Alright, maybe I went a little bit overboard on the title but what I’m about to share with you is extremely important in relationships and attraction. If you don’t know how to do this properly, it will be very difficult for you to keep the attraction going in a new relationship or even a more seasoned one.
This concept that I’m about to share is so simple, yet so extremely effective. It’s extremely effective – no it’s not a typo, it’s just that important that I had to repeat it twice.
Here it goes…
The following technique is so vital to relationship success that if you completely ignore it, you WILL be labeled as “needy” or “easy”.
Neither term is flattering.
Last week, I actually received an email from a woman thanking me because she had used this technique effectively to bring attraction back into her relationship.
After she had implemented it in her dating life, the guy she was dating took her out to a nice restaurant and created a very romantic evening for her. But the kicker is – he didn’t even live in the same state as her.
What would cause a man to travel across state lines and wine and dine a woman he is dating?
Ok, as I’m writing, I’m thinking of a couple of things that would make a man do that, BUT that wasn’t the reason.
He did it because she implemented the following technique effectively.
It’s simple, it’s called space.
She gave him space.
I remember her contacting me in frustration telling me how the guy she was dating was into her one minute and then when she reciprocated what she felt, he would pull back a little.
If you dated anyone for some time, you know that this happens, even when you are in the relationship with the person.
I actually recommended a book to her that explained how to pull back effectively. It’s one by Sherry Argove, Why Men Love *itches. Most libraries and bookstores carry it, but if you want to read it I suggest you check out or buy yours now, this information gets sent to a lot of women.
The book does a good job on explaining how to pull back and grow attraction effectively. But, if you’re going to pick up this book, I suggest you read it together with Men Made Easy by Kara Oh (available online for immediate download). The reason is this book is heavy on pulling away which sometimes, if done too much can cause a man to pursue other women, because he will deem you as not interested or playing games.
Men Made Easy is going to balance that out perfectly. So when you come back together from pulling away you are giving him the 12 essentials that he needs for him to continue pursuing you, even if you are in a relationship.
This is going to be a powerful combination, so only use it on men you want to fall deep for you.
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he was so into me we, did travel togheter had an amazing time, afterwards he still invite me over his house, and have dinner, etc.. but suddenly he went cold and distance, and only for cpuple of times he become hot againg and then cold… so i dont understand what would i do?. , to make him feel the connection tours me?
Should i call him?, or text him?… i dont know what to do?
Hi Aly!
You are thinking too much about him and not enough about yourself. When you change your focus and start thinking about what will make you happy and what activities you can incorporate into your life to keep you busy, you will find you won’t notice the hot and cold that much.
AND in addition you will find this will actually bring him closer to you:)
Robyn
Wait for him to call you. If you don’t hear from him in two weeks. Just send a text that say hi. That happened to me and he called within five minutes. Good luck
These games make me tired
Hi Hannah!
Yes, I admit, it can seem like this involves “game playing” but it’s actually human psychology. Yes, it would be easier if a man could just see your value and be into you all the time, but rarely will you find a man like this.
It’s a new way of thinking, and once you learn how to do it effectively, it will seem less like playing games and more of providing what a man needs to bring him closer:)
Thanks for your comment!
But this isn’t at all what I need
Hi Hannah,
I think Robyn is right here. What you need is to focus less on how this guy is acting or what you are doing right or wrong. Just live and make yourself happy. What is most attractive about a woman is that she has her own life. No matter how much you like a guy, they can feel it when you are over thinking. I used to be that girl, who over thought everything. Would analyze every little thing a guy did and said. I would wonder what it meant if he was flirting or playing hot and cold. To the point where my friends even noticed the only thing on my mind was a guy I liked. When I stopped worrying and analyzing and started living my life focusing on myself, what I wanted from life (other then a relationship) that is when I saw a change and was happier… and this is what is attractive to a man.
I do have one question to throw Robyn’s way if she has a chance to read this. I completely embaressed myself twice infront of the man I am currently interested in. We work together and have adopted a similar group of friends. We all go to the bar after work friday nights since september. In the past two months I got to drunk twice (which is obviously a no no in any situation especially involving coworkers) and embaressed myself. Do you think I can pull back from this to gain back attraction? And I want to add I love all of your articles they are so inspiring, informative and really have helped in the overall picture of relationships.
Hi Vanessa,
Thank you for sharing your story and your kind words. It warms my heart to know that these lessons are helping real women out there. I appreciate you being a part of my mini course and for you posting on the blog.
Getting drunk in front of a coworker or any date is a no no. Now that you have done it, you can’t take it back, so you have to forgive yourself and move on:) The best you can do is to “not be that girl anymore”. This means that moving forward you drink what you can handle or don’t drink at all. And you don’t entertain conversations about what you did when you were drunk in the past. You can ignore them or brush them off and say “that’s so not me anymore – I don’t know what I was thinking”. Don’t let anyone define you as someone you don’t identify with. Hope that makes sense – and good luck with your coworker:)
Robyn