I felt if I gave him a foot of space, he would go somewhere else and not come back. Which seems to happen to me more often than not.
I’m having trouble meeting men who will stick around. Things aren’t looking up yet. I’m using dating sites. I’m not a club person and I don’t have a lot of money to go out. What do you suggest I do to get a date and to keep him interested?”
Guest Poster: Marvin Barrett
Marvin helps single women identify and avoid dating non-committal men and find their Mr. Right. He coaches women to identify the best places to meet the right men for them, read the signals men display when uncommitted and how to attract the right guy to approach them. Learn how to meet and find the right man for you.
First things first.
If you give a man a foot of space and he decides to go elsewhere, good riddance. He’s just saved you many months or years of pain. If you can’t give a man a foot of space without fearing he won’t come back, then he ain’t right for you – period!
So don’t get too hung up on that.
However, for your own benefit, you may want to look at why these men are bailing out on you at the first sign of space.
Is it because you come across needy or desperate? Are you sending out needy and desperate signals? Believe it or not, men can generally tell when a woman is insecure and has a “I want a man today” complex. Just as women can tell a guy who’s motives are just about sex, it shows in their behaviour. Could this be happening to you?
Are you picking up “low value men”? One potential problem may be that the men you’re attracting may be insecure people also. Men who prey on a woman’s vulnerability. (e.g players, womanisers, losers etc). These men typically like women who they feel are needy. It boosts their ego and it is easier work for them.
Where or how are you meeting these men? Often, where we meet people can influence the way we interact with them. As a result, we tend to associate certain thoughts and feelings towards the people we meet along with the environment we met them in.
The same guy could meet you in two different places and have two different perceptions of you. In order to identify ideal places to meet your Mr Right, you’ll
need to have a firm picture in your mind of the type of person he is and what is likely to interest him, so that you can position yourself in those places. By the way, these do not need to be places that cost you money either.
Let me just round off a few key tips for you to think about when it comes to keep a man interested:
1. Have interesting things to talk about – nothing worse than an attractive woman who has got very little to add in a way of conversation. The best things to talk about are generally things you’re passionate about and love learning more about. Avoid boring mumbo jumbo like jobs, tv, gossip etc. I know it usually is of interest to most women for several reasons but before that show you have substance.
2. Show Your Sense of Humour Often – In my experience and hearing from other men, men love to be around women who know how to have a laugh and can engage in banter. If you can do that, you’ll go a long way in making a man feel comfortable and alive in your presence.
3. Don’t always be available to him – I know this seems a bit like “game playing” and maybe it is. After all, relationship building should be fun otherwise what’s the point right? Carry on with your life. You had a life before he came into it, so don’t forget that. Keep yourself occupied, don’t always be available to meet him on his terms. Switch it up occasionally. Basically, don’t become too predictable otherwise you won’t represent a worthy chase in his eyes.
The key to keeping people interested in anything life, not just relationships, is to keep things fresh. Do things differently every now and then. Take a break from it and return to it more keener. When you’re together, be engaged. Be present. Be curious about the dynamics between you. Share your stories and experiences with enthusiasm and passion and listen to his with the same. To me, it’s the very simple stuff that matters most but it’s the simple stuff that is often overlooked.
Last and not least, have fun. Don’t forget your worth and value either. Whilst you want to keep him interested, show that your also a woman worth being interested in also. The 3 tips above will help along your way and keep you focused on the right things.