Robyn Lee

Dating Without Commitment (And How To Get Him to Commit)

3 Simple Ways To Deal With A Man Who Won’t Commit

Dear Robyn,

I’ve been seeing this guy for 9 months now and he still hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend.

Over the summer, I found out that he had a girlfriend, and they had been together for 5 or so years.

He explained to me his situation: he wasn’t emotionally or physically attached to his LONG-DISTANCE GIRLFRIEND. He broke up with her, but I recently found out that he is still talking to her!

I love this guy, but don’t know what to do. Maybe he hasn’t moved on? If that’s the case, should I drop him? I don’t know what his plans are but he tells me everyday that he loves me very much.

Help me.

Note: If you are dealing with a man who doesn’t want to commit, it may be helpful to be able to understand what’s on his mind and even if you will ever be the type of woman he will be able to commit to. That’s why I also recommend that you check out my advanced attraction techniques.

Dear A,

Dating is like a good game of chess. You don’t have to be a chess fan to know that in order to win you have to think strategically and two or three moves ahead.

This doesn’t mean that you are playing games with the other person, but it does mean that you should have a clear image of what you want before you start giving of yourself. You have to have an end goal in mind.

Whether that end goal is a relationship moving towards marriage or just a committed relationship is all up to you. But you have to know before you start getting emotionally involved.

A lot of women get in trouble because they meet a man and instead of listening to what he actually says about where he is on the relationship spectrum, we listen while all the time believing we can change him to our liking.

This will always fail, and you will always be unhappy if you do this.

It sounds like in your situation, he is very comfortable not having a commitment with you and still being able to communicate with his long time girlfriend.

I’m not sure if your “significant other” told you before that he wasn’t ready to settle down, but if a man says that he most likely means it. You should run fast if a committed relationship is what you want.

If this is not the case and he has expressed an interest in being exclusive with you, here is what you need to do.

1.Decide on what you want – What do you want from him? Do you want a committed relationship or are you fine with you guys just hanging out and without a title? Chances are since you wrote the letter that you want a commitment.

2.Commitment Conversation – Have a conversation with him. This conversation should be held in during the daylight hours. If you are having the conversation at night while kissing or more, it is less likely that his answer will be honest. You should say something like this…

Ex. “I am willing to be in a long term, committed relationship that has the possibility of ending in marriage that does not include regular communication with your ex girlfriend.” And then ask him. “ Are you?”

Or, if you are not looking for a marriage relationship just a committed one you can say…

Ex. “I am willing to be in an exclusive, committed relationship that doesn’t include regular communication with your ex.” “Is this something that you want?”

This might seem very forward but it gets to the point. There is no room for misinterpretation.

Before becoming intimate with someone (having sex), you should make clear what your goals are.

If he can agree to a relationship with ONLY you that is long term and ongoing, only then should intimacy be discussed.

If he just wants it to be a one time thing, then it is best to part ways. Usually it will be tough for a man to lie to you about wanting a long term commitment. Most men will disappear after a few days if this is all they want and you have expressed that you want a committed relationship.

If you have already been intimate with him, I suggest you have the same conversation and if he says that he is not comfortable with being in an exclusive, long term relationship with you, let him know that it is best for you guys to part ways because you do not feel comfortable giving of yourself without a commitment.

3.Playing the Waiting Game – After you have had your conversation, there is a chance that he will decide that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Respect his decision and give him time to think. If he has not called you after 2 months to tell you that he DOES in fact want a long term relationship, it is time for you to date other men.

Girlfriend to Girlfriend: Really, you have to ask yourself if the reason him and his ex broke up was just because of the distance. If it was, what happens if she comes back or moves into the same city.Without a clear commitment, you will be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

He Doesn’t Want To Get In A Relationship?! 3 Reasons Why

Are You Recognizing His Inability To Commit To A Relationship?

Dear Robyn,

I’ve been seeing a guy for almost 10 months and at first I didn’t really like him. He had a crush on me for 2 years and I finally decided to give him a chance and see if he was “the one”. We aren’t in a relationship and I have been single for 4 years.

He says the way his life is right now he doesn’t want to go down that road until he gets himself in order. Before we were just friends and we still are great friends. I really like him and I just want to know if I should stick around or should I give up? I don’t want to rush anything because we’ve been pretty good despite our arguments which stem from me wanting to be in a relationship with him, but I stopped once I had a talk with him about some things that were on my mind. So do you think I should let him go or continue pursuing? Andrea

Note: If you find that you are confused by the things that your man does, check out my advanced attraction techniques. Andrea, It seems that they always get us when they are super attracted to us and because we might be going through a dry dating period we decide to give them a chance when maybe otherwise we wouldn’t. As women part of what attracts us to men is their attraction to us.

