to place. It could be his fault, your fault, or nobody’s fault. You two may have just not been meant to be, or you may be meant to find something much better. It’s much harder to get over something like this when the situation did not work out because of circumstances out of your control. Life will go on!
Regardless, there is no rush to find the next greatest thing, or greatest guy, in your life. Give yourself this time to appropriately heal and move past this chapter in your life. Don’t know where to start? Read on for some tips as to how to stop liking a guy and, better yet, how to get a guy off your mind.
Distance Yourself
Yes, distance can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make the heart care a lot less. If you’re typically around this guy a lot or talk to him consistently, start taking a new route and, even more importantly, stop putting yourself in situations where you will see him. Don’t respond if he tries to reach out via text or social media.
If he becomes less a part of your everyday routine, odds are it will be much easier to establish a new routine and lifestyle that does not include him.
Now, this is not to say that you have to be rude. There are ways to distance yourself and be polite at the same time. If this is a possibility in your specific situation, then you definitely should do your best to make it as clean of a break as possible.
Depending on what the circumstances are, if he continues to reach out to you to the point where you are having a hard time pulling away, have an honest conversation about it. An example of this situation could be if you have feelings for him and he has expressed that he doesn’t. You should take this initiative to communicate that you need time away from him to help yourself move past this situation so, hopefully, you two can be friends again.
Surround Yourself With Supportive People
Odds are, if this guy meant something to you, you will have told at least one person in your life. There is nothing wrong with going to this person for support or reaching out to them when you’re feeling upset and vulnerable about the situation. Good friends are supposed to be there for you no matter what..
If, for some reason, you didn’t tell anyone that you were super into this guy, now is the time to open up to someone about it. They may not fully understand your emotion simply because you haven’t told them anything up to this point. However, sometimes an objective third party will be able to give you perspective and advice that someone emotionally invested, firsthand or otherwise, would not be able to provide.
Write a List of Things You Liked and Disliked About Him
I know, it might seem a little ridiculous to solve the problem of how to stop liking a guy by writing a list of all his good qualities that attracted you in the first place, but hear me out. Admit it, you probably think about this guy most of the day, right? Instead of all of these great qualities, memories, and thoughts about him swimming around in your head, put it down on paper. Symbolically pull the obsession out of your mind and put it somewhere else.
Conversely, writing down all of the qualities that you didn’t find so attractive will help you realize that maybe, after all, he was not the guy for you. Not only that, but you will know moving forward what qualities are important to you in a partner in the future.
Journal It Out
Yes, here we go with the pen and paper again. It’s old school, but it really works! Journaling is a proven method to help you work through any emotions you may be feeling. Don’t just take my word for it. Check out this article that talks about writing as a therapy and all of the benefits it can have for someone working through a difficult situation!
Give it a try. A journal won’t judge you. A journal won’t get sick of you talking about your situation. Not only that, but in the future, it will be an enlightening experience to go back and read about everything you were feeling in moment. You’ll be able to learn from your journal and how it helped you move forward.
Focus On Yourself
Yes, it’s possible! Your beauty and success is not dependent on whether or not whatever you had going on with this guy works out in the long run. Instead of spending all of your energy on whatever it may be that led you to this point of having to get over him, focus on making the things in your life the best they can be.
- Throw all of your brain power into your job. Show your bosses your dedication and that you are willing to put extra time and effort into your everyday tasks and special projects.
- Plan after-work activities that will keep your mind occupied and that you will genuinely enjoy! Visit a museum, try a new restaurant or bar, sign up to be a volunteer for a local charity.
- Plan a night out with your girlfriends. The possibilities are endless; you can go dancing, try a new bar for happy hour, go to movies, etc.
- Work it out! Literally. Join a gym or go for a walk outside. Not only is it good for your body, but exercise is proven to boost endorphins and help clear your mind.
Put Yourself Out There
You may not want to do this right away, but examining your options and meeting other people can be a great way to stop liking one specific guy. Nowadays, there are several dating apps that you can give a try (no judgement, we promise). Or, if that isn’t your thing, put yourself out there by going out to a bar and talking to the cute guys. There is nothing wrong with a little confidence boost!
You don’t have to date every guy you talk to on Bumble, or start a serious relationship with every person you go on a date with. It can be fun and teach you a lot about yourself, your dating style, and what you want in a partner.
Once you start meeting other people, you will very likely, naturally start thinking of the original guy much less.
So, what are you waiting for? Get out there girl!
For more advice on how to stop liking a guy, check out this super helpful YouTube video that both complements and adds to the tips above:
Yes, it was created by a guy, but didn’t he have some great insight?
When all is said and done, avoiding or stopping your feelings for someone is no easy task. We cannot control our feelings. If there was a simple “STOP” button to shut off our emotions, life would be a lot easier, right? However, since there obviously is not, the only thing that will help this situation is if you give yourself time. It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to be a little obsessed for awhile. It’s okay to have the urge to do everything you can to “make him” like you.
You deserve someone who isn’t going to make you have these feelings. You deserve someone who won’t make you wish you had that fictional “STOP” button. I have no doubt that you will have that, and having gone through this process, will have made the journey all worthwhile.
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