How to Let a Guy Know You Like Him in a Way That Feels Natural

Telling a guy you like him sounds simple enough—until you’re actually the one who has to say it.

When you really like someone, it’s easy to get caught up in figuring out the right way to tell him. Should you just say it? Drop a few hints? Ask him out and see what happens? And, of course, there’s the bigger question underneath all of those: What if he doesn’t feel the same way?

There’s no perfect way to handle this, and there’s definitely no formula that can guarantee the response you want. The ideas below are simply that—ideas. Some may feel natural to you, while others may not sound like you at all.

Use what’s helpful, skip what isn’t, and do what feels right for you. The goal isn’t to say or do all the right things so that he likes you back. It’s to decide whether you want to express your interest and, if you do, find a way that feels comfortable and genuine.

How to Tell a Guy You Like Him

So, let’s address the real question here: how do you tell a guy you like him? There are many ways and this will depend on many different factors. Did you just meet? Have you been friends forever? Are you very close friends and wondering, “should I tell him I like him at the risk of ruining our friendship?”

Those things can all affect how you approach the conversation. But there is no perfect way to tell a guy you like him, and, of course, no foolproof formula for success since every person is so drastically different.

Here are some basic ideas to consider. You don’t need to use all of them—or any of them exactly as written. Think about the relationship you already have with him, what you want, and what feels most like you.

Before You Tell Him, Pay Attention to the Connection

Before you decide what you want to say, take a look at the connection between the two of you.

You don’t need to figure out whether he likes you before you tell him how you feel. And there’s no way to guarantee that your feelings will be returned. But if you want another perspective, you can try getting the opinions of some of your girlfriends. Because they’re a little more removed from the situation, they may notice things you’ve missed.

Look for some hints that he may drop casually in conversation. Does he compliment you out of the blue? Does he mention hanging out with you? Those things can give you some context, but don’t treat them as proof of how he feels.

Start simple conversations with him. Small talk can be very telling. If you two can carry on a conversation, it shows that you have the most basic chemistry. Pay attention to how the conversation feels and whether you actually enjoy talking and spending time together.

If you feel like there could be something here, let’s talk about some strategies for actually telling this guy that you like him. Like, like like him.

Be Direct

Taking the initiative can be the simplest way to stop wondering and find out where you stand. You don’t have to wait around for him to say something first.

Getting straight to the point also eliminates the typical “gameplay” and skirting around the issue that causes anxiety, stress, and confusion. You may both be wondering what the other person is thinking. If you’re ready to make this move, be the one to say something first.

Direct doesn’t have to mean making a huge declaration. It can simply mean being clear about your interest rather than trying to find the perfect hint.

Compliment Him

Keep it simple. A sincere compliment can let him know that you notice and appreciate something about him.

When you compliment a guy, it shows you are paying attention and that you notice things about him that you like. It can be a way to show your interest without coming right out and saying it.

Ask Him About Himself

This tip builds off the last. If you’re interested in him, show genuine interest in the things that matter to him. It also gives you a chance to learn more about him and whether the two of you actually connect.

Even if you aren’t necessarily passionate about what he is passionate about, genuine curiosity can show that you want to get to know him better. The point isn’t to act interested so that he reacts a certain way. It’s to be curious about someone you like and see where the conversation takes you.

Use Body Language

You don’t necessarily have to say how you feel right away. Showing him you’re interested with some subtle, or maybe not-so-subtle, body movements can be another way to communicate interest.

The key is to keep it natural. You don’t need to perform a list of flirting tricks or act differently from how you normally would.

Here are some body language tips to show that you are interested:

1. Give him a genuine smile.
2. Put your cell phone away/don’t scroll through social media or texts when you are around him.
3. Smile genuinely when he says something interesting or funny.
4. Make and keep eye contact during conversation.
5. If it feels natural and welcome, lightly touch him on the arm, shoulder, etc.
6. Lean in a little during conversation if it feels comfortable.
7. If you’re feeling especially courageous and the moment is right, reach for his hand.

Again, these are ideas, not requirements. If some of them feel awkward or unlike you, skip them.

Make an Effort, but Pay Attention to His Response

If you want to spend time with him, it’s okay to make an effort to actually get a date on the calendar. You don’t have to sit back and wait for him to make the first move.

But persistence isn’t the goal. If he repeatedly avoids making plans, declines without suggesting another time, or simply doesn’t match your effort, pay attention to that too. His response gives you useful information about what he wants.

Ask Him Out on a Specific Date

Again, this is a bold option, but you can skip the hints altogether and ask him out yourself. Suggest something you’d like to do and a day or time that works for you.

That gives him a clear opportunity to say yes, suggest another time, or let you know that he isn’t interested. Either way, you have more clarity than you did before.

Be Honest

Most people appreciate honesty. This is true before and during a relationship. If you approach him honestly without trying to play games or lead him on, you give him the chance to respond honestly too.

You also don’t have to make the conversation bigger than it needs to be. Being honest can simply mean letting him know that you enjoy spending time with him, that you’re interested in going on a date, or that you like him and wanted him to know.

His Response Is Information, Not a Verdict on You

We totally get it. Telling a guy you like him is incredibly intimidating, especially when you really are not sure what is going to happen next. You might get exactly the response you’re hoping for. Or you might find out that he doesn’t feel the same way.

If you want to tell him, being open about your feelings can give you clarity instead of leaving you wondering what might have happened. But you also get to decide whether telling him feels right for you. Having feelings for someone doesn’t mean you have to confess them.

And if he doesn’t feel the same way, that can hurt. You may have an awkward moment or period of time and eventually move on to bigger and better things. His answer tells you how he feels; it doesn’t determine your worth or mean you did something wrong by being interested.

Life is full of these difficult, emotional situations. The ideas above can give you a place to start, but ultimately, use your own judgement to evaluate the situation and decide what feels right for you.

Though it may not be perfect or as romantic as a movie, it will undoubtedly still be a learning moment and something valuable for you to experience in life, regardless of the outcome.