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11 Tried-And-True Tips On How To Make A Guy Want A Committed Relationship

The dating game is a tough. First, you have to meet the guy. Cue the girls night out. The dating apps. The dreaded blind date with your co-worker’s brother’s best friend. Then, you’ll likely have to endure many awkward first dates before you meet someone you’re remotely interested in. Finally, the wooing begins. When you finally do make that connection, you want to know it’s for real.

You feel butterflies and can imagine yourself someday walking down an aisle with your man. But when, and how, do you know when it’s official? And, how do you know how to get him to commit? Keep reading for tried-and-true tips on how to make a guy want a relationship with you.

Must Read: Ultimate Tips on How to Get him to Commit to a Serious Relationship

Keep It Fun And Interesting

If you are wondering how to make him want a serious relationship, show him how fun life with you can, and will, be. Try different date ideas, even if it means cooking at home or working out together. Test out what “real life” together as a couple would be like. This is the best indicator of what a relationship would be like, for you and for him.

Especially when you are in the early stages of dating, make an effort to keep things interesting. Try a unique restaurant across town, and sample everything. Go to a funky art museum that pushes your limits of creativity. Wear the slinky dress.

Be Honest

If a commitment is what you’re after, honesty is the best policy. If you really see a future with your partner, tell him. It will feel good to get it off your shoulders, and the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll know if you have a shot.

You already know, deep down, how to make a guy want a relationship. Be honest about who you are and your past experiences. As bleak as it seems sometimes, there is someone out there who loves you for exactly who you are, flaws and all. If you want someone to truly commit to you, you want them to commit to the real you, not some too-perfect image that is hard to maintain once you cohabitate.

Compliment Him

While you are being honest, compliment him! Just like us, men love to hear that they look good. They love to hear that they smell good. They love to hear that their bachelor pad looks like it could be featured in Architectural Digest. Be genuine when you give him compliments (which should be easy if you’re really into him).

Use some investigative work to find out what makes him feel excited. Find out what his favorite food is, or something his grandma used to make when he was little, and try out the recipe. Actions speak louder than words, and you’ll likely get a fun date night and some good laughs out of it.

Laugh Together

The way to a man’s heart is through humor. Don’t take everything so seriously. Laugh together! Find a show or movie you both love and have a good belly-laugh together. Laugh at yourself if you do something embarrassing. Laughter brings people closer and releases endorphins. It also makes for good memories and stories to tell your grandkids.

On that note, show your full range of emotions together. Cry together. Express anger. Showing emotion is one of the most important parts of creating a healthy relationship. I can promise that you will be thankful later.

If you’re wondering how to get him to make it official, the best (and almost too-logical) answer is to be yourself – the you that has many thoughts, feelings, and emotions – for better or for worse.

Write Love Letters To Each Other

You’ll discover how to make a guy want a relationship when you can find little ways to make him think about you during the day. This secret is as old as time. As archaic as it seems, express yourself in the way that lasts forever, through your writing.

I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more romantic than a love letter, or even a note on his kitchen counter in the morning. As much as men try to hide their sensitive sides from us, they also love to feel admired. Try sneaking a postcard of a city you’ve visited into his work bag. It’ll make him smile mid-stressful-workday and (better yet) think of you.

Talk About The Small Things

When you’re talking about a forever together with someone, the little things are the big things. Talk about, and observe, things like – are you a cat or a dog person? What is your sleeping pattern; are you an early bird or a night owl? Are you a healthy eater? As silly as this seems, making connections about trivial, routine parts of your day can show true compatibility.

Click Here to Check 12 additional steps on the quest to conquer the “non-relationship” guy

Prioritize His Friends And Family

As long as he is comfortable with it, forge a relationship with his friends and family. Make nice with the girlfriends of his best friends (even if they aren’t your favorite people on Earth). It will make his life with you seem more natural and will encourage him to include you in his plans.

Remember his parents’ birthdays and send thank-you notes if they have you over for dinner. These little gestures go a long way with Mom and Dad.

Invite him along to your family gatherings, too. See how he interacts with your most important people. Does he seem natural and comfortable, or is the interaction forced? If he intends on having a future with you, he will likely make a great effort with the people you love most.

Go Away On Vacation Together

Getting out of your routine and experiencing new things together can form a closer bond. Traveling together tells you a lot about a person and can help you both discern if the partnership is permanent.

Get him outside of his comfort zone. Share an experience you will never forget, like zip-lining through the jungle or skiing a challenging slope together. You can also learn a lot about each other when there is nothing to do. Try a relaxing beach vacation together. Do your vacation “styles” jive? Do you enjoy spending down time with only each other’s company?

Confide In Him

Tell him what’s going on in your life, how you feel, and your likes and dislikes. Tell him about your hard day at work. Better yet, ask him for advice. It will make him feel valued and useful. Engage in conversation with him about his hopes and goals for the future. Ask and answer hard questions.

Sharing your deeper feelings with your partner can be valuable to him in forming a more serious connection. For some people (like me, the oversharer), this is easy. For other, it takes a bit of tact and thought.

On that same note, general, open, two-way communication is never a bad thing. It will set the stage for a healthy relationship. Communicate, and be honest. Tell him that you’d like to be in a relationship. Tell him that he is important to you, and that you only want to date him. Tell him why you like him so much!

