Dating & Commitment

Before, I met prince charming there were some things I was doing that were actually harming my ability to meet some really nice men. And once I changed these things, I got everything I wanted.

3 Reasons SOME Women Remain Single When They Otherwise Would Be In Healthy Relationships

1. Feelings – How do you feel about men? Be honest with yourself. Do you think all men are dogs, all they care about is one thing, or that they will always “be a man”? Well, if you are continuously thinking that way that is what you will get. Before, I met my prince charming that was the first thing I had to change.

I had observed many relationships, probably not the best ones and I had a general dislike towards men. No matter who you are you aren’t that good of an actress. If you have a general bad feeling about men, he will feel that, and he will get as far away from you as possible. Or worse, every man you meet will live up to that expectation because that is what you are thinking.

2. Expectations – What are your expectations for yourself? Do you believe that a good man will come into your life? I hear so many women complaining about how men don’t like professional women, women who attend church, fat women, skinny women, black women, white women, and so on. Well, if that’s what you believe that will become true for you. There are good men out there that like all different types of women. And the women who get these good men, are those women who believe that those good men WANT them.

3. Chasing – This has been a controversial issue for a long time. Should women pursue a man that they like? My stance on this has varied, but recently it has been a definitive NO. I do not believe women should pursue men. 

Firstly, if you are chasing men, you put yourself in a mindset of lack, that there are a lack of good men out there that will ACTUALLY chase YOU. As a whole, we could create a world of better men, if we just stop spoiling men by chasing them. Does the lion get his food brought to him in the jungle?

Think about what would happen if he did. He would be lazy and lose his fight. And when women chase men and make it easy for them, he gets lazy and expects for you to make the first move all the time. And there is nothing like a lion when he is hunting. He will use all his strength and energy to get his target. And if you haven’t had that feeling yet, it has to be on your bucket list.

No, not being chased by a lion, being chased by a man who truly wants you. The feeling can not be replaced! Getting what you want from a man is more about using your feminine qualities than trying to MAKE him do what you want. You don’t do it with force, you do it with love. You can learn how to change how men look at you and therefore, attract more good men.

 

Are Men Similar To Real Estate? Does He Have Too Much Curb Appeal?

In dating as in real estate there are varying degrees of value. For instance, you may have a man who is handsome, has money, and has a charming personality that all the ladies love as well as a house with curb appeal and a kitchen and bathroom that will make you get in an emotional bidding war with several other buyers.

And often times, these bidding wars end up with someone paying a lot more for the property than they should have!

On the other end you can have a guy that just does not cut it for a lot of women, his haircut is off, his social skills are a bit lacking, and on top of that he looks like he is stuck in the 90’s! This is the similar to houses where the owner has not taken time to remodel their kitchen and bathroom (the rooms that sell real estate) or even mow the lawn or plant any flowers on the outside. This house stays on the market for a very long time.

So which one should you choose?

Well, that truly depends on you. How much work are you willing to do? And what type of work are you willing to do?

Well as human beings often times we are most likely in the first situation and we want that house with everything perfected! We don’t want to have to do any work. The problem is that everyone else wants that same house.

This is the same with the man that seemingly has it all. Everyone wants to be with that man! And sometimes what happens in situations like this is that the man is actually overvalued. With so many females giving him attention and singing his praises, you run the risk of getting in a bidding war you might never win.

And if you do win, you might find out that you paid way more for it emotionally than you should have.

Alternatively, you can have a house that has no curb appeal and needs a little work on the inside and some sprucing up on the outside. Seasoned real estate investors know that this type of property is GOLD. They can buy the house for a really low price, put in a little work and spruce it up, and the houses is appraised for double and sometimes triple what they paid for it.

This is the guy that not a lot of females pay attention to. He is mostly ignored during social gatherings and no one really tries to get to know him beyond his outward appearance. This type of guy could be a golden opportunity. One of the best men you have ever dated. He has not been SPOILED with all the attention and he knows that you are a gem to be chased. In addition he has not dated around a lot so he won’t be constantly comparing you to other women. He is going to do a lot more things for you and be grateful that you are in his life.

And just because his curb appeal is not appealing now, doesn’t mean it can’t change in the future. With a little work and patience, you will become the envy of all your friends. They will wonder how you found such a seemingly perfect mate. They will be jealous that you get to answer his phone when it rings and that his eyes don’t wonder when he is around you.