There are actually different stages of dating that you must move through effectively to get into a committed relationship. “Prince Charming” (as they all are during the first stage of attraction) probably showed you lots of attention when he was trying to get you to date him.

But the next part of the dating process is sometimes difficult to handle and this is the part when both parties must decide if they want to spend additional time together or if it was just a little crush and they really aren’t compatible with each other. During this time, it is very common for a man after he has pursued you and has shown interest to pull back a little.

He might not call or contact you for days or weeks and he might not seem as interested as he once was. One mistake women make during this time is to question him about getting into a relationship or even worse try to pursue him. The best thing to do during this period is to occupy your time with other things.

This is how to do it effectively:

YOUR LOVE CURRICULUM:

Patience 201: This means that if he is not calling or contacting you, be patient. But at this time you should not pursue him any further. You should wait until or if he calls to set a date with you. Calls that are acceptable: Those calls that do not involve asking him about a relationship or asking him out on a romantic date. It is actually a good idea to call so he knows that you don’t hold any ill will towards him. Maybe you call him because you want to get his opinion on a subject he has expertise in or maybe you call because he left something at your house. Your call should be warm and friendly; you are just giving him an opportunity to ask you out again.

Friendship & Family 101: Spend more time with your family and friends to help the time fly by faster. If you are waiting for someone to ask you out, it might seem like everyday is a week or every week is a year. If you are consistently filling your schedule your focus won’t be on him calling you or him initiating a date.

Introspection 301: Most importantly, you should use the time to look inside yourself and see if you are truly compatible with this man or if this is a relationship YOU would like to continue. You might decide after reviewing everything that it is better to leave this guy as a friend.

Girlfriend To Girlfriend: If this guy actually told you he needs to get himself together before he enters into a relationship, I feel that you should do just that, give him time. But by giving him time he needs to understand that you won’t necessarily be there when he gets all his ducks in a row. You don’t actually have to tell him this; just continue to date other men. Some women confuse dating with intimate relationships and it is not that. Dating is an opportunity to meet other people to see if there is a chance that you could be compatible with each other. So if your “friend” doesn’t happen to be the one, don’t fret there are always opportunities to date other men.

Are You Too Easy?

Alright, I was guilty of it…

When I was younger I even paid for it!

What I’m talking about is approval. And at 8 years old, Tasha said that she wasn’t going to be my friend anymore and she was popular, so I ran right in my house and emptied out my piggy bank.

Yes, I paid her to be my friend.

And shortly after that, we weren’t friends anymore. So even though I spent my life’s savings thinking I was making a smart investment in a friend, she still didn’t like me. And I was hurting my “friendship” with her rather than helping it when I paid for her approval.

And that’s what a lot of women do today with dating. Most of us don’t outright pay the guy to keep on dating us (although some do), but sometimes we’re guilty of hurting ourselves to get his approval. This means putting our wants and desires aside to make him happy.

The bottom line is that God made each one of us unique for a reason. No one can copy his design. And what attracts men or anyone else to you is YOU being yourself.

And when I say too easy, I mean too easy to please others, without putting your feelings and expectations first.

This is important because you teach the world how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. And if you are giving in to every single thing someone else wants, they have no reason to treat you differently.

Here’s a huge secret: Good men will pursue you to be a PART of your life, not to control your life.

Here are some warning signals that you are becoming too easy.

1. Low Expectations – It’s easy for a man to become a part of your life. All he has to do is compliment you or ask for your number and he’s in your life. Or you go out with him a couple of times and you really hate it but you continue to keep him around for fear you won’t get another opportunity.

2. Being An Actress – This means not being yourself. You think he will like you if you “act” like someone else. This might be the worse because you know in your heart that this isn’t you but you have to continue to play the part for him to like you.

3. Being Too Available – This means changing your plans too quickly to make them work with his. If you planned to workout on Friday at 5:00p.m., and he asks you out to a movie at the same time. Keep your date with yourself. Tell him you are busy at 5:00p.m. and you won’t be able to go. Make him work for it. Believe me, he will ask you out again if he’s interested.

So maybe you didn’t outright pay cash for a “friend”.

But you are doing something far worse. You are paying with your heart. Because if you are doing things just because of someone else, you really aren’t doing things that make you happy. And this is where heart break comes in.

And true happiness is what attracts the RIGHT man in your life.

Why Am I Still Single? Read This Before You Get Desperate

Before, I met prince charming there were some things I was doing that were actually harming my ability to meet some really nice men. And once I changed these things, I got everything I wanted.