Don’t Pressure Him

After all is said and done, you’ve done your best to get him to commit. Don’t pressure him. Maybe there is a reason he isn’t ready. He could be nursing wounds from a past relationship, or maybe his parents were recently divorced, leaving him hesitant to believe in love. Give him time to digest the idea of dating you exclusively.

That being said, decide how long you will wait. There is a fine line between a casual, fun dating and avoidance. Make sure you are getting what you want and need form the partnership, and if you are unhappy without a solid commitment, it might be time to say goodbye.

Consider His Past Patterns

How much do you know about your guy’s past relationships? Of course, people change. But, does he have a reputation of being perpetually single? A womanizer? A commitment-phobe?

Check out the signs that commitment might not be in the cards for your man

While you can hope for the best, you don’t want to spend effort wondering how to get a guy to commit when the answer is that he will never commit. Some men (and women) are just not interested in serious or committed relationships. Especially with the rise in popularity of dating apps, the new age of romance allows young adults to “play the field” for much longer than back in the days of yore.

Give him a fair shot, be honest about your feelings, and if he isn’t interested, don’t push it.

So You Joined Tinder And Are Ready To Swipe! Follow These Do’s And Don’ts For A Good Tinder Profile For Women

You took the leap and joined Tinder! Good for you!

Now you are asking yourself, how do I write a good bio and get those swipes from the right men? No worries, I have you covered.

There are a ton of articles out there with instructions on how to write a bio for Tinder. But, let’s face it, men and women are different, and their bios should be too. What you need is a a good Tinder bio for a female.

When you follow these great tips on how to write a Tinder bio for a woman, you will find it easy to write your bio and get to those dates right away.

Top 10 Do’s For Your Tinder Profile

Common sense comes into play when creating a great Tinder profile. However, there are some secret tips to creating a standout profile for a woman. Tinder is all about those first impressions so you can get that right swipe!

Follow these great do’s for a good Tinder bio for a female profile, and I guarantee, dates are on the way:

1. Clear Profile Picture. Stand out of the crowd by using a clear, crisp profile photo. It’s easy to get fancy today with all the photo filters out there, but be mindful to keep your photo up close, personal, and clear. Ideally, someone else should be taking your profile photo for you.

2. No Bathroom Photos. We all know we have done it, those famous mirror photos on all the social media platforms. But, honestly, who wants to see your bathroom? Certainly not a man looking for a great date.

3. Include A Full Body Photo. If we are being honest with ourselves, we know when we look at male Tinder bios, we check out the bods. We want to know what we are seeing is what we get.

4. Include An Activity Photo. The photos you include in your bio should show you in your natural environment. If you love to work while sipping a cup of java at your local café, then by all means, have your friend photograph you in that element.

5. No Selfies. Oh, the selfie! We all love them, we all do them, and although they can be fun and capture your best angle, a Tinder bio is not the place for them. Show all of yourself by having a friend catch your best angle instead. It is easy to differentiate a selfie from a photo taken by someone else. Plus, it shows you took the time out and care into showing you off. This will help display your natural self on your bio.

6. Be Honest. No need to make details up about yourself. You won’t actually be meeting all the men viewing your profile. You will end up meeting the ones that are your match if you are honest. Our time is precious, and when we waste it on men that have a preconceived notion of who we are because we embellished our profile, we can open up the door for rejection and disappointment. Be you tell the truth. If you love your job, it’s okay to share that, if you don’t love your job, it’s okay to share that as well. No worries, if you are yourself it will show and men are attracted to genuine women.

7. Be Brief. Spare your male viewers of too many details. Men scan through, and they need to see details quickly. When sharing your hobbies, share them as a list, not as a story. This will make your bio easy and quick reading.

8. Be Flirty. There are numerous ways to flirt on a Tinder bio. Being mysterious or adding a couple questions to your details can peak interest. Smile with flirty eyes in a couple of your photos.

9. Be Humorous. Men love a sense of humor in a woman. Throw in a couple funny lines here and there, like you have a superpower when it comes to making your friends laugh or your dream job is to be a rockstar, even though you cannot sing.

RELATED: What Attracts Men to Women?

10. Let Him Know What You Want. Men want to know what you are looking for. Otherwise, they do not know which direction to swipe. Be brief with what you are looking for, but include details like you are looking for a man who likes to be spontaneous or you love a man who works out.Be sure to keep the list brief, so think about the main points you are looking for in a man. If your list is too long and too specific, then you may come off as picky, and the swiping will go in the wrong direction.

These top 10 musts on your Tinder profile will get those swipes, and you will get swipes from men that are a match! No need to waste your time, right?

Now that you know what you should do, let’s talk about what you should not do. The next five points are definite don’ts on your Tinder profile.

Top 5 Don’ts For Your Tinder Profile

1. Previous Relationship. Do not talk about previous relationships. No need to explore with your potential swipers as to why other relationships have not worked out for you. This topic is a turn-off.

2. Too Much Information. Your potential suitors do not need to know that you take an hour and a half to get ready everyday before work. Keep information brief and you will leave a mystery to be solved.

3. Just Ask. Writing about yourself, what you want, and what you are looking for can be intimidating. But, don’t take the easy way out and include the “Just Ask Me” line. That is not mysterious, it shows a lack of confidence and sureness instead.

4. Too-Sexy Photos. Keep your photos clean and classy. Sex appeal can be mysterious; there is not need to be outright scandalous, unless you are trying to attract the wrong man. Keep the bikini pics out of your bio.