I’m a big fan of these types of men, the ones that have not been spoiled yet; the type of man that will open doors for you and not be afraid or too worried about getting his outfit dirty to change a tire. The man that you can feel comfortable enough to go to the bathroom at a restaurant without worrying that he will allow a woman at another table to give him her number. The man that seems clueless to all the attention he is getting from women. The type of man who appreciates you and calls you after he gets off work to check in with you and see if you have any plans before he makes his.

There are men out there like that, but sometimes you have to put in a little work. Apply some polish to them, dust them off. You will find so much more value in them if you just give them a chance.

Note: I am not talking about men with huge character flaws like being abusive, insecure, thugs/bad boys, lazy men who will not work, men with several baby mamas. (That is not a curb appeal issue; those are plumbing and electrical problems.) And in real estate, that costs you a butt load of money! Run very fast and don’t look back.

With that being said, maybe you feel you are up to the challenge, and you want what you want NOW. You want the French doors, remodeled bathroom and kitchen, mowed lawn, bay windows, recessed lighting, solar windows, the whole package. You want a house that is move in ready and you are willing to pay a bit more for the package.

I’m not mad at you girl! Sometimes you just want what you want. You want the guy who has it all, good looks, charming & handsome. In this case you have to set yourself up as someone that he wants. He has to feel that he would give up all the women that are chasing him, just to spend time with you. You have to be confident in yourself and know that you are the bomb and that he is lucky to have you.

He has to know that if he doesn’t act right that you are ready to take your show on the road and he will loose you. You don’t have to say it, just knowing and feeling it is enough. He will feel that energy when he is around you, that this one is not like the rest, she respects herself and she has a waiting list herself of men who would cut off a right leg to be with her. Otherwise, you set yourself up for tearful nights.

He has to value you more than he values the attention from the other women. And when this happens other women won’t be able to get into your relationship because they know that they don’t have a chance in hell of him keeping his eyes off of you. They will give up and move on to someone else that leaves them those little crumbs that keep them going.

So you are going on a date with a guy, and you want to know some great tips for first date. A first date is a very important step in creating the relationship you want with a man. And I know because you are reading this that making a good first impression is important to you. Follow these 5 tips to not fall into these common mistakes that women make on first dates.

5 Easy Ways To Prep For the First Date

1)    Dress appropriately

Dressing appropriately can be tough if you do not know a lot about the place you are going.  If you do not know the name of the place you are going, ask your date how you should dress. Do not get into which colors you should wear or if you should wear a V-neck top or not. Ask him questions about whether it is a more casual place where you can wear jeans, or if it would be better to wear something a tad bit dressier.

MEGA TIP: No matter where you go, make sure that you are comfortable in whatever you are wearing. This means not wearing clothes that are too small or that fall off of you. Your clothing should fit nicely on you. If you have a tough time choosing something that will look good, peruse through women’s magazines find an outfit that you like and mimic that outfit. You don’t have to go out and buy expensive clothes to do this. You can find the same style of clothes at a department store or even in your closet.

MEGA MEGA TIP: The more comfortable you are in what you are wearing, the more confidence you will be. If possible test the outfit out at another event or gathering before wearing it on your date. See if you get compliments or gauge how confident you are wearing the outfit.

2)    Speak up for yourself

Sometimes on dates women feel that they can not disagree with a man or offer an opinion. This train of thought is completely wrong. Let him know that you value yourself. This does not mean disagreeing with everything he says but letting him know what you actually think can show him you are not afraid to communicate.

3)    Use your compliments wisely

If you like the place or venue that your date has picked out, you can compliment him indirectly by talking about how good of a time you are having or what a great atmosphere the place has. This gives the same if not a better effect than telling him he picked out a great location. If you go to a restaurant and the food is delicious, talk about it. By you appreciating the place he has picked for the date, you give him the confidence to ask you out again.

DATER BEWARE: This same principle works if you do not like the location. If you complain about the location your date might take it personally. Or if you watch a movie, and you hated it, your date can take this negatively as well. If you really like the time you spent with your date and do not want to hurt his feelings, focus on the positive aspects of the date and talk about those.

4)    Be mysterious

On a first date, especially if you have not had one in a while, it can be tempting to tell all the great things about you in the first sitting. Avoid doing this. You do not want to overwhelm your date with your entire life story. The first date should be light and fun. Share with your date the types of music you like and what you like to do in your free time. Avoid talking about serious topics like how you hate your job or how you are so sad because your pet just died, this can make your date really uncomfortable.