3 Reasons SOME Women Remain Single When They Otherwise Would Be In Healthy Relationships

1. Feelings – How do you feel about men? Be honest with yourself. Do you think all men are dogs, all they care about is one thing, or that they will always “be a man”? Well, if you are continuously thinking that way that is what you will get. Before, I met my prince charming that was the first thing I had to change.

I had observed many relationships, probably not the best ones and I had a general dislike towards men. No matter who you are you aren’t that good of an actress. If you have a general bad feeling about men, he will feel that, and he will get as far away from you as possible. Or worse, every man you meet will live up to that expectation because that is what you are thinking.

2. Expectations – What are your expectations for yourself? Do you believe that a good man will come into your life? I hear so many women complaining about how men don’t like professional women, women who attend church, fat women, skinny women, black women, white women, and so on. Well, if that’s what you believe that will become true for you. There are good men out there that like all different types of women. And the women who get these good men, are those women who believe that those good men WANT them.

3. Chasing – This has been a controversial issue for a long time. Should women pursue a man that they like? My stance on this has varied, but recently it has been a definitive NO. I do not believe women should pursue men.

Firstly, if you are chasing men, you put yourself in a mindset of lack, that there are a lack of good men out there that will ACTUALLY chase YOU. As a whole, we could create a world of better men, if we just stop spoiling men by chasing them. Does the lion get his food brought to him in the jungle?

Think about what would happen if he did. He would be lazy and lose his fight. And when women chase men and make it easy for them, he gets lazy and expects for you to make the first move all the time. And there is nothing like a lion when he is hunting. He will use all his strength and energy to get his target. And if you haven’t had that feeling yet, it has to be on your bucket list.

No, not being chased by a lion, being chased by a man who truly wants you. The feeling can not be replaced! Getting what you want from a man is more about using your feminine qualities than trying to MAKE him do what you want. You don’t do it with force, you do it with love. You can learn how to change how men look at you and therefore, attract more good men.

The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave: Honest Review

Reviewer: Robyn Lee

Website Reviewed: womanmenadore.com

Average User Rating: [Rating: 4]

If you’re reading this review, I’m guessing you want some additional information on The Woman Men Adore and Never Want To Leave. I know how tough it can be finding reliable information on the internet regarding relationship guides that you are thinking about purchasing. That’s why I put this page together for the readers of relationshipblackbook.com website.

In this article I’m basically going to give you the details about The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave, the good, the bad and the ugly so by the time you finish reading this review you will be able to make a decision on whether you want to pick up a copy for yourself or not.

If you’ve been reading any of the articles on this site, namely How to Make a Guy Fall in Love with You or How to Be Irresistible to Men, you know that I recommend The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave.

In this article I am going to share with you why I choose to recommend this guide to my readers but firstly there might be a few other questions you may have:

What is The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave?

The Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave is a guide that became popular a few years ago when relationship experts and gurus alike started to recommend it on the internet to their readers.

It is written by Bob Grant a Licensed Professional Counselor who has been a therapist and relationship coach for close to 20 years. He now practices in his home state of Georgia. Thousands of women have been able to effectively use his guide to understand men and by doing so create better relationships with their spouses/significant others.

The reason why this guide is different from others is a couple:

Firstly, it is written by a professional counselor and it uses actual case studies of clients that have had positive results using Bob Grant’s techniques in order to strengthen their relationship. The techniques and strategies are tested to work so you aren’t the guinea pig.

Secondly, it is different from other relationship guides because besides just stating the differences between men and women it teaches you how to use these differences to your advantage.

Click Here, For The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave Official Site

My Personal Opinion

I’ve had the opportunity to read through the entire guide and feel that this guide is best for you if you have been in a long term relationship before and are now single or if you are married or currently in a relationship and your significant other has lost interest.

I say this because, unless you have been in a long term relationship, you will probably not understand as well the situations and things that happen in an actual relationship. But if you have been in a relationship before or are currently in one, you will be able to nod your head yes and be able to effectively use the advice right away to improve your relationship or to be smarter about men in your next relationship.

If you are considering relationship counseling or are confused about why you are not attracting a good man, I would suggest reading this guide first. Most relationship problems are caused by a lack of communication and Bob Grant gives you the exact advice you would get at his counseling practice in Georgia. In addition if you are single, the guide lets you know the things you can do to attract more men.

If you are looking for some immediate advice regarding your relationship or how you can prepare yourself for the type of man you desire, this guide should be a good fit for you.

