This topic dominated all of our conversations at middle school slumber parties (and maybe even high school ones). It served as the top-secret content for our notes passed covertly during class. You remember, the “check yes or no” format, right? When technology finally came into the picture, the art of crafting the perfect text message to pose this question without sounding too excited or “needy” became a project that required the minds of four different friends.
Before that, navigating the tricky web of AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) to reveal your feelings to someone was a process in itself. Telling a guy you like him, if you have experienced this before, has most likely been an emotionally and mentally draining, anxiety-inducing process. This is true especially if you really care about this guy. Or, to quote and embarrassing but iconic pre-teen phrase, “if you “like like him”.
It should not have to be this way! Women should be empowered and excited to express their innermost feelings without fearing rejection or judgement. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world, and most people do feel this way. So, don’t worry, you are not alone and it’s okay if even just reading about this situation is making you nervous.
Telling a guy you like him can certainly be nerve wracking, to say the least, and how to tell him you like him can be even more daunting of a decision and take a long time to figure out. Odds are, if he hasn’t already told you that he likes you, you are really choosing to put yourself out there and are being vulnerable with no promise of reward.
But hey, good for you! I’ll say it again; it isn’t easy to do this and if you’re taking the time to think about telling a guy you like him, that shows that you care and are confident in yourself, and that is certainly a “win” no matter what the guy’s response is.
So, let’s address the real question here: how do you tell a guy you like him? There are many ways and this will depend on many different factors. Did you just meet? Have you been friends forever? Are you very close friends and wondering, “should I tell him I like him at the risk of ruining our friendship?”
I hate to burst your bubble, but there is no perfect way as to how to tell a guy you like him, and, of course, no foolproof formula for success since every person is so drastically different. However, I have come up with some basic, but effective ideas to get you started as you prepare for this momentous event in your life.
Wait – we should back up here. Let’s first explore this scenario to make sure that you are set up to be successful once you do this. We need to gauge if there is any romantic chemistry between you two.
Find out whether or not he may like you by asking around. I wouldn’t suggest running to his best friend to confess your love, but try getting the opinions of some of your girlfriends. Odds are, since they are more objective, they can give you a realistic answer.
Look for some hints that he may drop casually in conversation. Does he compliment you out of the blue? Does he mention hanging out with you? If you start to pick up on these things, most likely it is not a coincidence and he is trying to tell you something.
Start simple conversations with him. Small talk can be very telling. If you two can carry on a conversation, it shows that you have the most basic chemistry. Similarly, if he is willing to talk with you about more mundane things like the weather, the big test next period, or the latest drama with your coworkers, he is interested in spending time talking to you which is a great sign.
If you’re still wondering, check out these articles for more tips as to how to determine whether or not a guy likes you:
Now that we’ve established that there is some potential here, let’s talk about some strategies for actually telling this guy that you like him. Like, like like him.
Be Blunt
Believe it or not, as confident and intimidating as some of them may seem, guys like it when girls take initiative. More often than not, rather than viewing it as pushy or annoying, they’ll find it admirable, and even sexy, that you didn’t wait around for him to say something. This shows that you are confident in yourself, which is an extremely important quality in a relationship.
Getting straight to the point also eliminates the typical “gameplay” and skirting around the issue that causes anxiety, stress, and confusion. In reality, you are both probably wondering the same thing and don’t want to be the first to say it. If you’re ready to make this move, be the one to say something first.
Compliment Him
You don’t need to go over the top on this one, but guys love being complimented, especially if it is on something they are good at or passionate about like sports, performing arts, academics, or their appearance, style, etc.
When you compliment a guy, it shows you are paying attention and that you notice things about him that you like. This can be an alternative way to tell a guy you like him without coming right out and saying it.
Ask Him About Himself
This tip builds off the last. Guys will get the hint that you’re interested in them if you show genuine interest in the things that they like. This is also a good indicator as to how you will function as a potential couple.
Even if you aren’t necessarily passionate about what he is passionate about, showing that you care speaks volumes and shows that you are not all about yourself. If you are genuinely interested and curious, he will definitely notice that you’re trying to get to know him more, be affected by that, and hopefully take it as a sign that you’re interested.
Use Body Language
Let’s try eliminating words and showing him you’re interested with some subtle, or maybe not-so-subtle, body movements. Contrary to how insecure we as women can be sometimes in terms of our appearance, men generally take notice of indicative body language. Sometimes, men are even more in tune with body movements and language than words.
Here are some body language tips to show that you are interested:
- Flip your hair
- Give him a coy smile
- Put your cell phone away/don’t scroll through social media or texts when you are around him
- Smile genuinely when he says something interesting or funny
- Make and keep eye contact during conversation
- Lightly touch him on the arm, shoulder, etc.
- Flutter your eyelashes
- Laugh
- Lean in closely during conversations to make it more intimate
- Walk closely next to him so your bodies are almost touching
- If you’re feeling especially courageous and the moment is right, reach for his hand
Be Persistent
There is a fine line here between being a stalker and making a concerted effort to establish a day and time for a date. Guys, especially if they are shy or don’t have a lot of experience with girls, may appreciate this and take it as a sign of interest. It also may make them more confident in continuing the relationship and taking the initiative themselves in the future.
Ask Him Out On A Date With A Specific Date And Time
Again, this is a bold option, but a guy may be more willing to show interest right away if you make the first move and attempt to schedule a date with them without playing any games. Here are some great first date ideas for you to suggest:
Be Honest
Most people appreciate honesty. This is true before and during a relationship. If you approach the guy, and this situation, as honestly as possible without trying to play games or lead him on, he will be more open to listening to what you have to say.
I think most people who have been in long-term relationships can agree that honesty is certainly the glue that holds a relationship together. There are going to be many times in a relationship when you will have to be brutally honest, so why not start doing so with this mindset now?
All this being said, it is important to remember that this is just one person’s advice. Sometimes, especially if you are lacking in experience in this area, it is valuable to hear what others who have been in your situation have to say.
We totally get it. Telling a guy you like him is incredibly intimidating, especially when you really are not sure what is going to happen next. Depending on the outcome of this situation, the result could be embarrassing and heartbreaking, or it could be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
The most important thing to remember is that the worst thing you can do is not tell him and always wonder what his response would’ve been. If you feel strongly enough, you should take the initiative to do so. Otherwise, you will always wonder what would have happened. The worst that can possibly happen is that the guy does not feel the same way you do, you have an awkward moment or period of time and eventually move on to bigger and better things.
Life is full of these difficult, emotional situations. If you are really invested in the potential of this relationship, you may find yourself at a real crossroads as to whether or not to risk being hurt. However, if you take the tips from above, as well as use your own judgement to evaluate the situation, I have no doubt that you will be able to determine the best course of action.
Though it may not be perfect or as romantic as a movie, it will undoubtedly still be a learning moment and something valuable for you to experience in life, regardless of the outcome. I hope it is a positive one, and I wish you nothing but confidence and luck as you go after what you want!
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