5)    Don’t be afraid to make mistakes

Chances are everything will not be perfect on the first date. Do not fret. Allow yourself to goof up. Do not be too hard on yourself.  Learn from your mistakes and do better next time. Most likely your date will not notice or will not even care. Often times we put a lot more pressure on ourselves than other people do.

How To Get The Man You Want Easily

I know how it feels when you know in your heart of hearts that a guy would be perfect for you and you want to convince him that you are the woman for him. Or maybe you are at a point where you just want to attract the right guy for you that has all the qualities you want.

I am going to share with you 3 rules that melt men’s hearts and causes them to be more inclined to be in a relationship with you. And I am  going to share with you the one single thing that ruins your chances of ever getting with him, more women than you think actually do this.

Note: Pursuing him, buying him things, or doing everything he wants is not going to get you the man you want. These are huge turn-offs for men even though it seems that a man might like you to do this. The type of woman that makes men really want to enter into a relationship is the complete opposite of this.

 Have you defined it clearly?

This must be done before anything else. There are many women who have been successful in getting the guy that they want physically, but when they actually got to know the real person, it wasn’t what they wanted at all. So before anything else, write a list, check it twice, and decide what type of man you want.

DATER BEWARE: Separate must have qualities between nice to have qualities. If you meet a nice guy who has all your must haves it would be silly to dismiss him simply because he does not like drinking grape juice like you do. The important thing here is to know which qualities that are deal breakers for you and which qualities are bonuses.

The one thing men can’t help but love.

No matter what type of guy you like, there is one thing a man can’t resist. It’s your smile. Have you smiled at him yet? Yes, it’s really darn simple, but some women like guys for years and have not even given the green light, letting him know that if he were to approach you, you would most likely accept his advances. If you haven’t given your man a smile, it will be difficult for him to just randomly approach you. Men fear rejection as much, if not more than women. You have to give him something to go on.

The easiest brownie points you can ever get…

If you have been reading my site you know all about a man’s number one need. If not, I would like to share that with you now. A man’s number one need is to feel successful. A man will approach a woman that he feels that he can please because that gives him his feeling of success. Are you hard to please? Does it show all over your face? Are you disgusted by men? All of this shows.

A man wants a woman that he can please. If you are difficult to please or seem to be, he won’t want to be near you.

Here’s how you can get some easy brownie points, compliment him. Ok, in order to get all your brownie points don’t focus on HIM in particular, focus on the thing he has provided. So let’s say you are doing a group project together and he did the excel worksheets, talk about how great the sheets were put together. Women are the ones who like direct compliments like “You are so wonderful”, “You are so pretty”, “You are so smart”.

Men like to receive compliments about what they have provided. So compliments like “The movie was so good”, “That project turned out great”, “That was the best restaurant I have ever been to” are best. Try it, it works.

Are you giving off this vibe? It’s a huge turn off!

If there is one thing that every woman should know, it’s that you don’t HAVE to have any man. Don’t jump over bridges or walk on water to convince him that you are the right woman for him. You don’t have to give off the desperate vibe. If you get into the habit of always pursuing him, you set yourself up for a lifetime of pursuit. You do not want to be the person always initiating dates or nights out. Let him do some of the work. And plus, there is nothing like a man being in pursuit of you. When a man is pursuing you he is using his natural hunter qualities and you will love the attention.

6 Simple Ways To Determine If He Is “The One”

If you have been dating someone for a while, you may wonder if he is “the one”, and in your haste to find Mr. Right, you are sometimes blinded by your feelings, and can sometimes end up with somebody who is really not good for you.

It is important for any woman such as yourself to understand that if you are not completely honest with yourself and do not see the relationship for what it really is, you could very well find yourself 10 years down the track in a marriage you wish you’d never got into. So most likely, before you enter into a long term relationship you want to find out how to determine if he is right for you.

I am going to share with you 6 questions that you should ask yourself to determine if the guy you are with is right for you. Be honest when you answer the following questions because it will only hurt you in the long run if lie to yourself about whether you both are compatible.

1. One of These Things Is Not Like The Other…

Do you have the same values as him? I know we live in a world where everything is accepted and if you aren’t open to other people’s beliefs you are called closed minded or too conservative. But really, this is your life.

When it comes to important values like religion, how you should handle your money and if you want to have a big family or a small family, these usually should be discussed up front. If they are deal breakers for you, don’t settle.

