He is leaving soon for a few months and I think the reason he hasn’t asked me out is that he doesn’t want me to wait for him.
So how do I let him know that I am for sure interested and wouldn’t mind waiting on him?
Guest Poster: Marvin Barrett
Marvin helps single women identify and avoid dating non-committal men and find their Mr. Right. He coaches women to identify the best places to meet the right men for them, read the signals men display when uncommitted and how to attract the right guy to approach them. Learn how to meet and find the right man for you.
Looking at your question I get the impression that you’re playing a dangerous of “assumption n seek” You’re making assuming conclusions but are still seeking assurances.
There are 2 reasons why I say this is:
1. You give no real indicator of the actual signs he’s giving you, which leads me to question what are those signs exactly.
2. Despite you picking up on his signs, you haven’t let him know that you’re interested.
The big question here is, if you know that the signs he’s been giving you suggest that he does likes you, why haven’t you made him know that you’re also interested in him and will wait for him?
Equally, if the signs you say he’s giving you are ones of interest, then your lack of response in letting him know is probably telling him that you’re not interested.
How he will see it is, if he’s showing you signs and you’re picking up on them but not giving anything back that says “Yeah, I like you too”, then he won’t make any further moves. He will take your lack of action as a sign of disinterest and won’t risk possible rejection by asking you out.
It’s difficult to say whether or not he likes you because I have no information on the signs you’re receiving from him which make it virtually impossible to look any further into it.
But if I were to work on your assumption that he does like you and the signs you’ve been getting are ones of genuine interest then I would suggest that you do the following:
1. Arrange a time to both meet up as soon as possible and just hang out like you normally would.
2. Talk to him about his trip away.
3. At some point during the two of you talking about his trip away, pose him a hypothetical question. Ask him “If he met a woman whilst away that he really liked and they got along really well and believed things could work out, would he consider a relationship with her?”
What you’re looking for here is where his mind is at in terms of women and relationships. Keep the conversation general and avoid putting the spotlight on the two of you for a little while.
You need to know where his mind is at. A man who’s jetting off somewhere for a few months is not likely to be thinking about women and relationships of a serious nature, so try and gauge where he’s at mentally and then make your own call based on what he tells you but avoid telling him about you and how you’d wait for him, it looks desperate.
If you gauge his levels of readiness and it seems relatively open, then pursue the conversation further.
If he says he would start a relationship with her all things being well, you now have a good insight into what and how he’s thinking. He’s open to the idea of a relationship.
You now know he’s thinking on the levels you like, so you can now direct your conversations about the two of you but I would recommend you still remain hypothetical in your conversation and make light humour out of it because you want to see his response without any of you feeling pressured or awkward.
Say something like: “I can’t believe you’re really going away and allowing these other men to whisk me away.”
Remember, you’re not being serious here but you want a response and this would be after you’ve gauged his levels of readiness.
The idea here is, make him think about you whilst away so when he comes back you’re the first person on his mind.
Avoid making assumptions about some of the signs he may show you. Get into his mind. Figure out where he is at mentally in regards to women and relationships and then the next steps for you should be clearer.