5. Not Including A Bio. Sounds ironic to have this on your list of don’ts in an article about creating a great bio, right? But, there are a lot of women that leave the bio part blank. Do not do that! You have come here to this article for a reason, so make sure you create a bio.

In the end, the best bios are those that reflect you the best. Be yourself. I know you hear that all the time, but it’s the truth. A good bio comes from the heart and good self-exploration. Honesty shows. Embellishments stand out, and in the end, they can put you in an awkward situation.

Stay true to yourself, and be honest. With these great tips, you are now on the right path.

Happy swiping and dating ladies!

MUST READ: Is Online Dating The Answer?

Don’t Hit The Panic Button! 5 Key Things To Consider When Your Man Needs Space

Whether you’re in a new or long-term relationship, there comes a time when one partner needs to take some space to breathe and think about next steps. Although this often seems like a scary request, it could be for the benefit of a healthy relationship. It may have nothing to do with you.

When he says he needs space, consider the possible reasons. Is he stressed at work? Does he have a big decision to make? Or, is there someone else? Maybe you, or the relationship, has become too intense. Maybe he just doesn’t know what it is he wants, and needs time and space to figure it out.

Regardless of the situation, when a man needs space, give him what he needs. This is a signal you should heed, or you risk losing your relationship. Follow these tips to navigate the need for space, and come out on the other side stronger than ever.

Give Him The Space He Needs

First and foremost, if you truly care about your partner, give him the space he asks for. Normally, when a guy asks for space, there is good reason behind it. Even if he is not sure about a future with you, wouldn’t you like to know this information now, and not five years down the road?

Have you ever talked about a future together? Has anything drastically changed in the relationship? Consider your future plans and the past conversations you have had. Maybe your man struggles with commitment and is getting “cold feet.” Or, maybe he is worried about the fact that you haven’t discussed a future together. Either way, space isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It might provide you both with some perspective on your upcoming life plans.

Let him take as much time as he needs, but be realistic. Are you wondering, “Does he need space or is it over?” If this is the case, define the terms of the “space” so there is no confusion or miscommunication. Have an honest and clear conversation. Are you dating other people during this time, or staying in a committed relationship?

It’s hard to give space, especially when it’s not what you want. Maybe you have become too overbearing and need to back off in order to maintain a healthy existence. Take this quick quiz to see if you need to give your partner more space:

Quiz: Need For Space

Don’t Take It Personally

The reason your man needs space likely has nothing to do with you. He could be stressed at work, or under pressure from his family to get married. Men often take stress out on the people closest to them. Try not to take it personally or create illusions of wrongdoing. Have there been any signs that he needed space? Check out the top three signs that he could have been trying to show you he needs space:

CLICK to Read: 3 Signs He Needs Space

Although self-reflection is healthy and necessary, don’t allow yourself to get too much inside of your own head. It will only make you anxious and worried. It’s human nature to imagine every scenario possible and make assumptions about what your man may be thinking or feeling.

Get outside yourself. Focus on your friendships or spend time with family. Pay attention to the people who remind you of who you are, and how awesome you are.

Let Him Come To You – Don’t Chase Him

When a guy says he needs space, you may find yourself wondering – how long is that? The unfortunate reality is that you never know. The silver lining is, he might realize how much he misses you. The downside is, he might realize that he wants something else. Either way, you’re saving yourself heartache down the road if you allow him to come to you when he is ready.

You may ask yourself, “My boyfriend wants space, but realistically, how long should I wait?” This is a great question. How long are you willing to wait? Do you think he is the one? When you’re waiting for confirmation or assurance in your relationship, one week can seem like one year. If you need to, give him a time limit. Make a plan to meet in two weeks to discuss your future. You can be matter-of-fact about this. Leave the emotions for later and don’t worry until you know there is something to worry about.

You should never have to beg or convince someone to commit to you. If he is struggling to see a future together, you may want to pull the plug before you waste any more of your time on a dead-end relationship.

Set Boundaries

When your man says he needs space, you will likely find yourself thinking, “He wants space – but should I text him?” Or even, “For how long does he need space?” The best way to handle this situation is to set your own personal boundaries. Leave the amount of time, space, or contact up to your partner, but create your own limits.

You could say something like, “Call me if you need me.” Make it clear that, when he says he needs space, you’re not going to reach out or call him. As unfair as it sometimes seems, you will have a much more productive conversation when he is ready. You don’t want to waste your own time and effort trying to force a conversation that your man is not ready for.

Eventually, you may find yourself creating an ultimatum. Ultimatums get a bad wrap and are the step-sister of boundaries. Saying,“I need xx or I will have to xx,” is nothing to be ashamed of. Asking for a commitment in order to stay with your man is okay. Set healthy limits and make sure that you follow through so he takes you seriously (and so you can take yourself seriously!).

Take Care Of Yourself

You have to look out for number one. The reality is, people change, and you can’t always rely on those you once relied on. Men can be inconsistent and indecisive. Make sure you don’t lose yourself waiting for your partner to give you the green light. Check out this video to ensure that you have a healthy perspective on your current (or next!) relationship:

Take this time to reflect and take care of yourself. Maybe you could also use some space. Maybe this “space” will be a precious gift to you! If your partner is discerning what his future looks like, you should do the same. If he keeps you in limbo for long, this doesn’t bode well for his character. Your boyfriend should want you to feel secure and confident in your relationship, not worried and unsure.

