How to Have a Good First Date Without Overthinking Everything

If you’re looking for tips for a first date, there’s a good chance you’re thinking about how to make a good impression.

That’s understandable. But there’s another side of a first date that’s just as important: you’re there to get an impression, too.

You’re not auditioning for a second date. You’re meeting someone and finding out how the two of you feel around each other.

Wear Something That Lets You Forget About What You’re Wearing

Dressing appropriately can be tough if you do not know a lot about the place you are going. If you do not know the name of the place you are going, ask your date how you should dress.

No matter where you go, make sure that you are comfortable in whatever you are wearing.

You want to be able to sit down, walk around, eat, laugh, and enjoy yourself without constantly adjusting your clothes or wondering how you look.

Wear something that feels appropriate for where you’re going and feels like you. Then stop thinking about it.

Speak Up for Yourself

Sometimes on dates women feel that they can not disagree with a man or offer an opinion. This train of thought is completely wrong.

You don’t have to agree with everything your date says because you’re hoping he’ll like you. If you have a different opinion, you’re allowed to have it. If he asks what you want to eat or what you’d like to do, you don’t have to say, “Whatever you want.”

A first date isn’t just an opportunity for him to get to know you. It’s your opportunity to find out what it’s like to be yourself around him.

Can you have a different opinion without it becoming uncomfortable? Does he seem curious about what you think? Are you curious about him?

Those things tell you something.

Give Genuine Compliments, Not Strategic Ones

If you like the place or venue that your date has picked out, you can compliment him indirectly by talking about how good of a time you are having or what a great atmosphere the place has.

There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know you appreciate the effort they made. If the restaurant is great, say so. If you’re having a good time, tell him.

You don’t have to pretend you loved something you didn’t because you’re afraid an honest reaction will ruin your chances.

Be kind, certainly. But let your reactions be real.

How Much Should You Share on a First Date?

On a first date, especially if you have not had one in a while, it can be tempting to tell all the great things about you in the first sitting. Avoid doing this. You do not want to overwhelm your date with your entire life story.

That’s still useful advice, but not because withholding information makes you more attractive.

You just don’t have to fit your entire life into one conversation.

Talk about whatever comes up naturally. Ask questions you’re genuinely interested in hearing the answers to. Let the conversation wander a little.

Context matters. There’s a difference between honestly mentioning something difficult in your life and turning a first date into a three-hour processing session about your ex, your job, or everything that’s currently going wrong.

You can be open without telling someone everything all at once.

Don’t Try to Have the Perfect First Date

Chances are everything will not be perfect on the first date. Don’t worry about that. Allow yourself to goof up. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The truth is, most people are so focused on themselves and how they are doing that they won’t put much focus on you.

You might say something awkward. There may be a weird silence. Your joke might fall flat. You could spill something. He may be nervous, too.

None of those things necessarily tell you whether the date was successful.

Instead of monitoring yourself all night, Was I interesting enough? Did I talk too much? Does he like me? try to pay attention to the experience you’re actually having.

Are you enjoying the conversation? Do you feel comfortable? Are you interested in knowing more about him? Does the interest seem mutual?

And when the date is over, you don’t have to immediately figure out whether this person could become a relationship.

There’s really only one question you need to answer next:

Would I like to spend time with him again?

If the answer is yes, that’s a pretty successful first date.