I once dated a guy for 4 1/2 years trying to convince myself that religion didn’t matter to me or that I could change him (big mistake). But in my heart religion was the core of how I lived my life. We believed in 2 completely different things and that caused a log of anxiety for me which led to weight gain. You really don’t want to take as long as I did to come to terms with how important your values are.

On the other hand, if you don’t value religion that highly or you don’t care which political party another person supports, then by all means it’s not that big of a deal to you, this person could be the right person to you.

But if you know in your heart it’s a value you can’t compromise on, don’t compromise on it because it just leads to heartbreak and a whole lot of arguments.

2. How Do You Feel?

How does your man make you feel? Does he make you feel good? Are you relaxed around him? Can you just be yourself?

This is equally as important, because if you feel you can’t be your complete self around him, imperfections and all, you will continuously have to live up to this high standards and when you fall from his graces, you risk the chance of losing him.

And plus it’s so much darn fun when you can have fun with the person you with. You should be excited when you see the person you’re dating. They should make you feel good.

This world is filled with so many stresses and depressing moments that when you come home or when you see your mate, you should feel refreshed by them. If you don’t have this feeling he may not be right for you.

3. Does He Treat You Right?

I always like to determine this by testing it against my two favorite men, my dad and my brother. My dad and brother both treat me very well.  So if I don’t feel that a man is treating me the way my dad or brother would, that’s not a situation I want to be in.  When in a relationship you should feel that the other person wouldn’t intentionally hurt or harm you.

Maybe it isn’t your dad or brother maybe it’s another man that respects you or cherishes you, but if you aren’t being treated right, that’s a red flag. If he is cheating on you, hitting you, talking negatively to you, not supporting you – these are all forms of being mistreated.

And it’s a sign that you have low self esteem if you are still in the abusive relationship. No one deserves to be mistreated. Period.

4. Are You Settling?

Are there things you always wanted in a relationship, and your man just doesn’t have them? You might be settling. If the only reason you are with him because you feel that this is the best you can do or you’re lucky to find him, more than likely you are settling.

There are two sides to this story, there could be things that you wanted in a relationship and your man doesn’t have them but you found out that what your man DOES have is actually better for you.

On the other hand, it’s the situation where you always feel something is missing or that your heart can’t rest easy in the relationship because you know you want more.

5. Do You Treat Him Well?

Ah ha, you didn’t think I was going to get to this one but this is also an important part of the relationship. How you treat your man is going to speak volumes to whether he is right for you. If you feel you can’t respect him or don’t trust him, this probably is not the man for you.

How you treat him speaks volumes to how much you respect him and if you are entering into a partnership/committed relationship with him you want to make sure you trust him to have your back and to work towards your goals together.

On the other hand, it may be an issue with you and maybe you never learned how to treat a man so that he will want to do things for you. Kara Oh has an awesome book on Amazon called From Dating To ‘I Do’: The Ultimate Dating Guide: How To Win His Heart Forever. It teaches how to date a man to bring out the best in him. At under $2 on Amazon, it’s a steal.

6. Do You Know Him?

I know I’m going to get a lot of women angry here, but it has to be said. I receive so many emails from women telling me that they have just met a guy and he is “the one”.

You just really set yourself up for disappointment with this one. If you haven’t even met the guy or you have not known him for a long time, it will be impossible to know if he is the one. What you are most likely experiencing is infatuation and not love at all.

If you don’t know a person, it is impossible to tell if that person is the “the one”. You are going by a perfect version of him.

Here are some consequences of being with the wrong person:

Consequence 1. You will always feel that something is missing

Consequence 2. You will know deep down that you deserve better

Consequence 3. You may spend many years feeling trapped with somebody who is just not right for you

Consequence 4. You may find yourself as a single mother, after having children to this person you never should have even been in a relationship with

Consequence 5. You will live your life feeling unhappy and unfulfilled

Some additional tips I put together for you:

Tip 1. Find out what do your friends and family think about your relationship. Do they like him, do they hate him, what are their thoughts? Remember, your friends and family love you and want the best for you, so what they have to say should not be taken lightly.

Tip 2 Think about the way he makes you feel most of the time. If you are constantly walking on eggshells, or you are often annoyed or angry at him for whatever reason, then the answer here is obvious. If however he treats you like a queen, worships the ground you walk on, and you know he would do absolutely anything for you, and you feel the same way about him (and this is important!), then chances are your relationship is off to a great start.