Take this time to be your own best friend. Focus on your career or professional development. Sign up for that art class you’ve always wanted to take. Start practicing yoga (bonus: many yoga studios have active social communities). Volunteer at your local homeless shelter. Use this time and space to grow as a person. You may end up outgrowing your partner before they come around.

Although the need for space can seem daunting, try to view it as a positive move toward a successful future, whether it is with your current partner or not. Take the steps you need to take to be happy and confident, and always remember that you are entitled to needing space, too!

How to Fix an Unhappy Marriage: Communication, Self-Care and Fun

Do you ever feel like your marriage just isn’t as fun anymore? Are you missing the connection with your husband that you had when you first met? Do you ever find yourself wondering, “Is my husband unhappy with his life?”

First of all, you are not alone in experiencing these feelings. Many women find themselves taking on the happiness of their husband, children, and others around them as if it were their own responsibility. Women are often natural caretakers and wish to enrich the lives of those around them – even if it means sacrificing their own happiness.

The honeymoon phase is unlikely to last forever, but it’s important for both husband and wife to feel happy and fulfilled in marriage. Sometimes an unhappy partner can really drag down the energy in an otherwise positive relationship.

If you feel like you’re headed down a negative path in your marriage, keep reading for tips on how to deal with an unhappy husband.

Relationship Tips!

How to deal with an unhappy husband

Read Now!

Remember – It’s Not Always About You

The most important piece of advice I’ve ever been given is: “It’s not always about you.” Although this seems obvious, humans automatically tend to put themselves at the center of both the good and bad. We look at the world through our own lens and experiences. We often assume blame and responsibility for things that aren’t ours to take on.

Before you go down an endless rabbit hole of blame and insecurity about your husband’s unhappiness, you may want to ask yourself – has anything major changed in the relationship? Marriages undoubtedly change as job promotions, new homes, children, and even sick parents come into play. Your husband might be experiencing anxiety from life changes that have nothing to do with your marriage itself.

Don’t jump to conclusions or take unnecessary blame. Do you feel confident that you provide reliable support and equal responsibility in your partnership? Are you able to enjoy each other’s company, regardless or what else might be happening in your lives? If you feel like you have a solid friendship sprinkled with romance, your marriage might not actually be to blame for your unhappy husband.

The real trick is to find out what is at the root of his unhappiness – whether it has to do with your marriage or not. Men can be tricky territory to navigate when it comes to feelings and vulnerability. Body language, complaining and overworking can be nonverbal signals that your man is not happy.

Relationship Guide

To see more signs that your husband is unhappy in your marriage.

CLICK HERE!

Have An Honest Conversation

The best first step to take (when you have any concerns in your marriage) is to try talking to your husband. A mature and productive conversation complete with action steps can do wonders for an unhappy husband – or wife. Instead of guessing at what might be the root of his unhappiness, ask him. You might be surprised at what you find out and he will likely appreciate your concern for him.

If your conversation leads you to the conclusion – “My husband is unhappy with his life” – come up with a plan. Ultimately, when you are married, his life is also your life. What can you do or change in your lives to try to make the situation better? Are you able to work together to pinpoint where the problems lie? Part of a healthy marriage is being able to problem solve together. This just might be the ultimate test of your vows – for better or for worse.

Allow Him To Explore Options

Along the same lines of having an honest conversation with your husband, give him some feedback and support. Allow him some time and space to try out different things. For example, if getting up to exercise each morning would boost his mood – it may take a few weeks to get in a new rhythm and see results. If he needs some alone time each day after work, give it a chance and a fair shot. His efforts in trying to make your lives better won’t go unnoticed.

Maintain clear and consistent communication – and mean what you say. Try not to nag or become too obsessive about his happiness or progress in working toward happiness. Give him space to breathe and he will likely thank you for that.

The Marriage Guy

Check out one of our favorite YouTubers, The Marriage Guy, and his expert advice on other way to handly distant or cold spouse

CLICK HERE!

Don’t get bogged down by thoughts like, “My husband is unhappy.” Keep living your life and supporting him in trying to reach a life that he feels comfortable with. He might need a reminder sometimes that happiness is a journey, not a destination.

While your husband is exploring his own feelings, take this time to think about your own! Is there anything would change about the relationship, or is there any way he could support you better? Don’t search for problems that aren’t there – but if there is something you’ve been meaning to talk about, it’s only fair that the conversation goes both ways.

Prioritize Your Own Happiness

Ultimately, you can’t force anyone to be happy. If your husband is truly unhappy with his life, there is not much you can personally do to change that. The only happiness you truly have control over is your own. Don’t neglect your own friends, hobbies, or things that give you life and energy. You will be a better and more giving wife for it.

Keep in mind that your own happiness is equally as important as your husband’s in your marriage. Every time you fly on an airplane, the flight attendants mention – in case of an emergency landing, you have to put your own oxygen on before you can help someone else with theirs. If you are not feeling healthy and positive, it’s unlikely that you will be able to help your husband feel this way.

Don’t become unrealistic – of course, life has its fair share of ups and down. It’s healthy to express needs and desires with your partner. But try to remain generally positive (and grateful for your partner) on a day-to-day basis. This makes larger scale problems seem much more legitimate.

Remember To Play

Studies show that certain tasks such as anticipation (think about this – for example, having a vacation to look forward to), smiling, and even playing have a profound effect on the human brain and feelings of happiness.