Purchasing the Woman Men Adore and Never Want to Leave Safely

I always warn my readers about scams on the internet. You want to be sure you are going to the Official Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave website to order your guide. This way you can be sure you are actually receiving your download instantly and that you get the 60 Day Money Back Guarantee.

Click Here To Try the Woman Men Adore And Never Want to Leave

Is He Too Popular For You?

Are Men Similar To Real Estate? Does He Have Too Much Curb Appeal?

In dating as in real estate there are varying degrees of value. For instance, you may have a man who is handsome, has money, and has a charming personality that all the ladies love as well as a house with curb appeal and a kitchen and bathroom that will make you get in an emotional bidding war with several other buyers.

And often times, these bidding wars end up with someone paying a lot more for the property than they should have!

On the other end you can have a guy that just does not cut it for a lot of women, his haircut is off, his social skills are a bit lacking, and on top of that he looks like he is stuck in the 90’s! This is the similar to houses where the owner has not taken time to remodel their kitchen and bathroom (the rooms that sell real estate) or even mow the lawn or plant any flowers on the outside. This house stays on the market for a very long time.

So which one should you choose?

Well, that truly depends on you. How much work are you willing to do? And what type of work are you willing to do?

Well as human beings often times we are most likely in the first situation and we want that house with everything perfected! We don’t want to have to do any work. The problem is that everyone else wants that same house.

This is the same with the man that seemingly has it all. Everyone wants to be with that man! And sometimes what happens in situations like this is that the man is actually overvalued. With so many females giving him attention and singing his praises, you run the risk of getting in a bidding war you might never win.

And if you do win, you might find out that you paid way more for it emotionally than you should have.

Alternatively, you can have a house that has no curb appeal and needs a little work on the inside and some sprucing up on the outside. Seasoned real estate investors know that this type of property is GOLD. They can buy the house for a really low price, put in a little work and spruce it up, and the houses is appraised for double and sometimes triple what they paid for it.

This is the guy that not a lot of females pay attention to. He is mostly ignored during social gatherings and no one really tries to get to know him beyond his outward appearance. This type of guy could be a golden opportunity. One of the best men you have ever dated. He has not been SPOILED with all the attention and he knows that you are a gem to be chased. In addition he has not dated around a lot so he won’t be constantly comparing you to other women. He is going to do a lot more things for you and be grateful that you are in his life.

And just because his curb appeal is not appealing now, doesn’t mean it can’t change in the future. With a little work and patience, you will become the envy of all your friends. They will wonder how you found such a seemingly perfect mate. They will be jealous that you get to answer his phone when it rings and that his eyes don’t wonder when he is around you.

I’m a big fan of these types of men, the ones that have not been spoiled yet; the type of man that will open doors for you and not be afraid or too worried about getting his outfit dirty to change a tire. The man that you can feel comfortable enough to go to the bathroom at a restaurant without worrying that he will allow a woman at another table to give him her number. The man that seems clueless to all the attention he is getting from women. The type of man who appreciates you and calls you after he gets off work to check in with you and see if you have any plans before he makes his.

There are men out there like that, but sometimes you have to put in a little work. Apply some polish to them, dust them off. You will find so much more value in them if you just give them a chance.

Note: I am not talking about men with huge character flaws like being abusive, insecure, thugs/bad boys, lazy men who will not work, men with several baby mamas. (That is not a curb appeal issue; those are plumbing and electrical problems.) And in real estate, that costs you a butt load of money! Run very fast and don’t look back.

With that being said, maybe you feel you are up to the challenge, and you want what you want NOW. You want the French doors, remodeled bathroom and kitchen, mowed lawn, bay windows, recessed lighting, solar windows, the whole package. You want a house that is move in ready and you are willing to pay a bit more for the package.

I’m not mad at you girl! Sometimes you just want what you want. You want the guy who has it all, good looks, charming & handsome. In this case you have to set yourself up as someone that he wants. He has to feel that he would give up all the women that are chasing him, just to spend time with you. You have to be confident in yourself and know that you are the bomb and that he is lucky to have you.

He has to know that if he doesn’t act right that you are ready to take your show on the road and he will loose you. You don’t have to say it, just knowing and feeling it is enough. He will feel that energy when he is around you, that this one is not like the rest, she respects herself and she has a waiting list herself of men who would cut off a right leg to be with her. Otherwise, you set yourself up for tearful nights.

He has to value you more than he values the attention from the other women. And when this happens other women won’t be able to get into your relationship because they know that they don’t have a chance in hell of him keeping his eyes off of you. They will give up and move on to someone else that leaves them those little crumbs that keep them going.

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