Tip 3. And one of the most important ways to determine if he is right for you is to ask yourself this question, If my mom or sister or aunt was the same age as I would I feel comfortable with knowing that he was her companion? If your answer to this question is no, you should seriously rethink the relationship because if he isn’t good enough for your family or people you love he surely isn’t good enough for you.

Finding out if he is right for you is as simple as looking at your relationship with complete honesty. Look at your relationship from both yours and his perspective, and consider how your friends and family view your relationship as well, because it is those closest to you that will see your relationship for what it truly is.

Irresistibility Tips: 5 Sneaky Things You Should Be Doing Right Now To Become Impossible To Resist

It can’t be faked.

Irresistible is an attitude. Irresistibility will make a man call you right after he has talked to you face to face. It will make a man WANT to talk about a long term relationship with you. He will drive long distances to see you. It will make him beg you to meet his mother.

It’s amazing that more women don’t use these secrets since they are highly effective and actually work. How many do you use on a daily basis?

5 Things Every Woman Should Be Doing To Be Irresistible To A Man

1. She That Actually Likes Men Will Attract Them.

Well of course you like men right? Well, although this might seem really simplistic, a lot of women truly don’t like men. Maybe they have been hurt by a man they trusted, have had bad experiences with men, or just been passed over by so many men that they have negative feelings towards them.

This will always put you at a disadvantage. You aren’t tricking him. The same way that you can sniff out a man who doesn’t actually like women but just sees them as sex objects, he can sense that you truly don’t like men.

2. She That Gives Up The Cookies Early, Loses The Chance For A Man To Nourish Himself With The Main Course.

You heard me right. I’m talking about giving out sex too easily and too early. No matter what you say, “I usually don’t do this” – He will still think that you give it out easily to every other guy. A man falls in love with a woman’s virtue.

Actually even if you give him sex when in a relationship without a clear commitment, you will always lose, he will take your cookies and leave – after all rarely do we want a full course meal AFTER a delicious dessert.

3. She That Dresses The Part, Gets Her Man.

Men love women who dress like women. Opposites do attract. I’m not knocking current fashion, some guys do look cool in their skinny jeans, but somehow I have never really seen any skinny jean wearing men as potential mates…

Men see so many women dressed in loose fitting jeans and t-shirts that you really turn heads if you wear a dress or a skirt. Men just don’t see women wearing feminine clothes often. So the woman who takes a little extra time and dresses like a woman always get the majority of the attention…And is seen as irresistible.

4. She Who Is Irresistible To Herself Is Irresistible To Him.

If you don’t feel you are irresistible, it will be impossible for him to feel that you are irresistible. Your attitude about yourself will form his attitudes and perceptions about you.

Don’t believe me? How do you feel about yourself? Doesn’t it seem like others support your thoughts you have about you?

5. She Who Smiles, Melts A Man’s Heart.

If you can get this last part right, you can have virtually any man you want. A smile truly melts a man’s heart. Smile at everyone, but save your warmest smile for the man you want.

A smile lets a guy know that you are receptive to him approaching you. It breaks down all walls and he sees you as a warm and friendly person which is essential in being irresistible.

Why Is Being Irresistible So Important?

Being irresistible is vitally important if you want to get into a healthy relationship or maintain the spark in a current relationship. Attractiveness will get his attention but being irresistible will get him linked to you like the Starbucks customers lined up at the drive thru on a hot summer day ordering hot mochas in their air conditioned car (I happen to be one of these addicts).

Being irresistible and attracting a man who want to pursue you is a great feeling. It is so much better than waiting on a guy to figure out how great you are. And if you haven’t had that feeling, you long for it, for a man to love and cherish you, for you to be the woman he wouldn’t want to live without.

Few women get it right.

If you are like many woman the secrets that make men act in ways they otherwise wouldn’t is completely foreign to you.

Let me explain.

Maybe you have had a guy to fall head over heels in love with you before but now the sizzle has died down in the relationship and you wonder why or you are looking for that feeling you get when a man truly wants and desires you but somehow can’t figure out what to do? Either way, there are some things that are necessary to get him to not only desire you but to treasure you.

The reason why so many relationships split up is not because of incompatibility or loss of attraction.

The reason is pretty simple, men and women don’t understand each other and any relationship that has broken up has had some level of misunderstanding.