Let’s be honest – we spend much our life at work or doing tasks that don’t necessarily fill our love tanks. It’s easy for everyday life to seem heavy and monotonous at times. Sometimes it can be cyclical (for example, the long, dark winters in certain regions can cause depression) or even circumstantial. Prioritize the lighthearted fun in your marriage. When was the last time you just played?

Have a picnic and bring a board game. Insist on a weekly date night; see a movie, go to a concert, the theater, or even a tango class. Life becomes so serious sometimes that it’s easy to forget how much fun it can be. It may also help in reigniting the passion between you and your husband, and could definitely bring him out his slump.

Let the fun take priority in your marriage, no matter how busy you get. Talk to your friends about fun experiences they’ve had with their partners to get ideas. Try something completely new. It will help you grow both separately and together. Practicing gratitude, letting go of past experiences and resentment, and getting physical can help reignite the fire in your relationship. The Today Show gives some other useful tips on how to make your marriage fun again.

Set Firm Boundaries

Is it really up to you to learn how to live with an unhappy spouse? Remember – it’s your life, too. You want your marriage to be based in love, trust, happiness, and freedom for both parties involved. There should be a limit on the amount of effort you put into an unhappy marriage without any reciprocation.

If your husband seems unwilling to search for ways to find happiness, it might not be something you can help fix. Have the courage to realize when the relationship is not for you anymore. Make sure that your own mental health is stable and that your partner’s unhappiness is not affecting your self worth. Don’t make excuses for your partner’s bad behavior and, most importantly, hold onto the notion that you deserve to be treated with respect and care, too.

When you’re questioning your husband’s happiness (or living with a husband who is acting distant and cold) it’s important to strike a balance between support and self-care. Honest, open communication, along with an action plan, is key to creating happiness for both husband and wife. Relationship Guide: Click here to Read Articles!

Getting Out Of The Friend Zone: Is It Possible? Is It Worth It?

Quick NavigationDon’t Miss Out Be Honest Understand He May Not Be Into You Be Your Best Self Don’t Get Down On Yourself Take Some Space Think About Letting It Go

We all know it – that butterfly feeling when you finally meet someone you really vibe with and like to be around. You flirt, hang out, and start to imagine what it would be like to be a couple. And then suddenly – it comes to a screeching halt when he tells you he just wants to be friends.

Your crush might be so interesting and desirable to you that you initially like the idea of being friends. Maybe you have similar interests and hobbies. Maybe you convince yourself, “If we are around each other long enough, maybe he will fall for me!” Although this can happen, it’s pretty unlikely.

Be honest with yourself – are your feelings for him still lingering? Are you still hoping for a relationship with this man? Is it ever possible to get out of the friend zone and into a relationship?

If you are thinking to yourself, “He just wants to be friends but I still like him,” keep reading for our tips on how to exit the friend zone and – more importantly – gain perspective in the process.

Don’t Miss Out

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Or, you don’t have to look for fish and you can go for a nice swim all on your own!

Don’t pine away for (or obsess over) your crush and miss out on the joys of life. Focus on your friendships, career, and other aspects of yourself that make you unique. Enjoy some alone time to figure out who you are and what you want – from a relationship and from life. You will likely meet the right person once you start fostering your own passions and personality.

Also – remember the fun of being pursued! Don’t miss out on other potentially great relationships because you are so focused on this one man. You deserve to feel wanted, appreciated, and valued. If the guy isn’t into you – or isn’t sure yet – do you really want to be with him, anyway? You deserve better than that.

Curious about Potential Relationships: READ HERE!

If I have learned anything in my years of dating, it’s that you sometimes find interesting people in the least likely of places. There might be someone you least expect waiting around the corner ready to sweep you off your feet. Don’t miss out on these opportunities by laser focusing on this one particular guy.

Focus on your friendships! Build relationships elsewhere in your life. Plan a girls trip away. There is plenty of fun to get involved in as a single woman. You just need to know where to look for it. Your single girlfriends are a good place to start.

Be Honest

Everyone likes to hear that they are desirable. What’s the harm in being honest with your crush? Say something like, “I really would love to be friends with you, but it’s too hard for me because I still have feelings for you.” Tell him exactly how you feel – clearly and honestly – and see how he reacts.

If he maintains that you mean a lot to him, maybe it’s worth sticking around as a friend for a while to see if things change. It will at least open an honest conversation in which you can assess what is happening between you two. Maybe he will be refreshed by the fact that you can engage in an open conversation about relationships instead of playing mysterious mind games.

A few years ago, a guy I had gone on a few dates with called me out of the blue to tell me he wasn’t interested in dating me but really enjoyed the time we spent together. He said that if the chemistry was there, we both would have known it. While I felt momentarily rejected (and wasn’t aware that we were “dating”), I appreciated this direct and honest approach. He was right – we both would have known if it was the right thing. We were both able to save our feelings and since we have mutual friends, we can still be friendly to each other in public.

You could also take a more distant approach. Tell him how you feel, and give him time to process it. If he is in the dating world, maybe he will see what he’s missing and come around. Check in with him every so often if you see a funny article that reminds you of him or a good episode of a show you used to watch together. Maintain a distant connection while still keeping your own options open. Go on dates and meet new people. He may realize what he’s missing. If and when he is ready, he will let you know that he can handle more.

No matter which method you choose, you should be honest. Getting your feelings off your chest will make you feel better and you will know that you put everything you could into winning the guy. You will have an answer instead of being in limbo. And, if you do decide that you can’t be friends (because it’s too painful) he will know clearly why.

Understand He May Not Be Into You

. . . and that’s okay!

He just doesn’t feel romantically toward you. It’s a harsh reality for women to face, but it can also be freeing. Sometimes a guy is just not that into you. This means you aren’t right for each other. Thank goodness you found out now and not after forty years of marriage. The right guy for you will be pumped to be in a relationship with you.

In my humble experience, when he says he doesn’t want a relationship but wants to be friends – it’s often a cop-out. Men try to save our feelings (or maybe their own potential for getting hurt) by playing the friendship card.

Relationship Guide:

Waiting for Mr. Right: What to do while you wait?

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Don’t be alarmed if you see him in a relationship with someone else in just a few months. Men tend to free themselves up (and poof! suddenly be ready for a relationship) for the people they want to pursue. If a guy truly likes you in a romantic way, he will be ready for a relationship. He will make himself ready at the risk of losing you!

Of course, there are the rare situations when a guy and a girl can foster a friendship that eventually becomes romantic, but normally one person is more invested in making this happen from the onset. If you think this may work for you, try to be a loyal friend to your crush. Just beware that this might mean being there for him when he’s in a relationship with someone else.

Be Your Best Self

One of the best pieces of advice I got about relationships is, “Be someone you would want to be with.” Moping around and waiting for someone to pay attention to you doesn’t make you attractive to your crush or to other men who might be interested in you. Or to your friends. Or family (you get the point).

Forget the guy for a few minutes – how can you be your best self for you? What kind of person do you strive to be in this world? When a guy says he just wants to be friends, it could be a cue from the universe that it’s time to focus on your most important relationship – the one you have with yourself.

Look at yourself from an objective perspective.

What do you love about yourself? What could you work on? Think about the things you want to achieve in your lifetime. This is a great time for setting goals and putting your mind to something.

Coming off of a terrible rejection (ahem, when the guy I thought I would marry said he didn’t see a romantic future together), I decided I was going to train for a marathon. I made it my priority to find a training plan, run each day and challenge my own speeds and distance. I didn’t get the guy back, but I did get a solo energetic outlet, a mental distraction, and a new passion that is now an important part of my daily routine and mental health. To top it off, I got a pretty decent revenge body, too!

Your goal doesn’t have to be as long-term or extreme as a marathon. Being your best self can mean reading one new book each week (and make a book club with your girlfriends!) or cooking a fresh dinner each night. Being your best self might mean spending each Sunday afternoon with your grandma or taking some classes at the local university. No matter what, learning to be the best and most fulfilled version of yourself will attract your crush – and likely other, more deserving men, too.

Don’t Get Down On Yourself

Hearing that he just wants to be friends can be really harmful to a woman’s pride. It can make you feel like you’re not “enough” or even that you’re not desirable to men. Be careful with these harsh judgements and assumptions. Who put this one person in charge of your self-worth?

Try not to let this one situation damper your self-confidence. Your crush might be going through something personal that makes him unready for a relationship. Give him credit for being honest about that instead of taking you down a rocky road. It’s better to know now that he’s not ready for a relationship (with you, or maybe with anyone) than later down the road once you’ve started dating. It may be hard to see it now, but consider yourself lucky that you saved some heartbreak!

Surround yourself with loving, positive people who lift you up. Hang out with friends who remind you how wonderful you are (everyone needs a reminder every now and again). Give yourself a daily pep-talk. Look into your own eyes with a mirror if you need to. Positive self-talk is clinically proven to boost self esteem and improve moods.

Take Some Space

When he says he just wants to be friends, take some space for yourself. And give him some space to miss you. He doesn’t necessarily deserve to have you as a friend right now if you’re feeling rejected by him. Time and space will make it clear if it’s healthy to stay friends with this person or if you need to release them from your life. Time and space will also help you both realize if you’re making the right choices in life.

There are plenty of things you can do for yourself (and with your friends!) while you are waiting for the right partner to come along. Stay off social media for a few days and avoid contacting, seeing, or thinking about your crush. Distract yourself as much as possible to get a break from the situation and gain clarity.

Try not to over-communicate with your crush-turned-friend. When men are faced with emotions, they can often be cryptic in their response if they aren’t sure. If he says he just wants to be friends, he might really be saying he’s scared. He might also mean that he feels vulnerable and isn’t ready to commit to a future. Check out these hints about what your crush might really mean when he texts you.

READ HERE! 8 Cryptic Text Messages Men Send And What They REALLY Mean

Think About Letting It Go

For both of your sake – is it too painful to be his friend? This might be a sacrifice he has to make if he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you. Get out there and meet someone else. Sometimes the world has a funny way of working out, and rest assured that your best days are yet to come.

Even though it’s hard, being friends with someone you saw a romantic future with can be torture. As you get older, keeping up with the important friends you already have is time-consuming enough. Do you really want to be “just friends” with this person? Check out these other reasons why it’s best to distance yourself from the guy who just wants to be friends.

So – is it possible to get out of the friend zone? And is it worth it? Only time will tell. If you really feel like this guy is the one, try waiting it out. But be careful with overvaluing someone who doesn’t make the effort for you. If you keep your eyes open, the right person for you will come along sooner than you think – and he will be sure that you don’t belong in the friend zone.

Waiting For Mr. Right: What To Do While You Wait

It’s 4:00 A.M. and you’re scouring the depths of Bumble, Tinder, The League, and that random app your roommate signed you up for last night (which you aren’t even sure has a vetting process considering what has showed up in your “matches” so far). We’ve all been there and it can be incredibly frustrating. In the age of match.com, eharmony.com, and countless dating apps, it seems like the process of finding “Mr. Right” is becoming more complex than ever.

Sometimes the process can be so daunting that it seems impossible. Not only do you have to take the initiative to create an account on a dating website, but you have to figure out a way to put your best foot forward and get someone’s attention against thousands of other options with the same “credentials.” It can be tricky, time-consuming, and, above all else, frustrating.

But if not dating apps, then what? How, in this increasingly fast-paced society, do you go about finding the right person for you? Here’s the first thing you need to remember as you work through this process: waiting for Mr. Right does not mean waiting around.

In addition to not sitting around waiting for Mr. Right to come along, you should also not settle for the first “acceptable” man that comes along as a result of your weeklong Bumble efforts. The temptation to swipe right on a man that also likes sushi, the beach, and the Red Sox is going to be there. If he’s even remotely attractive, that’s an added bonus. The date that went “okay” but wasn’t great will also take place. It’s easy to justify a few bad dates or a lack of chemistry and chalk it up to nerves, right?

I get it. It’s easier said than done. In my opinion, however, waiting for the right man does not mean sitting on your couch mindlessly flipping through five different dating apps, or not putting yourself out there and expecting your perfect man to fall into your lap without any effort. Read on for some tips as to how to wait for the right man in a more active way, and what to do while you’re waiting for Mr. Right in the meantime to better yourself so you’re ready when you do finally meet him.

HELP! I’M IN LOVE WITH BEST FRIEND

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See What’s Out There

As much as I joke around about dating apps, they can be really great tools to start putting yourself out there and meeting new people, especially if you’re new to the dating scene. Dating apps are a great resource to find people with similar interests and values as yourself and can provide valuable experience in dating.

The only way you’re going to know if someone is right for you is to, conversely, know what is wrong for you. The best way to go about this is going out on a few dates, getting to know different types of people, and determining what you do and don’t want in a man. Don’t rely on the dating profile alone. Worst case scenario – you have a great story to tell afterwards.

Make It All About YOU

As kids, we were told not to do this. But now is the time!

Relationships, especially serious ones that come along with finding Mr. Right, require a lot of time, dedication, energy, and sacrifice. Don’t get me wrong; if you’re with the right person, none of these things will seem like a chore but rather things you enjoy or don’t think twice about. In the meantime, however, this is a great opportunity for you to focus on yourself in every aspect. Whether you want to advance in your career, commit to a more active and healthy lifestyle, pursue a passion, or find a new hobby, now is the perfect time to explore these options and try things that make you happy as an independent person.

This course of action has multiple benefits. For starters, men are attracted to women who have it all together and don’t seem like their happiness relies on finding the right man Even if you are super eager to find the right man, try not to be too eager, as this might give the impression that you have nothing else worthwhile going on in your life.

If you show others that, while you’re waiting for Mr. Right, you have invested time to make yourself the best version you can be, they will not only admire you, but will know that your happiness doesn’t depend solely on having a partner. Showing that you have the awareness and determination to do life on your own, and that you’re okay with it, is a great indicator of the type of partner you will be once you are in a relationship.

Time for a cliche: You can’t be happy with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself.

Treat Yourself

This one is my favorite.

Treating yourself could mean a variety of things. Make an appointment for a spa day with your girlfriends. Take an entire Sunday (or weekend!) to veg out on the couch and watch those movies that have been on your list for two months. Put on some makeup and your best outfit and go shopping for the day. Instead of your usual spot for dinner, suggest that hot new sushi place for girl’s night this weekend. It doesn’t have to break the bank, but taking the time to do nice things for yourself can help make you more confident and happy with where you are in life. In essence, doing things like this shows that you love and value yourself and, in doing so, you will be an example to and attract others.

For some inspiration on how to treat yourself, here are some fun, affordable ideas!

Head to the drugstore and buy some lotion, nail polish, and a face mask for a DIY spa night.
Treat yourself to a fancy drink, coffee, or smoothie.
Check out a movie at your local theater.
Cook or bake a fun Pinterest recipe you’ve been eyeing.
Listen to your favorite playlist or, better yet, create one with tunes that make you happy.

Discover and/or Pursue a Passion

Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do or continue doing, but you’ve had to continuously place it on the back burner because, well…life gets in the way? Or it was just never the right time? Well NOW is the time to make those desires your priority. If you enjoy yoga and always thought about becoming an instructor, explore that opportunity. If you want to take up kickboxing or learn self-defense, sign up for a couple classes and see what it’s all about. Have a great idea for a book or short story? Designate some time each day where you can just sit down and write.

Pursuing passions, big or small, is not only a great way to add to your own life but can certainly be one way to meet others who share your interests and values. Who knows, this could even be the way that you meet your special someone, which is even better! Men generally love when women are passionate about something and vice versa (if they don’t, this can be a problem so watch out). These passions doesn’t necessarily have to be the same for two people to be compatible, but it’s a powerful thing in a relationship to be empowered and driven by something other than each other. You can support each other’s passions and learn about something new in the process.

Not only that, but pursuing a passion takes a lot of time, energy, and planning. If you’re focused on this, more likely than not, you will not be so focused on finding a man and the anxiety around the situation will lessen.

Focus on Friendships

If there is anything I’ve learned from the hundreds of “Galentine’s Day” Instagram posts I’ve scrolled through this week, it’s that female friendships are not only extremely important, but more valued than ever. In this age of rising female empowerment, it is so important to have friends whom you can count on and who root for you at your best and worst moments.

That being said, fostering such relationships can become difficult, complex, and time-consuming, especially as you get older and you have to balance friends from high school, hometown, college, work, etc. Additionally, just because you have a lot of friends, or think you do, doesn’t mean that each of those friendships has been given the time it needs to flourish.

Making time for friends is challenging, but necessary. Once a serious romantic relationship is thrown into that mix, the challenge intensifies, and suddenly you find yourself in situations where you have to choose between girl time and spending time with him.

Example #1:

It’s a Friday night and your boyfriend wants to take you out to dinner. Your roommate has also planned a girl’s night with all of your friends who you haven’t seen in awhile.

Example #2:

Your boyfriend wants to come visit your place for the weekend. Your friends from high school are planning a weekend getaway.

Example #3:

A new movie that you and your friend have been dying to see just hit theaters. Your boyfriend surprises you with premiere night tickets.

See where things might become a little difficult? This is where sacrifice and balance start to factor into your life. You will have to choose. Constantly. It’s a good problem to have, but something to think about before you dive into a serious relationship.

Ultimately, while you are not yet in a committed romantic relationship, this is a great time to focus on your friends. Give them a call asking about their day for no reason. Plan a girls weekend or a mini vacation. Go out dancing. Go to the movies. Grab drinks after work.

Here is some inspiration for fun ways to put friends first:

Plan a movie night or a girl’s night in.
Plan a weekend day for a wine or beer tasting.
Make time each day or every couple of days to call or send your friend(s) a quick text to check in.

If a woman has a close knit circle of friends that she values enough to set aside time for, men will (or should) admire that. Again, if he doesn’t, that could be a problem. It’s a sign of being able to commit to multiple different people in life in a balanced fashion and not just one, and shows that you are able to maintain long-term, in-depth relationships. This is a great indicator of how one will perform in a relationship in terms of commitment as well.

Travel

Now, this suggestion may not be for everyone, but hear me out. I might change your mind.

Have you always dreamed about going backpacking through Europe? Visiting family across the country? Spending the weekend in a big city?

It’s much easier to travel when you’re only in charge of yourself and not anyone else, especially a significant other or children. Not

only that, it’s simpler to coordinate one work schedule rather than multiple. Take the time to go to the places you dreamed of visiting now, whether it’s Vermont or Italy, while you are the only person you have to take into consideration.

It is true, and I have heard this many times, that “you have your whole life to travel.” However, it is also true that “now” can be the time for anything and traveling can certainly be one of those things for you.

Check out this list of some safe, fun places for women to travel to independently:

Rome, Italy
New York City, USA
Melbourne, Australia
Montreal, Canada
Tulum, Mexico
Singapore
Cayman Islands
Hawaii, USA
San Diego, CA, USA
Charleston, SC, USA

Reflect and Redirect

If you’ve had relationships before that haven’t worked out, and you feel like you consistently keep meeting the wrong men follow this one, simple step: reflect.

Take a step back and examine your past relationships and ask these questions:

Why did it end? How did both of us deal with it ending? What was our biggest challenge in the relationship? How did we each deal with this challenge? What could we have done better that may have helped us work through the problem(s)?

Here are some additional questions to ask yourself while doing this exercise:

Did my partner and I want the same things?
Did my partner and I want the same things?
Do we have similar goals for our futures?
How did we get along with each other’s friends? Family?
What did the relationship add to each of our lives?
Were we both able to be ourselves 100% of the time? If not, why?

By taking some time to reflect and analyze (not overanalyze) the answers to these questions, you can determine any patterns that have started to form in your love life and make a conscious effort to alter them. In doing so, you’re being proactive in preventing similar issues from arising in future relationships.

When you do meet Mr. Right, you won’t be making those same mistakes.

TAKE ADVICE, BUT PROCEED WITH CAUTION

The first thing I do when I am faced with a challenge or difficult decision is to ask a friend or family member what they would do in my situation. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing.

On one hand, it is great to feel like you have people in your life who you can talk to about anything at any time no matter the circumstance, and who are looking out for your best interests. On the other hand, if you take their advice no matter what and quite literally beg them to tell you what to do, you will soon realize that all of your decisions are being made based on the values and thoughts of others and not according to your own moral compass and brain.

Your vision of “Mr. Right” and your older sister’s idea of“Mr. Right” might be completely different.

Quite simply, it’s okay to ask for advice. In fact, it’s great to hear the perspectives of people who are not in the thick of a situation and can objectively examine and guide from the outside. However, before you approach someone for input on a certain situation, make sure they are the right person.

It may not be the wisest idea to ask someone who has been married for forty years what their take is on a recent Bumble date you had. Similarly, you probably shouldn’t ask your cousin who, has never been on a date, what she thinks you should do. Try seeking advice from a reliable people who have been in a similar situation or can somewhat relate.

Check out some articles (like this one) to see what other people have to say on this topic.